According to this blog
, June is International Pagan Values Blogging Month. I am going to participate, even if it's just one post.
I ran into a snag before I even got started though. I honestly don't know what my values are. Seriously. Probably because I don't really know the definition of 'value'. I always thought it was along the line of ethics and morals, but I could be way off here. And once I figure out what my values are, do they have anything to do with my being Pagan or did I develop them independently of my faith?
According to the dictionary, a value
is a belief or beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment (either for or against something). A moral
is a decision based on belief of what is right or wrong, and an ethic
is a theory or a system of moral values.
Ok, now that I know what a value is, what do I value, and does it relate to my religion, (if one can call Paganism of the sort that I follow a 'religion')?
Wellllll... let me pick an easy one to start off with. My sexual values.
I'm going to use the word sacred
a lot. Sacred
means dedicated in some way to religious usage, entitled to veneration or worship, and secured against violation or desecration.
I believe that sex is sacred, plain and simple. It is the ultimate gift a person can give to another person or persons. When a person engages in sex with another person or persons, they become deified and are the earthly avatars of the driving creative forces of the Universe.
- I believe in consensual sex. Two or more people who mutually agree to have sex with one another. Age is not
so important to me as maturity and being in control of one's faculties. To clarify - a child being
manipulated into agreeing to sex with an adult is not
in control of their faculties. Same with
someone who is drunk or under the influence of mind-altering substances. I do have a lot of drunken sex,
but I'm not in my right mind at that moment so it's probably wrong to go along with me. Although I would
get pissed off if anyone turned my drunk ass down for sex.
- Sex is not a weapon.
- If I'm pissed at my husband (or any other partner or partners I may have), I do not withhold sex from
him (or her or them).
- It is wrong to be a 'cocktease', deliberately and intentionally leading someone on sexually and then
backing out at the last minute.
- I do not use it to manipulate someone into giving me something I want or use it to make someone do
something for me. At least, not any more. In the past, I have acted in this manner and I know I was in
- Sex is not inherently bad, sinful, wrong or disgusting.
- Genitalia are not gross or dirty. They are sacred.
- Nakedness is sacred - we were born naked. There is nothing wrong with being naked. The human body is not
gross, dirty or disgusting in & of itself. I do realize that there are people who I don't want to see
naked, and I know there are people who don't want to see me naked, and that's a matter of personal
preference, but honestly, I can handle seeing people of all shapes, sizes, colors, textures and
hirsuteness naked without forgetting that the body is indeed a temple.
- Having sex with yourself is as much of an expression of self-love and self-worship is it is a sacred act.
- Rape is a profane act. I know rape does not have so much to do with sex as it does to show power over
another living being. Because sex is sacred to me, hearing of those who use sex in this manner sickens me.
Rapists carry a taint that cannot be washed away by any act of atonement.
- Considering that to me, the body, genitals and sex are sacred, to me, plastic surgery strictly to enhance
perceived attractiveness is akin to desecration. I admit, I think about it - especially facial peels and a
boob lift, but I don't foresee myself ever succumbing to that occasional urge. (It's a tad ironic, because
Rob's listening to Seether's Fake It
on youtube right now, lol). On the other hand, if a person
feels they are in the wrong body... or have a dysmorphic disorder, or they just can't stand themselves, I
believe in reincarnation and maybe their memories of a previous life as a much differently gendered or
differently-appearing person have carried over. If the body the soul inhabits is torment to the soul,
remodel the temple by all means.
- I adhere to the idea that transgendered, transsexual, transvestites, hermaphrodites are a little more
sacred than the rest of us. Yes, I've appropriated that belief from many indigenous American peoples.
- Homosexuality and bisexuality is not a sin, dirty, wrong, disgusting, or an abomination. I have met Wiccans
and a few other Pagans who feel that gays do not have a place in rituals because 'it takes a God and a
Goddess, not two Gods or two Goddesses' to do the Great Rite. Bullshit. I'm not saying this just because
I'm bisexual - I've suffered discrimination by some gays because they believe bis are trying to benefit
from their struggle (or are just playing around for kicks) - but because every person has a mixture of
masculine and feminine within them. Physical gender is only a part of the whole story.
- I have no beef with polygamy or polyamory or swinging. I've participated in polyamory and swinging. The
more the merrier, I say. But, I believe that all parties should be comfortable with the arrangements. Rob
became uncomfortable with me fucking other men, so out of respect for him, I don't do it anymore. I do not
believe that humans are meant to be monogamous, and I do chafe at the restriction, but I am true to my
word. Certain things have occurred to test me recently, and I will have to see how that all unfolds.
- I like porn and sex in advertising, but I do think the exploitation of the body to sell a product is a
little like selling indulgences. It's in poor taste. But, if a person has the opportunity to use their body
to make money, I believe it is their right to do so. I would do it if I had the body for it. In ancient
times, the temple priestesses were also prostitutes and there was no difference there - the sacred
prostitutes were sex therapists, confessors, healers, oracles and servants of the Gods. Today's prostitutes
can be all that and more, even if they don't know they have the power to do so.
- So, I know everyone's wondering, what about the BIG questions? Babies and abortions?
- Since I learned of what an abortion is, and what pro-life and pro-choice mean, I've been pro-choice. If
you have sex and end up pregnant, you have the right to choose to terminate the pregnancy. Period. I'm
not even going into when life begins, third trimester abortions, paternal consent, parental consent. You
get pregnant & don't want the kid, you should have the right to get rid of it. Personally, I think
parents should be able to abort teenagers, but that's just me. I'm from the 'I brought you into this
world, I will take you out' school of parental models.
- For Gods' sakes, use protection. Not just to prevent abortions, but to prevent diseases from desecrating
the temple. Be responsible for yourself and others. Remember, you are sacred so protect the holy ground.
- Remember, just because we can, doesn't mean we should, populate 100% of the earth's surface. Other living
creatures need homes and resources, too.
- Sex should be had mindfully and with awareness. Know what you are doing - you are embodying the creative
force of the Universe. Treat yourself and your partner(s) with reverence. Enter into it with mirth and
seriousness. Bless and be blessed by the power of the rite.