Rainbow Serpent Woman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
perzephone) wrote2003-10-20 02:37 am
perzephone) wrote2003-10-20 02:37 am
Entry tags:
Shamanic Drumming Experience #1
Ok, so I'm getting serious here:
October 20, 2003
approx. 1a.m. PDT
I prepared my living room space - between the two snake tanks. I lit some charcoal & burned some sweet grass, some poultry seasoning mix (I know it has sage in it) and some of the kinnikinnick mix Rob bought.
I turned out most of the house lights, leaving one on in the laundry room because I get scared of the dark in this house.
I sat in front of my stereo, started the CD, and tried very hard to relax. It was uncomfortable to be sitting up, so I laid down w/my head facing the stereo & my feet facing the couch. It felt like I was slanted w/my head lower than my feet, which was weird for me. It really felt like my feet should be facing the other way, but I tried to stay in that position. So then my lower back & left hip started screaming for mercy, but I kept on laying there, and eventually the scream went to dull throb like normal. But I couldn't get over the downhill-slant problem, so I sat up, turned around & put more incense on the charcoal. I realized that if I laid down in the other direction, my feet would interfere w/the charcoal burner. Bad move. So I sat some more w/my eyes closed, uncomfortable as I always am these days. I tried swinging my head back & forth, feeling that line of tension that ran from the back of my neck to somewhere between my shoulder blades. It freaked me out because at a certain point in my back, all sensation disappeared, to reappear at the burning place in my lower back, only slightly to the left. So there I sat, totally aware of the buzzing noise of the fridge, the highpitched whine of my computer's fan, the light from the laundry room, the whine of the CD player itself, and something kept clicking or banging against the back door, which I was right next to...
I kept trying the transcendental beginners' kit method of pure meditation. Sit & focus on the third eye w/your eyes focused upwards. This only made my right eyelid jitter up & down & my left eye want to pop out of my head. So I put my head down & eventually started seeing little stars. My brain spoke up & said, "Those flashes you're seeing are the same flashes those auto-erotic asphyxiation junkies see..." which made me pick my head up again & open my eyes, although the carpet by this point was really sparkly too. So were the walls & the entertainment system. In fact, some of those sparklies haven't entirely gone away yet. I also found that laying under the ceiling lamp was a little ominous.
So, I think the next go with the CD, I need to move my stereo into my room or get a smaller CD player for my room, where it's quieter & has no electronic noise to fret me. That way I can also have the incense burner on a more secure surface, like a nightstand, where I don't have to worry about kicking it over if I need to switch positions. I also ate pretty heavy, and although I'm not one to find fasting conducive to magickal work (who can work w/all that growling going on?) the book suggests not eating for 6 hrs. prior to shamanic travel, and I can easily go 6 hrs. between meals. I always go into these things not expecting them to work, but I had a lot of distractions around me. I feel sort of light-headed & dizzy, but I don't know if it's from the herbs I was burning or from holding my head down or what.
It's just hard getting alone-time to do stuff like this. The reason I planned for tonight was because I'm home & Rob went to work. Of course, Rob came back from work 2 hrs. later complaining about his stomach, wanting to stay home, and I said, "Sure, you can stay home. But if you get fired, are you going to look for a new job tomorrow, or will I have to wait another year?" He got dressed & went back. Chances are, no supervisor will show up tonight, but you never know. He's all pissed off at me. Passive agressive complaining, etc., but what the hell, it got him to go back to the post.
October 20, 2003
approx. 1a.m. PDT
I prepared my living room space - between the two snake tanks. I lit some charcoal & burned some sweet grass, some poultry seasoning mix (I know it has sage in it) and some of the kinnikinnick mix Rob bought.
I turned out most of the house lights, leaving one on in the laundry room because I get scared of the dark in this house.
I sat in front of my stereo, started the CD, and tried very hard to relax. It was uncomfortable to be sitting up, so I laid down w/my head facing the stereo & my feet facing the couch. It felt like I was slanted w/my head lower than my feet, which was weird for me. It really felt like my feet should be facing the other way, but I tried to stay in that position. So then my lower back & left hip started screaming for mercy, but I kept on laying there, and eventually the scream went to dull throb like normal. But I couldn't get over the downhill-slant problem, so I sat up, turned around & put more incense on the charcoal. I realized that if I laid down in the other direction, my feet would interfere w/the charcoal burner. Bad move. So I sat some more w/my eyes closed, uncomfortable as I always am these days. I tried swinging my head back & forth, feeling that line of tension that ran from the back of my neck to somewhere between my shoulder blades. It freaked me out because at a certain point in my back, all sensation disappeared, to reappear at the burning place in my lower back, only slightly to the left. So there I sat, totally aware of the buzzing noise of the fridge, the highpitched whine of my computer's fan, the light from the laundry room, the whine of the CD player itself, and something kept clicking or banging against the back door, which I was right next to...
I kept trying the transcendental beginners' kit method of pure meditation. Sit & focus on the third eye w/your eyes focused upwards. This only made my right eyelid jitter up & down & my left eye want to pop out of my head. So I put my head down & eventually started seeing little stars. My brain spoke up & said, "Those flashes you're seeing are the same flashes those auto-erotic asphyxiation junkies see..." which made me pick my head up again & open my eyes, although the carpet by this point was really sparkly too. So were the walls & the entertainment system. In fact, some of those sparklies haven't entirely gone away yet. I also found that laying under the ceiling lamp was a little ominous.
So, I think the next go with the CD, I need to move my stereo into my room or get a smaller CD player for my room, where it's quieter & has no electronic noise to fret me. That way I can also have the incense burner on a more secure surface, like a nightstand, where I don't have to worry about kicking it over if I need to switch positions. I also ate pretty heavy, and although I'm not one to find fasting conducive to magickal work (who can work w/all that growling going on?) the book suggests not eating for 6 hrs. prior to shamanic travel, and I can easily go 6 hrs. between meals. I always go into these things not expecting them to work, but I had a lot of distractions around me. I feel sort of light-headed & dizzy, but I don't know if it's from the herbs I was burning or from holding my head down or what.
It's just hard getting alone-time to do stuff like this. The reason I planned for tonight was because I'm home & Rob went to work. Of course, Rob came back from work 2 hrs. later complaining about his stomach, wanting to stay home, and I said, "Sure, you can stay home. But if you get fired, are you going to look for a new job tomorrow, or will I have to wait another year?" He got dressed & went back. Chances are, no supervisor will show up tonight, but you never know. He's all pissed off at me. Passive agressive complaining, etc., but what the hell, it got him to go back to the post.