NSFW Jun. 29th, 2014 09:21 am
perzephone: (lunar phases)
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )


Jul. 21st, 2007 04:41 am
perzephone: (Default)
I didn't get anywhere when I tried it but I still want to see it made available to those who can journey with it. I've heard the spirit behind Salvia is a powerful one, one who can change lives forever. (I've only heard far-off whispers, but it's not the plant's fault - certain doors are probably forever barred where I'm concerned.)

Ohio lawmakers are trying to have Salvia divinorum listed as a controlled substance. It'll probably happen since it's been done in four or five other states.

This irritates me on a couple of different levels. For one, it's still held sacred by traditional and not-so-traditional shamans. Through various psychonauts, it became more widely known and is now being sold by head shops as a 'legal high'. Thanks guys, thanks for bringing this herb to the attention of the general public. Thank you for posting videos of yourselves casually using this herb and acting like absolute morons. You've furthered entheogenic exploration once again.

I have a nasty sinus headache.
perzephone: (Default)
Well, me (Zane, that is, lvl 61 hunter) & Rob's Death character (lvl 50 warlock) successfully completed the Trolls of a Feather quest in the Sunken Temple, all so Death could have a scythe. Thottbot totally let me down, too - instead of anyone posting anything truly useful, like maybe directions or something, everyone is squabbling about the quest rewards. I've only been in there before to snag a snake from the entrance when Blizz made certain snakes tameable by hunters. Of course, my lvl 46 serpent is still a lvl 46 because he's completely useless & couldn't hold aggro with vicegrips. I got him too late in the game, really, but Zane was a 58 when they opened the snakes to taming & he's blue & purple. I could always slink into Zul'Gurub (more elite fucking trolls, mrglglglmrgl-urglmrgl!!!) & snag a lvl 60 red & yellow one, but it's such a yucky color combo. I keep arguing w/Rob because the useless snake is taking up a stable slot, but he's attached to it. He won't play a hunter because he can't stand to watch the pets die over & over again. Unless I happen to get lucky & find Grunter, I'm pretty much done w/taming new beasties. It's too hard to level them at my level.

Once inside the instance... that place has the most insane respawn rate. I thought the Scarlet Monastery was bad, but it ain't got nothin' on the Sunken Temple. I mean, the minute you ghost back into the instance, there's one to two trolls that are standing in the doorway you need. Then there's a pa-troll, usually two pa-trolls, coming down the staircase. I kept getting lost because Rob kept telling me to go 'all the way downstairs', which never put me on the same landing as the entrance, but instead placed me in the Hall of Serpents, which isn't full of serpents, instead, it's full of dragonkin. I finally figured out there were two staircases, a long one and a short one - Rob hadn't even realized it himself. After Sunken Temple & our earlier forays into Jintha'Alor & Zul'Farrak, I am so sick & tired of elite fucking trolls it isn't even funny. I mean, just when I'd think I had the mobs & aggro under con-troll, another pa-troll would come along and screw things up. As far as I'm concerned for any other characters who reach 40 & get a mount, that guy in the Shimmering Flats can take his carrot on a stick & do something unspeakable with it.

Another highlight of the past coupla nights - after about 6 months of intermittent grinding & questing, I (Zane) am friendly with the Timbermaw. I'm also halfway to 62 & Jinx (my hyaena) has made it to 59. She is the bombest tank.

I want my damned orphan quest already!!!

In the Real World...

Saw an article for a birth control pill called Lybrel - it's still under development. It is designed to completely stop the period. Since I no longer work in a 'smoking environment', and I've been trying to lose a little weight, I'm hoping my gyno will be more open-minded about me taking something similar, like maybe Seasonique or Yaz. Lybrel excites me! My insurance won't cover extra pills for me to just skip the inactive pills - chauvinistic bastards. I had managed to stockpile some pills last year & it's been nice over these past 2 months to not have to fuss w/being on the rag while trying to recover from the surgery. Eventually I will find a doc who will grant me my hysterectomy, hopefully before I hit menopause.

My physical therapy is done, done, done. My scrip runs out Monday, I see my doctor on the 24th. Everyone today was like, "Oh, yeah, your doc will give you another scrip & we'll see you again next week." Hah, that's what they think. For one, I don't really like this p.t. office compared to Jackson's. Secondly, well, we're broke. Thirdly, I'm tired of exercising. My back is killing me. I have noticed improvement in my thigh & knee. I can pick my leg up & straighten it out w/out using my hands, I only limp when I'm trying to get somewhere fast and the tenderness is fading day-by-day. For my level of inactivity, I'm cool with what I've got.

I'm starting to worry now that I've lost my faith to the point where I'm becoming an atheist. Especially the more I read Aldous Huxley & Lewis Mehl-Madrona. I'm working on Coyote Healing: Miracles in Native Medicine and I've come to the determination that I don't believe in miracles. I believe the human mind is insanely powerful, but I don't feel that there's any sort of divine intervention going on there. Maybe it's the combination of the two authors infecting my brain - Aldous Huxley explains that the reason chanting, singing and cyclic breathing exercises transports a person to the spiritual realm is because it raises the concentration of carbon dioxide in the blood stream. Apparently, CO2 is a wonderful hallucinogen & psychedelic in the right concentrations. Combine a high CO2 concentration w/stroboscopic lighting & you can replicate a mescalin trip. You also get to see flashes of light and fantastic landscapes when you set about choking yourself - if you can survive & not end up like Michael Hutchens.

The chemicals commonly called Ecstasy are found in the body - GHBH & GABA. Weirdly enough, death causes GHBH concentrations to rise dramatically, which combined w/higher CO2 concentrations upon death may explain the visions seen during near-death experiences. The high amounts of GHBH found in the body at death may also explain why the medical profession sees X as a deadly drug.

There is just so much I don't believe in anymore. All I do believe is that this is pretty much all there is. There are no rewards in the afterlife, no heavenly garden of rest and relaxation, no virgins, no puffy clouds & little naked winged children, no loved ones waiting at the door, no Summer Isle, no Elysium Fields... Working and growing old are really all there is - the rest is just wacky brain chemistry.


Feb. 2nd, 2006 02:46 am
perzephone: (the plants)
Met Jody's latest cat addition tonight. Her name's Autumn, and she's a black & orange brindle. She's neutered & declawed, and some motherfucker dumped her out in the desert near Bonnie Springs to fend for herself.

Now, I normally don't care one way or the other about cats. I like to pet animals, and most people I know (myself, Jody, Lisa) all have the knack of attracting cats-that-aren't-cats, or cats with personalities. Autumn is no exception. For one, she is utterly friendly. The day Jody found her, she walked up to Jody looking for attention. At one point tonight she was laying on the couch between me & Jody, one front paw on Jody's hip, her back paw on my thigh. She kept patting Jody, purring & letting me rub her belly. No cat really likes to be rolled onto its back & have its belly scruffled, but Autumn is all up for it. Whenever I'd stop petting her, she'd kick me w/her back leg & look up at me like, "Why'd you stop?" She will let you hold her on her back, cradled in your arm like an infant, all four paws up in the air. She lets you touch her back paws. She lets you touch all her paws - she's a touchy, feely, pawwy cat anyway. She'll grab your hand & rub your fingers on her head.

In other words, she's got personality. She's weird, but she's such a loving animal. I cannot believe someone would just throw her away.

Autumn does have one small problem. If you get tired of her endless, abundant love & affection & push her off onto the floor or away from you, she runs over to her food bowl, gobbles food down & then pukes. She's got some serious rejection issues. This behavior has given her that kind of bloated look that cats with tummy problems get. I suggested maybe some kind of anti-anxiety medication, something along the lines of low-dose valium. Another suggestion was to only put food down during a regular feeding time, which isn't exactly fair to Andy (the dog) or Taz (the other cat) because they're used to having dry stuff available all the time & if her food bowl isn't accessible when she freaks out, she will raid their dishes & do the same thing.

I had cat in my lap for like 4 hours tonight. Every time I'd start thinking about how sweet she was, I'd get so pissed at her former owner. When Miranda gets settled in to her new apartment & has a regular schedule, she's taking Autumn home for Malachi, because it's a love/love relationship there - Autumn loves Malachi & Malachi, in his baby way, loves Autumn. At least Autumn didn't die of thirst or starvation or get eaten by a coyote - she found people who will take care of her for years & years, and that's a good thing.

Andy - is - huge. He's 16 months old, stands a good 3 1/2' at the shoulder, is 6'1" from nose to tail-tip, and about 150lbs. Everyone always says, "look, it's a wolf!" when they see him, and he is a hybrid, but I think his pure whiteness prevents me from seeing wolf in him at all - I see big fucking white German Shepherd. His winter fat & fur make him look like he's got no neck.

On another note, I tried the Salvia again last night. I was in the bathtub reading Clive Barker's 'Abarat: Days of Magic, Nights of War'. I think I either got a dud batch or it just doesn't work for me. The only thing I noticed was some spatial distortion - my feet seemed way far away in the tub, and the images in my head of what I was reading were clearer than normal.


Dec. 23rd, 2005 02:34 am
perzephone: (Default)
Nothing happened. Except for my falling asleep & dreaming about bees. It was a nice nap, though. I think next week I may try smoking it. This time I tried chewing it, which was disgusting and bitter in a sagey way. On a good note, it didn't give me a headache or make me nauseous or dizzy in the slightest bit.

The banquet was very nice, relaxed, sort of laid back - it was me, Pam, Keith, Tufani, Jeff & I let Rob out in public. He was very well-behaved, but him & Jeff were like two little kids in church while the speeches were going on. Jeff had to give a speech for me, & he did very well and kept it nice & short, unlike the one guy from F/B. One of the recipients from Room Res hasn't called in at all this year - we were all looking at each other going, "Damn! She needs her own reward just for that!" And I ate lamb, which always brightens my day tremendously.
perzephone: (the plants)
Well, we started to watch 'The Brothers Grimm' & Rob's mom called. We were in the middle of dinner. He's on the phone w/her now, arguing about his nephew's dad & his sister. Sooo, while he's been arguing, I've been straightening up my room, creating a safe, sacred space.

Contrary to what anyone may believe about me, or what I may have led others to believe about me, I don't have much experience with true hallucinogens. I understand that what one takes into the 'trip' is often connected to what their surroundings are like, so I picked up all my laundry, put away some of the clutter that's been just sitting there next to my bed. Moved the phones away from the bed so the only piece of electronics that is nearby is my CD/clock thingy. I blew the ash & dead matches & joss sticks & dust off the center of my altar & lit some Nag Champa in there. I picked up the softener sheets from the floor & tossed them, put the hot water bottle in the bathroom, I'm going to have to find somewhere else to put the electric fan. I just get the feeling that I don't want anything alien-looking or too mechanical nearby. I'm worried about the iron & ironing board - I may move it into the den for the night. I am afraid of anything that may appear monstrous. So I've turned my room into a mental sanctuary, ready for my journey.

So then as I was standing there, anointing a white candle w/dragon's blood oil, it struck me again that tonight is Solstice night. So as I was anointing the candle, I was chanting in my head, "Dies natalis Solis invictus! Sun God, Sun God, Ra, Ra, Ra!" It was as if I could hear a Roman legion beating their shields & shouting it with me.

Earlier on WoW, on Barrens chat (of course, couldn't say it in UC) I blurted out "I have this deep need to wish everyone a Merry Solstice!" I got so many responses, a lot of them ending w/things like, "Hey, I'm not the only one!" & "There are more of us!" Wow has some amazing imagery in their elfin lands - these stags just north of the Barrens, in Ashenvale - holy moly! Rob's character has a totem that attracts enemy creature's attention - I was almost sick because one of those stags attacked us & was rapidly killing us, so we had to fight back. The stags, even high level ones, don't normally attack. There's a druid sanctuary, and just outside it was 'The Shrine of Remulos'. By the Gods, it is breathtaking in its own CGI way. I wish I could find a decent screenshot of it - it's a tree in the form of a woman, and in front of her is a half-man, half-stag.

Just Stuff

Dec. 21st, 2005 03:22 pm
perzephone: (the plants)
My job scared the crap outta me today, which was a cruel thing considering that I am still technically on vacation.

Last night I got a phone call from HR saying I needed to come in & sign for a package that had been delivered, and could I come in at 10:30am? I said, sure, and this morning we went out there, about a half hour late (not entirely our fault - traffic was horrible). So I get there & there is a line of people signing for a gift (which was a bunch of Excalibur merchandise). I was prepared to be pissed - they kept me up for this? An Excalibur sweat shirt, ball cap & duffel bag? Bastards.

Anyway, the HR lady sees me & says, "Oh, Janelle, come back here." So I go through the door & she's shuffling me around in the HR office, peeking around corners & into offices & crap. She tells me to have a seat in an empty office & says she has to find the packet. Now I'm thinking, oh, w/her accent, I misunderstood 'packet' for 'package'. Then I happen (well, ok, I'm nosy, whaddaya want - leave me in an empty office...) to see someone's cash turn-in slip in a folder on the desk, along w/notepads & other officious looking things. Someone came & got me, & I see the HR lady disappear around the corner w/what I thought was a tape recorder. I started to get nervous - there have been a lot of managerial meetings involving the legal team going on, and a lot of changes due to MGM's takeover... so I'm standing there while this other woman starts turning me around to look at my sweater - a stalling tactic & she obviously didn't want me looking down that hallway. So I let her fondle my fuzzy Snuffalupagous-fur sweater, and finally they steer me down the hallway. I see a sea of suits behind a slightly open door, and then I saw...


I am 'Simply the Best'!!! There's a banquet tomorrow for all us lucky bastards!

Anyway, after all that nerve-wracking social retardation (when I went through the door I gave the football-player wave "You're number 1, mom!"), hair all fucked up, carrying a bag w/a dirty uniform in it that I didn't have the sense to set down, being filmed - the thing I thought was a tape recorder was actually a video camera... wheeee

We went to check the mail & I have a very small package containing an even smaller envelope. I got my lovely seeds again - Deadly Nightshade, Jimsonweed, and some 5X Salvia divinorum, Diviner's Sage, Ska Maria, Ska Pastoress... the Shepherdess of the wild hills way. And a bonus, something called 'Ice Plant'. I know (well, knew) nothing about Ice Plant, Mesembryanthemum nodiflorum but now I understand that its primary active component, mesembrine, is an SSRI. I'll be putting this stuff into a little bottle & forgetting about it. Paxil was an SSRI and I really don't feel the need to have flourescent lights burning my brain through my eye sockets again, or having my skin hurt because the air is too heavy. I haven't had the Paxil in months and I still have some sensitivity issues - can't stand the way chewing stands, the way certain foods feel in my mouth, the way paper feels against my fingertips... ech.

Many sites, such as the Vaults of Erowid, say that many people don't enjoy the effects of S. divinorum, that it is too hard on them psychically & emotionally. I'm going to be protected in a circle of Salvia officinalis & sweet grass, with some Afro Celts playing softly in the background & Rob watching to make sure I don't take my travels into the physical world. I've got some work to do & some interior doors to unlock, and I'm just hoping my skepticism (it's a SAGE, for cripes sake, Labiatae... it's a cooking spice!) doesn't kill my buzz, so to speak.

We're thinking, after Ed gets a new tank, of maybe trying an indoor greenhouse in Ed's old tank. More of a controlled environment. And I'm going to treat the potting soil for snail eggs before I plant a single thing.

Anyway, back to WoW. Zane the Magnificent is a lvl 23 hunter w/a lvl 23 hecklefang hyaena named Jinx. We pwn Ragefire!!!
perzephone: (the plants)
Two seeds this morning. Created a brief numbing sensation on the tip of my tongue. And intense, incredible, not-to-be-believed pain when I crunched a piece of hard, dried seed & forced it up into the empty hole where a filling used to be... as if that tooth hasn't been bothering me all night. Ah well. Endorphins and seratonin are my friends...
I don't know what affects the seeds may have on me, if any. I'm more interested in mature roots, from plants in their second season.
My outlook is loading mail incredibly slooooowwww. What all did Jeff send me, anyway? Fuckhead.
My friend and prime breeding specimen for her generation seems to look down on anyone who chooses sex for pleasure instead of sex for procreation... With many bows to the Master Therion, this is my power:
I charge you earnestly to come before Me in a single robe and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous! I, Who am all pleasure and purple and drunkenness of inner sense, desire you. Put on the wings and arouse the coiled splendor within you. Come unto Me! At all My meetings with you shall the Priestess say - and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in My secret temple - to Me! To Me! Calling for the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant. Sing the rapturous love sung unto Me! Burn the perfumes! Wear unto Me jewels! Drink to Me, for I love you! I love you! I am the blue-lidded Daughter of Sunset, I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night sky. To Me!
perzephone: (the plants)
aka Jimsonweed, Locoweed, Jamestown Weed, Datura stramonium, Moonflowers, Mothbells, Desert Trumpet, Angel's Trumpet, Devil's Horn, Devil's Trumpet, Dwale, Baneflower...
This particular plant is responsible for about 20 deaths a year in the deserts of the southwest, mostly teenagers looking for a cheap high and meeting a painful death instead. It's a member of the Nightshade family, along w/Deadly Nightshade itself, tomatoes, potatoes, tobacco, eggplant... full of three major toxic alkaloids - hyoscyamine, scopolamine & atropine. Atropine is an antidote for opiate overdose, but there is no antidote for nightshade poisoning. Home of the big three for flying ointments... Medically useful for numerous disorders, once used by Italian women to dilate their pupils to appear more bewitching.. and o so deadly.
Sacred Datura, used by the ecstatic assassins of Kali, the Thugees of India were reputed to be such masters of the plant that they could dose their victims according to how long they wanted them to be unconscious, or how quickly they wanted to die.
My plant ally, the one who came to me so long ago, the Thornapple, the Devil's Bit, it grows on every continent except Antartica in some form, found and used by shamanic cultures all over the world. I've been waiting for my chance to actually have a place where I could grow some, nurture the plants from seed to eventual death...

10:45am or so
Tuesday afternoon I gathered some jimsonweed seedpods. Left tobacco offering.
Thursday morning, I broke the pods open & dumped out the seeds. One pod had a couple of live grubs in it, probably future swallowtails. I looked at them, mildly disgusted, thinking to myself, "Gee, if I ate that grub, I'd probably die." I don't know if the seeds are viable - they look very dried out. I'll probably soak them in warm water for awhile before I attempt planting them. I'm going to take a couple of plastic cups & just fill them w/yard dirt & see how the seeds do, vs. getting potting soil & seeing how those seeds do.
Just from playing w/the pods & getting stuck w/the stickers on them, my right fingertips are kind of numb & tingly.
I ate one seed - dry, slightly bitter, plant-like flavor. No numbness or tingling on the tongue, but also no pain or burning, either, so I'm probably not allergic. The seeds are maybe 2mm across, they look like flat kidney beans, dark brown w/a darker edge.
The smell makes me feel better, just having it around again. That lush, rank green smell... even though I've washed my hands numerous times and dyed my hair today, it's still lingering in my fingernails.
Funny - I've got enough seeds to maybe end the lives of 2 or 3 people... I keep thinking of telling someone this & then offering them some home-made poppyseed bread, just for the reaction...
perzephone: (the plants)
Last night while surfing webshots, I found a photo of the most beautiful Datura plant I've ever seen. It's a variety of D. metel called "Black Currant Swirl". I want my front yard to overflow w/these guys. I found a couple of sites that actually sell ethneogenic plants. I was very impressed.... Now all I have to do is wait til I get paid again.


perzephone: (Default)
Rainbow Serpent Woman

August 2014

101112 13141516


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 08:34 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios