He's a Keeper

Me, to Rob: "In a weird way, I almost kind of hope they find a teratoma in there".

Rob: "What's a teratoma?"

Me: "It's when the body just decides, for whatever reason, to try growing some extra body parts... like hair or teeth or fingers. It's usually in a cyst".

Rob, slightly disgusted & weirded out: "If you want to win a prize, I can just get you a box of Cracker Jacks or something"

Me: "Yeah, but they don't put eyeballs in Cracker Jacks".

Rob: "You and your free fucking eyeballs..."

That's why I keep Rob around. He gets me.