perzephone: (Default)
Rainbow Serpent Woman ([personal profile] perzephone) wrote2005-05-16 11:59 am
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I Survived.

Well, I made it through the first dental appointment in many a year. I didn't take Valium beforehand, but I did pop a Benadryl simply because every time I go to the dentist, whether it be for an exam, a cleaning, to have something pulled, etc., I end up w/a sinus problem later that day. It also makes it nice having a dry mouth so I don't drool all over myself. The left side of my face looks like I had a stroke - it's all saggy & puffy.

This particular dentist, Marco Padilla, was amazingly gentle when it came to the anaesthetic shot. He was also fast - the tooth I had worked on was really bad - about to break, probably. I went in at a quarter til 11 & was out by 11:30 or so, paying for the work included. His staff is also very calm & no one seems to be in a great rush, which can be nice. You go into a hectic dental office & get all worked up just watching people fly from place to place. It also wasn't assembly-line dentistry. The dentist was there the whole time. He was waiting for something, probably the amalgam, to be prepared & started picking at other teeth to kill time. I was like, "Uh, that's not the right tooth!"

I'm trying to get this crap done before I lose my insurance. What a nightmare!

Having come to the conclusion that, if we do end up in Seattle, we're just going to end up back in Vegas, and the fact that most Seattle-area apartments require both a recent rental history and employment to get approved, we're just staying here. It's probably for the best, anyway. I've just got to find work again once I get fired. I'm holding out to the bitter end. I really don't want to have to go back to the desk, tho - but by the end of June I'll only have 9 months til I get vested. What's 9 months on my feet? I'll get FMLA & take a shift during a slow time of day when no one will really care if I call in or go home early.

It's so frustrating that we depend so much on my income & insurance that the mere threat of me losing this job throws us into chaos. I hate the dependence. It's really horrible. We used to do just fine bringing in only $100 a month over rent. I don't know how we survived, exactly, but we did. I'm so used to making fat paychecks that I don't know what'll happen if I go back to $8 or $9 an hour. I used to dream about making $9 an hour, and now I complain about $15 not being enough. I was walking around the grocery store yesterday telling myself, "I will not cry! I will not cry!" Of course, I started crying in the dentist office - tears running out of the corners of my eyes as the dentist tells me the o-so-helpful "Get your mind out of your mouth!" But crying in the dentist is a heck of a lot different that crying for absolutely no good reason in the grocery store.

I think I'm gonna take a nap before I go to my shot clinic.

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