That's all, no more no less. One word meme.
1. Where is your cell phone? Bedroom.
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/lover? Dork.
3. Your hair? Comfortable.
4. Your mother? Dead.
5. Your father? Dead.
6. Your favourite item? Book.
7. Your dream last night? Odd.
8. Your favourite drink? Tea.
9. Your dream car? Solstice.
10. The room you are in? Dark.
11. Your ex? Imaginary.
12. Your fear? Living.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Retired.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Rob.
15. What you're not? Whole.
19. The last thing you did? Typed.
20. What are you wearing? Flowy.
21. Your favourite book? Imajica
22. The last thing you ate? Elavil.
23. Your life? Ephemeral.
24. Your mood? Annoyed.
25. Your friends? Serpents.
26. What are you thinking about right now? Sex. (Thanks, whoever I stole this from :P)
7. Your car? Truck.
28. What are you doing at the moment? Typing.
29. Your summer? Fiery.
30. Your relationship status? Married.
31. What is on your tv? Darkness.
32. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier.
33. Last time you cried? Moons.
34. School? Skipped!
I'm currently working on my Web Development project, and I think I gave myself more tedious busywork than I intended. I wish I could get away w/using PageMaker or DreamWeaver or some other web design program. I finally decided on an Insider's Guide to Las Vegas, with mostly tips for choosing a hotel & enjoying your choice. One page is a directory, which is basically a list of hotels from the What'sOn magazine, including addresses, basic location, phone numbers & links to the web pages for the individual hotels, along w/some shopping, attractions, dining, etc. You get the bland, basic picture. I have discovered, though, that making tables is boring. Especially when it's got 84 little boxes to fill in. It's all so very, very repetitious & cut/paste is only good for one thing at a time. I'd like a macro that just inserts non-breaking spaces into my lines for me. And line-breaks, too. Little buttons I could push that just say "Insert Non-Breaking Space" & "Insert Line Break". And I wish that my notepad would auto-fill in the rest of the tag for hyper-links, not just being able to copy/paste web addresses & having to add all the other crap myself. For some reason, my table is also off-center to my background. I've got a narrow margin on the left & a wide margin on the right.
We pretty much gave up our entire tax refund so I could get this knee surgery - and we still are going to owe an ass-load of cash. Our credit cards are constantly maxed out & I'm taking time off work, too, which means short paychecks when I go back. But I just never say anything to Jody other than, "Sorry I can't help, hon". If I complained even once, she'd launch into an endless tirade about Rob not working, and I hear enough of that crap from his mother. Me & Rob are at this odd standstill. We'll never get ahead, and I never put forth any effort to save money because I feel like if I show him how disciplined I can be with money, he'll have even more of a reason to stay at home on the couch. I just always complain to him about the bills being so high, wondering where the money goes, etc... and when he talks about getting out of here, I tell him it'll probably never happen because we just can't afford it. I've even mentioned the possibility of us giving up & agreeing to buy this house from his mom because we're probably going to be stuck here til she dies. In fact, she'll probably outlive us both so we'll just be stuck paying her rent til we die, but at least my social security & pension from the Union should be enough for Rob to get by on til then (as long as I go first). I know, it's a lot of passive-aggressive gameplaying, and nothing ever gets accomplished, but I just don't feel like being a nag. Nag, nag, nag. Go to work, go to work, go to work... nagging til the day we're both bitter and hateful, and still not being able to get away from each other.
I did have an odd dream last night (well, yesterday afternoon, back on the grave shedule after a week of drugged hiatus). I was working in a small convenience store. No one expected me to wipe down counters or stock or count cigarettes, so I know it was a dream (I worked one day in a Rebel gas station - oy!), but this woman (who I think was Jody) came in to buy cigarettes. She was bitching that we didn't have her brand & she only had 60 silver, when the packs we did have were 1 gold, 60 silver. (Obviously, Warcraft has colored my monetary system to an extent). Anyway, she hollered out the door to some guy in a car that not only did we not have her brand, but we were overcharging her for the ones we did have & she needed more money. I remember thinking that out of all the horrible polyester work uniforms I've ever worn, this gas station's was the most comfortable because it was basically an oversized smock & black cotton biker shorts.
Every time I've called or talked to Jody in the past coupla weeks, she immediately launches into this tirade about not having any money, how their bank account is being closed down, how their car is going to get repossessed, they have no food or groceries, she's lost a bunch of weight because she's starving so Brad can eat... and I keep telling her, "Sorry, I'm broke, too". (I'd have no problem going & buying them some groceries, but I'm kind of incapacitated right now & Rob hasn't gathered up the balls to go to the grocery store himself yet). Then she starts talking about wanting to go back to school to get a psychology degree... but of course, that's on her list of many things she can't afford. I don't think at this point she could even do the work, especially not with on-line classes. Since she's been taking all these muscle relaxants & pain killers, most of the time she's even more incoherent than she's always been, she's gotten shaky and she can barely spell or type. She needs so much help just living her daily life - she needs a nursemaid or something, and neither me nor Terry can give her what she really needs. Yeah, grabbing onto Rob like he was some sort of flotation device to get me out of her house was not the best one of my decisions, but thinking about it now, there's a strong possibility that I'd still be living with Jody, only now I'd be taking care of her full-time. She'd also probably still be living with Tom, & Jamie & Miranda would probably both be in the big, sinking ship with them, instead of making it out alive to have their own lives.
I'm just getting tired of gambling, really. This knee surgery became even more of a gamble once the doctor decided on the microfracture method instead of the transplant. All the time & money I'm dumping into school is seeming more & more like a bad investment. I don't know if I'll be able to recoup my spending once I have the degree... so many places want more than a piece of paper, they want experience backing it up, and I'm stuck at the Excalibur, where the only experience I have is in Excel. I'm still getting older, too, and if my leg doesn't heal right, I'll be crippled on top of it. At least the rest of my body isn't so sore & 'sprung' from the crutches.
Ah well, dark nights of the soul always happen on Tuesday mornings at 5am. Unfortunately, Blizzard started weekly maintenance at 3 this morning, so my dark night of the soul started a little earlier than normally scheduled. Back to "a href'ing" my way across Las Vegas.