Apr. 30th, 2008

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Went to the mall today after work & picked up a Deathnote keychain - it's got the shinigami Ryuk on it and a little red apple, because as we know, shinigami love apples. Ok, yes, now we all know the real reason why I never wanted kids - I want to play with the toys and I don't want to have to share. Anyway...

Me & Rob sat in the foodcourt discussing life, the universe and shinigami, I said something to the effect of, "Well, if your mom dies tomorrow of natural causes, you'll know it worked."

We were on the road after dinner when his mom called & whatever she was telling him had Rob laughing, which upset her - he mouthed, "I don't care what she says, it's fucking funny" at me after apologizing because whatever they were discussing was, "not funny ha-ha but so terrible you had to laugh". From bits & pieces of their conversation I deduced that they are planning to build a landfill quite near the m.i.l.'s house and she is absolutely livid about it. She was bitching to Rob that the city planners were trying to push all the good hard-working money-paying white people out of the neighborhoods and hoping all the black people would move in. Now, how a landfill is going to make property more attractive to black people is beyond me, but this is how my racist pig of a m.i.l. thinks. Then she started complaining about bacteria & medical waste and the garbage trucks - which of course are all driven by bacteria-laden black people. Listening to her rant and rave was entertaining, and it was made even more entertaining because she was on speaker-phone and was trying to censor herself - she knows I get pissed off when she starts spouting racist bullshit. She resorted to ranting in German.

So the shinigami gave me the next-best-thing to death - the in-laws are thinking of moving to Colorado. That was a fast-acting little Death God, and he got an apple for his trouble :)

What's even funnier... a couple of weeks ago she called because Alex was wanting some Nazi propaganda records that he had left in his car. I didn't want that shit in my house, and I don't even know what happened to them - if they got hauled off w/the car or thrown out or what, but we don't have them anymore - I wouldn't even touch them & made Rob get rid of them. Anyway, last week she called to tell Rob that a bunch of his relatives were going to move to Idaho. I reminded him that Idaho is still the neo-Nazi capital of the U.S. (no matter how the Idaho government is trying to change that image) & most of his relatives don't sound or act like stereotypical Germans - they sound, look and act like stereotypical Jewish people. Then I told Rob, "So that's why she wanted those old Nazi records... it didn't have anything to do w/Alex at all..."

Happy Beltane, y'all. I had sex tonight, and it was good, and there was photography, but don't worry - it's all on Rob's phone so I can't share. Rob got me Sweeney Todd, too.


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