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Merry Solstice, and many happy Returns ;)

I could not partake of the moonlight or the eclipse because we are getting the most rain we've had since 2005. Which we need desperately.

Our biggest issue with rain in Vegas isn't really the Californians, it's oil. It rains so infrequently that when it does, it floats all the oils that have been dropped on the highways & streets to the surface, creating a network of Slip-n-Slides. It's the worst right when it starts to rain heavily because the roads get inundated quickly and don't start draining until enough rain has flowed to wash away the tiny dams of dirt and debris. Last night, on the way to work, it was raining and visibility on the highway was ugly, even though the roads were relatively clear.



We have this piece of freeway interchange pictured above, affectionately known as the Spag(hetti) Bowl. It's where the I-95 merges with the I-15. There is a curve that causes more accidents than I've seen a curve in a highway ever cause, and during a rainstorm there is always at least 3 or 4 cars that bounce off the wall to the right. Last night it was a big silver pick-up truck. Happened right in fucking front of us. We could see the driver panicking as his truck whipped around to face us before spinning back into the wall. He was able to recover enough to pull into the shoulder, but we couldn't pull over safely on the curve itself. Lucky for us, a NV Highway Patrol was stopped about 100 feet past the curve at the fender bender of yet another unlucky driver, and we pulled over so Rob could report the accident to him. The HP called it in, took Rob's name/number & we got back to getting me to work.

Now, the weird thing is... shortly before we reached the Spaghetti Bowl, something began knocking loudly and alarmingly on the front passenger car door. On my door. I don't know what the fuck it was, but Rob slowed down to hear it clearer, and the knocking was hard and lasted about 30 seconds (Chelsie didn't even respond to it, which is odd, but she's nervous in the car when we're on the freeway & tends to lay in the back seat with her eyes squeezed shut). I had my right arm propped along the windowsill, and my foot propped on the inside bulge of the wheel well, and I wasn't banging on the door in time to music or tapping my foot as I am wont to do. I couldn't tell if we'd lost a hubcap, and there's no trim along the sides of the car that would have come loose. From what I could see, nothing was flapping up from under the car, either. But I could feel the knocking vibrating the door under my arm & against the side of my sweater. I did see a big shiny silver pick-up truck cruise past us, heading into the curve of the on ramp, though.

I tend to read into these things, so yes... I think something caught Rob's attention & made him slow down, just enough, so we weren't side-by-side with that silver pick-up when it spun out & hit the wall. In fact, there wasn't any traffic around it.

Thank you, Great Mystery. Your ways are indeed Great and Mysterious.
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Sun God, Sun God, He's a real fun God, Sun God, Sun God, Ra Ra Ra!!!

Dies Natalis Solis Invictus!

Many blessings of health and prosperity on this most blessed day! Happy Yule! (Or Beltane, for you people on the other side)

Rain Rain

Dec. 24th, 2008 11:40 pm
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Thank you, Great Mystery, for the rain.

Even though I don't do much for Yule, I do always feel like the whole world is being reborn on this night. The peace and quiet waiting stillness that falls over the land is deep as snow and wide as the sky. There is a feeling of anticipation, a held breath, a pause between notes in the celestial music.

It is such a tender time.

I wish you all peace and wellness, tonight and in the coming year.

All my love,
Janelle/Perze
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Well, the computer I use at work is infected w/some kind of virus... and I think I broke my foot the other night. I just noticed tonight because Chelsie stepped on that foot & it hurt like a bitch. I took my shoe off & the whole top of my foot is bruised & there's a broken blood vessel in there.

I do not want to go to QuickCare on Christmas Eve. Or Christmas, for that matter.

Speaking of Christmas, I got a plush talking Murloc from Rob. I got him a throw blanket that has a pocket on the top for a remote control & one at the bottom for his feet :)

I will post pictures of my murloc so y'all can see what the heck it is. He only knows one word, tho... "Mrglglglglgl!!!"


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I've got to apologize to anyone reading this who is expecting a card or gift this year...

Cards will be late, gifts will not be forthcoming. We are so incredibly broke. I didn't think the pay cut I took when I started w/the County was going to have this much of an affect on the finances, but $2 an hour can make a big difference at the end of the month.

It's weird that a part of me wants to go back to the Excalibur, simply because the abuse was so familiar and I much prefer working nights to day shifts. I was also hoping my spirits would lift a little since Yule, but no...

We've started letting Chelsie stay out of my bathroom at night. Her nightly pooping has stopped and I have a puppy in my bed all night. At least my bed isn't up against a wall where Chelsie can brace herself against the wall & push me out of my bed like Ripley used to do. It's also extremely unfair because when my alarm goes off & I have to get up, the lazy beast stays in bed. She won't even get up to go pee. This morning Chelsie stayed in my bed & Rob staggered down the hallway to join her. Rotten bastards!

Yes, as a matter of fact I was raised by wolves and I am one of those people who like sleeping in a bed full of dog, even one who is a space-hog and sleeps in. I want another dog because the bed seems kind of empty with just one. I would have been perfectly happy as the dog-groom, sleeping in a stable full of hounds & horses, warm & fragrant with hay.
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Good morning, everyone. You know what day it is?

That's right!

Happy Winter Solstice! Dies Natalis Solis Invictus!!!

solstice at stonehenge

Sun God, Sun God, He's a real fun God, Sun God, Sun God, Ra Ra Ra!!!
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Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you......Tis the Season.

HO HO HO!!!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on how awkwardly the gift is shaped

2. Real tree or Artificial? Fiber optic tree

3. When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving

4. When do you take the tree down? January 2nd

5. Do you like eggnog? Sometimes

6 . Favorite gift received as a child? A 3’ tall Godzilla that walked & roared

7. Hardest person to buy for? The in-laws

8. What is your favorite Christmas Album? The Lost Christmas Eve – Trans-Siberian Orchestra

9. Do you have a nativity scene? The Goddess births the Sun every year around this time… all I have to do is look up at the sky during the daytime & voila, there’s the nativity scene. Dies Natalis Solis Invictus!!! (Sun God, Sun God, He’s a real fun God, Sun God, Sun God, Ra Ra Ra!)

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Snail mail

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? These gods-awful socks… they were red & green & had separate toes & each toe had a Christmas ornament on it…

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story & A Nightmare Before Christmas

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? June or July

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Who, me, regift people? Never!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mincemeat Pie

16. Lights on the tree? The whole tree is fiber optic

17. Favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells as done by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Yes

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither, no tree-toppers… my fiber optic tree is truly diminutive & the crown would bend or the whole thing would fall over

21. Open the presents Christmas eve or Christmas day? Christmas Eve

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The Christmas music & displays that started getting old by Thanksgiving since they’d already been up before Hallowe’en

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Purple, green & gold… that’s right… all my Yules look like Mardi Gras

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Heh, sushi. Or grilled mahi mahi.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? An external 250G hard-drive

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? Dunno

27. Who is least likely to respond to this? Everyone else

I am so stuffed right now. We had our holiday party at the Main Street Station's buffet. I tried manapua which was not too bad. Everything was fresh & had good flavor - I've got to see if I can talk the old folks into trying it out sometime.

Tomorrow we have to go to Tania's house for a 'tree-trimming' party tomorrow. I'm hoping it's short. I got a bottle of wine from our party gift exchange extraveganza so I at least have something I can bring along. I wouldn't really care about it because we're always stuck spending a day w/the relatives, but if it's as cold as it has been, I'm going to have to leave Chelsie locked up in the bathroom & I'm not looking forward to that mess.
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So, Rob got me a gift, but we're not having our 'ChrismaHannaYuleKwanzakah' celebration til Friday when I can get out & get him a gift.

Rob has put something small in a large box. The box weighs a whopping 11 lbs. It's hard to pick up off the floor, but it feels bookish. I've got some books that weigh 6 to 7 lbs., so I know what a big heavy book feels like. He told me I could shake the box from side to side, but I can't turn it upside down or flip it onto its side. I have two 5lb dumb bells, and one is missing. I've deduced that one of those dumb bells is in the box. I also got a piece of extremely thick black cardboard w/the mammoth painting, and it's been sitting here (the cardboard, not the painting) next to the couch for a coupla weeks now... This morning I noticed it was gone & there were broken pieces of the cardboard in the garbage. So I know the box has a dumb bell & a piece (or pieces) of heavy black cardboard in it. Rob has admitted to the cardboard, mainly because I freaked him out when I noticed there were pieces of it in the garbage. He asked me when I joined the crew of CSI... So anyway, guessing what else is in the box has become far more entertaining than wondering about what he got me for the holidays. I think there's another box in the box, too. I'm also wondering where Rob found all the boxes.
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Merry Christmas to my Australian friends, happy belated Yule to everyone & early Merry Christmas to my American friends.

Love y'all :)
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Went to work last night & made out the Yule cards on my lunchbreak.

I do sincerely apologize to all who will be receiving their hollyday greetings somewhat late. I have no valid excuse for my delay. Usually I'm full of holiday spirit - the Sun is back, long live the Sun an' all, but this year I just don't have it in me.

There is no Sol for me. My soul is still dark, I am still tired, and the only solace I have is a video game and that still, quiet space inside me that I can still find sometimes.

I think I'm just going to have to admit it to myself. I have a heart condition, and it's ruining my life. Just don't tell Rob. kthxbai

Ahhhh...

Dec. 24th, 2006 08:24 am
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Let me reiterate again the pleasures of reading when it's something other than a history book. Finished Lisey's Story and am now working on the prequel to Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Rising. Sometimes when reading about Hannibal Lecter, it's hard to believe he's not a real serial killer. Of course, most real serial killers are not so witty, charming and urbane. If I was male, I would probably be a serial killer. Or at the very least, a con. Probably not even an ex-con, but still a con. I'd be the one inside bars writing lonely-heart letters to women so they would put money on my books & send me amateur smut. 

Rob's mom is making the yearly Christmas salma (spelling questionable). It's basically meatballs made w/rice & cooked in sauerkraut. Good eatin', and relatively diet friendly. Despite my booze night of last week, I am still on my diet. It's easier on the nights when I'm working than the nights I'm at home, but I went out & bought a bunch of vegetables for me to use as snack food instead of all the carbohydrates that are always laying around. The hardest thing to avoid is soda... I've been out of bottled water for my iced tea machine, so... (I cannot stand anything w/artificial sweeteners in it). Snacking really isn't my problem though - my problem is making myself eat more than once or twice a day. Who wants to spend their entire day eating? The prep time alone is ridiculous. Fast food salads are freaking expensive, too - I got on of Jack-inna-Box's mandarin chicken salads. It was like, $8 & did not live up to its promise of Romaine lettuce & spring greens - nope, that was pure iceberg. Something about iceberg lettuce that's been sitting in a plastic container too long makes it smell like garbage. Same thing w/heated iceberg - I never get lettuce & tomatoes on my burgers because it just smells like trash. I had bought some celery, raisins, peanut butter, bananas... stuff I don't have to spend much time on. Got some ranch dip & prepared baby carrots. Been trying to eat more nuts & olives. It just seems like a high proportion of my time is spent thinking about what I'm eating & why.

Went to the ortho guy last week - he asked me if I knew I had a fracture in my left leg. I was like, "Just now?" It confused me until I realized it was from the car accident, but looking at the x-ray of the old break was gnarly. I don't remember ever seeing the break in the thin bone clearly. I could see how the thin bone had twisted & sheared through at an angle & the resulting lump of calcium that had formed around the break. Lower, the main bone in my shin just has a clean break in it with the calcium scar around it. It looks so lumpy. My bones are so thick - they look like a Neanderthal's; thick, heavy, slightly bowed and gnarled in places like oak limbs - even the ortho guy said he'd be surprised if I ended up w/osteoporosis (spelling also questionable). Some time after the holidays I'll be going for another MRI to see if the damage has progressed. The doctor said that there probably wasn't going to be any considerable changes from the last time I was there, but because my knees had given out on me from time to time, I may have basically given myself a muscle-to-brain complex. Like I've tricked myself into expecting my knees to give out, so they do. My right thigh joint has a chip in it that wasn't there before so it's causing my right knee to kind of catch.

Looking back on my year last night after hearing So This is Christmas - why, why, why? I've accomplished nothing except 9 credits. Raised my GPA by .02. Whoopee. Got a new snake tank that is still unfinished because I can't get down on my knees.
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A note to my self: avoid grocery stores on the Solstice. Especially at 5 o'clock. 5 o'clock seems to be a bad time to shop anyway because the lines are usually absolutely enormous. But 5 o'clock on the longest night of the year was just downright creepy.

Why do people always ask me things in grocery stores and department stores? I wasn't even in my Excalibwhore uniform. I was looking all scraggy in my jeans & baggy green sweater & leather coat, my hair sticking out from my ponytail... Rob's got his 'oh-my-Gods-I'm-in-a-grocery-store' dumbfounded gape on... and suddenly someone's asking me if I know where the fresh cranberries are. I'm like, 'Uhhh... usually they aren't fresh - usually they're in bags'. The woman proceeds to tell me, "Yeah, fresh cranberries!" She roams off once she realizes that I'm clueless but hunts me down to tell me, "They'll have them in stock tomorrow!" Ok, well, I'll be sure to run down to Smith's first thing to get them... Then, we're in the soup aisle & some old hacking coughing woman is picking my brain about the evils of soup in metal cans. She apparently 'can't do metal' & absolutely has to eat her canned soup out of the plastic microwaveable cans. I'm like, "Well, that sure narrows your choices I guess" & then she tells me she never eats canned soup, but she's too sick to cook any from scratch. "Gee, that's too bad. Good luck, there." Finally, over picking through Smith's limited meat selections & this woman who literally only comes up to my boobs starts asking me about the prices on the meat stickers... Which is about the fifth time I've been in Smith's over the past month & had to explain to some stranger the regular price vs. the 'Fresh Values' price & what, exactly, the price-per-unit means & why is it even relevant. Now, our Smith's is ghetto. It doesn't even stay open 24-hours. There are usually homeless folk roaming around on cold nights, just trying to stay warm. Whatever, I can deal, I know how to tell people, "Sorry, I only carry plastic" & they leave you alone. But tonight there was an unusually large proportion of space cadets roaming around in there. People just stopped in their tracks, staring aimlessly, blankly, into space. You could tell they weren't comparison shopping because they were looking through the shelves, not at them. Even our checker spent more time mumbling, 'Remember to tell people Merry Christmas' than interacting w/her customers - and usually the blonde lady is pretty swift. She finally finished her Merry Christmas mantra & said it fully out loud to me, which caught me off guard because I had kind of gotten caught in her personal loop.

But, we made it home alive & are well-fed now & about to settle down with M. Night Shamalamalan's <i>Lady In the Water</i>. He's ok, even for a Scientologist.

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Brightest Blessings in the New Year. Much love and light to everyone.
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Hee hee - I'm at work right now. Someone left their computer logged on. We're listening to Howard Stern on satellite radio, too. I've just got to remember to clear the cache before we go home in the morning. The guy who played Star Trek's Sulu (George Takei) is on the Howard show pretty regularly now I guess. His manner of speech is so awkward & affected.

I'm soooo tired of this place. It's been a long, harrowing week. But later today I'm gonna go take my math final, and that, finally will be over. And then when I get up, I'm going to get drunk.

My diet isn't going so well. I haven't had any soda for a week or so, but last night it was Pizza Hut delivery. Rob was up literally all day. He went over to the folks' home to help them install a security door. Of course, Rob's mom is dissatisfied with it & she'll be making Anton take it down again by Friday or so. They don't understand that houses in Vegas are made of chicken wire, styrofoam & chicken wire - not 1/2" thick plywood & solid timber like they're used to in New York. Even though they've lived out here for 11 years.

He was over there til noon... and then Rob went Yule shopping. Now, I don't give Rob an allowance. I don't give him money to buy me presents. So basically, from the beginning of each year, he saves change. Whenever we pull money out of the bank, he keeps the change from buying gas, or picking food up, or wherever he can scrounge it from. He also keeps all the money his folk's give him for odd jobs, and anything he sells.

I've been telling him I don't want anything. I finally told him to get me a pony. He came home from all his chores & running around yesterday & crawled into bed with me. I was awake enough for him to tell me he went Yule/birthday/anniversary shopping (since all three fall within a month of one another). And then we proceeded to embark upon our usual yearly game of 20 Questions. I kept guessing 'Is it a pony?'. He kept saying no, but kept implying there was a limited warranty on one of the items, so I would need to open it soonest. I assumed it was because the pony was in a box & needed air. Anyway, he started getting frustrated with me, so I finally said, "An iPod, a digital camera and an electric guitar!" He got very quiet so I knew I had hit at least one out of three. Then he threw me off track by saying that he'd be surprised if I could use one of them as a dildo. So I guessed, 'An iPod, a pony & a Magic Bullet!" He replied that he'd like to get me a pony to use as a dildo, but I didn't have time to explore that avenue.

Anyway, my diligent, hard-scrounging husband went out yesterday & got me an MP3 player, a digital camera... and a Magic Bullet set. I feel like a total schmuck because I got him a video game, a miniature garden/terrarium thing w/carnivorous plants in it... and I thought we were going out to dinner for our anniversary. He does have a pretty impressive collection of swords circled in a BudK catalog... but I'm broke, hah! Ah well. The holidays never work out like you plan.
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Heh heh... C. W. McCall is soooo politically incorrect. And so very, very funny. It never gets old, especially being the daughter of a trucker. The Blue Collar Comedy Tour has nothing on this guy. In fact, I think Foxworthy could get some new material.

'When I say put a rock under that tire, I mean a ROCK!'

I wish I could find 'Comin' Back for More' on Limewire. Harley's had me listening to Johnny Cash all last week. This is stuff my folks listened to regular, & I guess it's my guilty pleasure - the storytellers of country music. Johnny Cash, W. C. McCall, Tom T. Hall... 'Sneaky Snake' is possibly the bestest song ever written.

Of course, I am supposed to be in bed right now. I can tell I'm getting bronchitis by the feeling in my chest & the cough that keeps sneaking up on me. But here I sit, taking advantage of the fact that Rob is gone to his mom's to work on a door & also he's doing some Yule shopping, even though I keep telling him I don't want anything. Instead I sit here, rambling through my music collection. Now it's The Talking Heads' Remain in Light, home of 'The Great Curve'...

The world moves on a woman's hips
The world moves and it swivels and bops
The world moves on a woman's hips
The world moves and it bounces and hops


I think I've just got that going-to-be-sick-soon restlessness. Not tired, but exhausted. Always looking ahead. I've lost my center, my ability to just live in the now.

Equality

Dec. 5th, 2006 06:15 pm
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For history, I had to watch a newsreel on Martin Luther King, jr.'s I Have A Dream speech. Listening to him, one can understand exactly how powerful an old-time gospel preacher's voice can become. MLK was an incredible orator - when the camera panned over the audience, you could see how many grown men were brought to tears, how many women had that rapt bordering-on-sexual expression on their faces as they watched him. The language he used made me squirm inside, though. Every time he said 'negro' (only you could hear the capital 'N' - 'Negro') I winced. Every time he said something like, 'the Negro man must throw off the shackles of oppression', I wondered to myself, 'what about the Negro woman?' It's just further proof to me about the sacredness of words & the innate power of language. Somehow, the Spanish word for 'black', 'negro', has become a symbol of political incorrectness.

It got me thinking, about 'equality', though. I do not think that everyone actually wants to be treated just like everyone else. I think people want their individuality celebrated and respected. I mean, yes, women want to receive the same pay as men for performing the same job. Blacks want to be able to eat in the same restaurants & ride in the same section of the train as whites. Other than some of my throwback Tennessee relatives, no one wants segregation - it's just a stupid, inefficient concept.

However... when it comes to something like Affirmative Action - does anyone really want a promotion just because they are a minority/female/disabled? Or do they want a promotion because they honestly deserve it & worked hard to get it? I'm sure it pisses people off when they have busted their asses in school, gotten good grades, put in all the applications, done the footwork... and someone else gets admitted to a college because they're a different color or gender - and they can't speak English coherently. I imagine that when Affirmative Action went into affect, it may have been the best solution to a problem that was widespread. Black people couldn't get the same jobs as white people because they were black. Women weren't honestly considered for promotions because they were women. Affirmative Action also leads to abuse - my sister tells her kids to put their ethnicity as 'Native American or Alaskan' on applications because they are both maybe 1/8 Native American. She tells me I should take advantage of it, too, because our mom was French Canadien, which has that mixture of indigenous Native Canadien in it. Just for the record, I don't - when I have to fill out the racial profile on a County government application, I put 'Caucasian/white'. I don't know what tribe my mother's people originally came from, but I know that they are far, far removed from their heritage, except maybe for one cousin I have who married a Blackfoot & lives on a reservation.

I'm not griping for my own sake - I don't go out for promotions to managerial positions because I prefer working in my Cubicle o'Doom rather than being on the front lines. I like the notion that I technically make more than the supervisors because they're salaried, work 9-hour shifts & have to pay their own insurance costs, while I work a 40-hour week, get OT pay, I pay my Union dues & the Union pays for my insurance... it's a pretty sweet deal, and I don't have to deal w/the angry public.

I think I'm just kind of annoyed right now. All this crap about Wal-Mart's return to 'Merry Christmas' is getting them sued for cultural insensitivity... so they asked their employees to visually profile patrons to determine the proper holiday greeting. I'm a Union member, so I'm not even supposed to shop at Wal-Mart, but damned if I'm going to pay Target's prices - or try to find a K-Mart anymore. If I owned a retail outlet here in America, you know what I'd do? I'd stop making a big deal out of any holiday. I'd take the Jehovah's Witness stance on the celebration of holidays. If I wanted to throw a sale because my store was in a second-quarter slump, I'd throw a sale. Black Friday is fine - it's the day after Thanksgiving, biggest shopping day of the year for Americans. Thanksgiving also isn't a religious holiday - it's a civic holiday. Same with Labor Day, Memorial Day, Veteran's Day. Veteran's & Memorial Days are even kind of controversial because, well, there are people who protest wars & those days memorialize veterans & active service people. Labor Day could be considered controversial, too - it's a celebration of the worker, and in places like Germany it's kind of like Hallowe'en, allied w/May Day/Walpurgisnacht celebrations. It's a day that commemorates the freedom of the working class & leaves the Big Business employer feeling left out. In the modern economy, celebrating cultural differences is great for business, but Gods forbid you make anyone feel left out or ignored. Do a Mother's Day sale - well, what about single fathers who have to go grocery shopping on Mother's Day? Father's day sales leave out single moms. Grandparent's Day - well, what about moms & dads? There is no 'Children's Day', except maybe for Christmas, but Christmas is a veritable socio-religious timebomb for retail outlets. How does Christmas sales & decor make Jewish people feel? Or Hindus? Or Satanists? Do you know how many people I've seen playing WoW who misspell the Lord of Darkness' name in their character names? I've seen at least one 'Sonofsanta' on each server on which I've played. Not to mention 'Santaswhelp' or 'Santasspawn'... I always feel bad for dyslexic Satanists during Christmas. It's probably quite confusing.

I'd better stop now. I don't quite remember where I was going with this when I started.
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I'm reading this 'Healing Your Past With Soul Retrieval' book. It's got interesting concepts. Talks about renegotiating contracts you've made with yourself, with other souls, and even with God. Obviously, the author is both kind of New-Age Christian & into the Grail Cycle. He talks about the original fall from grace & about the story of Parsifal being metaphors for the process of soul retrieval.

I started thinking about it seriously. I cannot honestly say that I see the story of Adam & Eve being cast from the Garden of Eden as a stand-alone story. It's become blended in with so many other myths, legends & metaphors. On one level, it's the tale of the change from a hunter/gatherer society to that of an agricultural society. In another way, well, the Serpent is Gnosis. Speaks to Eve, the primordial female, tells her to eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil. Only let's shorten it to just 'The Tree of Knowledge'. Mmm, that's good fruit. The western JudeoChristian's god is mainly omniscient - all-knowing. When Adam & Eve ate that apple/tomato/pomegranate/fruit they became one with the god of the garden. Eve is the gateway to Gnosis. Adam partakes of her knowledge of the god of the garden in a holy communion. They didn't fall - they flew. The Serpent, Lucifer as a Light-Bringer, an Enlightener. Like Raven, like Crow, like Prometheus - he steals fire from heaven and gives it to humans. The all-illuminating Gnosis.

So many archetypes - Serpent, Tree, Man, Woman, Garden, Fruit. Lilith, Asherah & Ishtar were all associated with Trees, Fruits and Serpents. The medicine-man's staff, the Caduceus - Serpents wrapped around a rod - the Serpent & the Tree. When you cut open an apple in the right way, it reveals a five-pointed star. Cut open a pomegranate & it's an ovary, full of seeds, full of eggs. Same goes for a tomato - cut one way, it reveals the five-pointed star, but it's also an ovary, like a pomegranate.

I get all these symbols and archetypes floating around in my brain whenever I think about the story of Adam & Eve. None of it equates with sin to me. Nothing seems dirty or wrong. The western JudeoChristian god didn't cast Adam & Eve out of the garden out of anger - he did it because that's what you do when chicks learn to fly. You kick 'em out of the nest. They became knowledgeable, they raised up to an equal level with their god... and he set them free. Knowing what they did, they were a bit reluctant. They knew what was on the other side of that wall - the great big world, full of Pagans and lions and bears, oh my. So, sensing their eagerness to stay all-wise and all-knowing in their cozy nest of honey and ambrosia, their god said, 'Get the hell outta my house, ya bums!' He also told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'. Now, if you are really pissed at your creations, you smash them into the ground (or eat them) while muttering obscenities, like the Titans, or piss them into nothingness again like a drunken Coyote playing with mud. You don't tell them to go out & have kids.

At work, there is an office door covered in Excalibur stationery, and I walked past it a few times, trying to resist the influence. A bunch of people had added Christmas/holiday greetings to said door. Some tasteful, some in other languages, some kind of stupid... in the middle is a big heart with the words 'Jesus is Lord' in it. When I first saw it, I thought to myself, "Jesus is Lord, huh? His Mother must be so proud." I laughed out loud to an empty hallway. I got my own joke without intending it to be a joke. Yes, I'm sure His Mother is proud - He's gone home to Her already. He'll be back in about a month - Jesus, Dionysus, Horus, Bacchus, Attis, Tammuz... They'll all be back. Towards the bottom, I drew a big yellow sun with orange rays. I wrote in bold green highlighter 'Blessed Yule' & added 'Dies Natalis Solis Invictus' in blue-green sharpie. I'm not expecting it to be there when I come in tonight. Maybe someone will take the time to look up the Latin. I thought about adding a pentagram to the middle of the sun, but I realized, nah, Old Sol is enough.

There was never any Fall. The garden has a hidden gate. It's the gateway to the Summerlands, to the Elysian Fields, to Sha'ol, to the subterranean depths where the Goddess sleeps with Her son, Her lover, Her brother, til Spring.
perzephone: (Default)
Saw the funniest thing this morning - a few people were picketing a BestBuy store we drove by. They had signs saying 'BestBuy Banned Christmas' (I'm assuming in response to BestBuy's decision to maintain their 'Happy Holidays' policy), & one of the picketers was dressed as Santa Claus. I think someone mixed their messages a little.

Potluck

Dec. 25th, 2005 07:37 am
perzephone: (Default)
Well, let's see - I got a very cool box o' goodies from the Hula Rat, although I will probably never wear any of it. She sent me a leopard-print fleece scarf & headband(?) that is so very soft, and sent me & Rob a black fleece blanket that is also baby soft, a fork made into a bracelet where the tines are wrapped around a piece of red agate, the usual Biscoff assortment of Parasites & graham cracker cookies, a spoon w/a picture of Albert Einstein lacquered onto it, and a small rubber preying mantis. From Rob I got figurines of Al & Lust from FMA, and from Sheung Yi, I got a frozen vanilla latte with a shot of espresso - and a pack of citrus Orbit gum (my total favorite gum in the gum world).

The story behind the frozen vanilla latte:
About a month ago, Sheung Yi asked me if I had $5 to spend, what would I spend it on. She stipulated I couldn't give it away, buy anything for anyone else or save the money. I had to spend $5 on me. I thought this was one of those personality tests, so I thought for a moment or two & realized that I really wanted one of those said frozen coffees from the shop at the bottom of Tower I. I've been cutting back on them because, well, fuck, they're $5 each time I get one - working four days a week that's $20 on coffee. Yipes! So I told her about said coffee & forgot all about it.

So last night, she stopped me in the hall & gave me my present & told me not to tell anyone she gave it to me. Well, I've been getting cards & little things like that from co-workers & no one wants anyone else to feel obligated or left out, and I left it at that. Later as we were having our 'Losers Who Work Graveyard on Christmas Eve So Everyone Else Can Take the Holiday Off' potluck, she gave a box to Enrico & Harley. Enrico got a pint of Hagen Dasz Chocolate Chip Ice Cream & Harley got some fireplace matches & a bunch of kindling & tissue paper. He started laughing & they reminded me of the $5 question. I thought that was so clever & ingenious! She put Jeff's box on his desk & he brought it in to me asking if I seriously knew who it was from (there's been some coworker problems for Jeff lately) & I told him honestly it wasn't from me, but he needed to open it before he left work. So he opened it & it was full of - get this - Kool-Aid & Top Ramen. He was standing there w/this stack of Kool Aid packets in his hand & the weirdest look on his face, & I had to remind him, "Remember when Sheung Yi was asking everyone what they'd do with $5?" He started laughing so hard. Overall we had a great night and we all ate - and ate, and then we ate some more. I was eating continuously from about 1:45 this morning til I left. I brought the turkey, some wild rice & peas, Enrico had collard greens, Jeff brought a shrimp platter, Sheung Yi made an enormous cheesecake & Harley had cookies & cheesy mashed potatoes, which were sooo fucking good. And Molly came in early w/Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It was a 12-lb turkey & by the time we were cleaning up this morning, all that was left of it was a drumstick & the back meat. There were 6 of us working - that's like 2 lbs. of turkey for each of us, and I only had a wing & some breast meat. But we were all constantly picking like people do w/turkey.

So, let me ask you: If you had $5 and could only spend it on yourself, not give it away or buy a gift for someone else, or save it, just $5 that you absolutely, positively HAD to spend on yourself, what would you buy?
perzephone: (the plants)
Well, we started to watch 'The Brothers Grimm' & Rob's mom called. We were in the middle of dinner. He's on the phone w/her now, arguing about his nephew's dad & his sister. Sooo, while he's been arguing, I've been straightening up my room, creating a safe, sacred space.

Contrary to what anyone may believe about me, or what I may have led others to believe about me, I don't have much experience with true hallucinogens. I understand that what one takes into the 'trip' is often connected to what their surroundings are like, so I picked up all my laundry, put away some of the clutter that's been just sitting there next to my bed. Moved the phones away from the bed so the only piece of electronics that is nearby is my CD/clock thingy. I blew the ash & dead matches & joss sticks & dust off the center of my altar & lit some Nag Champa in there. I picked up the softener sheets from the floor & tossed them, put the hot water bottle in the bathroom, I'm going to have to find somewhere else to put the electric fan. I just get the feeling that I don't want anything alien-looking or too mechanical nearby. I'm worried about the iron & ironing board - I may move it into the den for the night. I am afraid of anything that may appear monstrous. So I've turned my room into a mental sanctuary, ready for my journey.

So then as I was standing there, anointing a white candle w/dragon's blood oil, it struck me again that tonight is Solstice night. So as I was anointing the candle, I was chanting in my head, "Dies natalis Solis invictus! Sun God, Sun God, Ra, Ra, Ra!" It was as if I could hear a Roman legion beating their shields & shouting it with me.

Earlier on WoW, on Barrens chat (of course, couldn't say it in UC) I blurted out "I have this deep need to wish everyone a Merry Solstice!" I got so many responses, a lot of them ending w/things like, "Hey, I'm not the only one!" & "There are more of us!" Wow has some amazing imagery in their elfin lands - these stags just north of the Barrens, in Ashenvale - holy moly! Rob's character has a totem that attracts enemy creature's attention - I was almost sick because one of those stags attacked us & was rapidly killing us, so we had to fight back. The stags, even high level ones, don't normally attack. There's a druid sanctuary, and just outside it was 'The Shrine of Remulos'. By the Gods, it is breathtaking in its own CGI way. I wish I could find a decent screenshot of it - it's a tree in the form of a woman, and in front of her is a half-man, half-stag.

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Rainbow Serpent Woman

August 2014

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