Angst

[perzephone]

So, has anyone out there reading this ever just walked away from their religion? Just kicked their spirituality off the turnip truck?

I was looking around my room and just about everything hanging off my walls is spiritual. I've got a bookcase full of Tarot-related and Pagan and Buddhist books. Most of the art in my 'My Pictures' folder on my computer are from Pagan sites or depict Paganism in some form or another. It takes up a lot of space in my brain. I mean, if I'm not contemplating my navel, what else might I be thinking about?

But honestly, for all the physical & mental space dedicated to my spirituality, I spend little or no time on it. I'm still the same person I was when I left the Temple of the Inner Circle... I don't feel like I've grown or evolved one iota. I do not serve any Gods nor do I dedicate my life to Them... would They even miss me if I forgot about Them? Do They even care anymore?

Comments

Packing Up My Toys...

[perzephone.livejournal.com]

I think it's also just... I torment myself over how various entities have called me into service, and how I don't want to give up my comfortable, convenient life to answer those calls... but deep inside me, I know I could live a life of service to the Gods. Just not this one.

I kind of feel like I've been teasing the Gods, and then I resent Them for not paying attention to me anymore. Which isn't fair to Them, and it's not exactly fair to myself to be in this constant internal tug-of-war.

Sunday we're going to a starving artist fair, so I'm going to see if I can pick up some tropical or Asian scene to grace my walls when I take Medusa down.