Dear Santa,

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In September I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Saturday I didn't flush (-1 points). Last Thursday I helped kiyotesong across the street (6 points). In October I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In March I ruled Slobobia as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Overall, I've been nice (24 points). For Christmas I deserve a new broom! Sincerely, Perzephone

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I spent a lot of last night thinking about girth... I wonder that about my male coworkers frequently, probably more than I should. I have this sort of 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' complex. It's hard to explain. I think it's partly because I've only seen like, maybe 3 or 4 naked men in the past 10 years... Nope, 3. 3 nekkid men. Mostly Rob. Seen plenty o' naked women, there's no real allure there. But naked-in-the-flesh men, now there's something!

The Brad is getting married on Wednesday, so last night would have been my last opportunity to play doctor with him as a free man. He looks like Beaker from the Muppet Show. I noticed the other night that Debbie has very pretty eyes, and Wendi has exceptionally soft skin. She's squishy.