My Real Parents

I just realized that I know more about serial killers than I do my own parents.

I first heard about the Son of Sam when I was 5... my dogs could talk to me, too, but they never asked me to kill anyone.

I really need a vacation. If I don't get one soon, I may make my real parents (Berkowitz, Bundy, the Menendez bros, Richard Ramirez... those guys) so proud of me.