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Sometimes I get pissed off. Like tonight. Rob says my schedule sucks because he has to be hungry right when he wakes up so we can eat before I go to work. And lately, mainly due to school & work, I haven't been exactly in the mood to cook. So obviously, his not being hungry but still having to go get something for dinner is all my fault.
1) He does not have to get up when I get up. He can get up before I get up. He can get up after I get up. He can stay in bed til 8pm most nights if he so desired, or he could sleep all night while I'm at work & be up all day if he wanted.
2) He has two legs, two arms, and the car. If he wanted to he could take me to work & then go forth into the city & find something to eat when he gets hungry. His stomach is not dependent on me to fill it with foodly goodness. Hel's bells, he could open a can of soup or something.
3) All these years, he's been wanting me to go to school. I kept telling him that I cannot go to school and work full time. It's not possible. So now that I am doing it, going to school & working full time, I feel like he is utterly resentful of me because I am spending money on school and spending time on school, and because my deciding to go to school prevented us from moving to Washington - even though that in itself was contingent on me getting fired from the Excalibur when they did their computer upgrade, which they so far have not done. (I'm still working there - Bradley is not - how's that for a twist ending?).
4) He wanted me to make hamburgers all this past week - we went to the store on like, Tuesday morning & got hamburger meat, buns, veggies, etc. Hamburgers, to me, are very time consuming and involve a lot of prep work (and I get no help), and involve the broiler which is no fun to clean. Well, Tuesday we slept late & he wasn't hungry. Wednesday I had class. Thursday... Rob's been having bad heartburn & acid problems & he wasn't into a heavy meal, and I can't even remember what we ate. Friday night I had class again. I think I fed us slightly rotten meat on Saturday. Our fridge is fairly cold, and clean due to a turkey massacre the week of Thanksgiving... but, that meat had been sitting there since Tuesday, it was sort of grey & gamey. I managed to somehow choke it down (I've been having textural & odor issues w/food lately, especially meat and bread - that sour, yeasty bread smell that can turn sour & moldy at any point) and we've had no ill effects, but my brain is still telling me that hamburger meat was bad. And this on top of a week long battle for me to actually keep food down to begin with.
5) I am so freaking tired right now. Tired of working, tired of training, tired of going to school, tired of the house being all fucked up, tired of dirty snake tanks, and tired of being resented because I am not Martha Fucking Stewart.
1) He does not have to get up when I get up. He can get up before I get up. He can get up after I get up. He can stay in bed til 8pm most nights if he so desired, or he could sleep all night while I'm at work & be up all day if he wanted.
2) He has two legs, two arms, and the car. If he wanted to he could take me to work & then go forth into the city & find something to eat when he gets hungry. His stomach is not dependent on me to fill it with foodly goodness. Hel's bells, he could open a can of soup or something.
3) All these years, he's been wanting me to go to school. I kept telling him that I cannot go to school and work full time. It's not possible. So now that I am doing it, going to school & working full time, I feel like he is utterly resentful of me because I am spending money on school and spending time on school, and because my deciding to go to school prevented us from moving to Washington - even though that in itself was contingent on me getting fired from the Excalibur when they did their computer upgrade, which they so far have not done. (I'm still working there - Bradley is not - how's that for a twist ending?).
4) He wanted me to make hamburgers all this past week - we went to the store on like, Tuesday morning & got hamburger meat, buns, veggies, etc. Hamburgers, to me, are very time consuming and involve a lot of prep work (and I get no help), and involve the broiler which is no fun to clean. Well, Tuesday we slept late & he wasn't hungry. Wednesday I had class. Thursday... Rob's been having bad heartburn & acid problems & he wasn't into a heavy meal, and I can't even remember what we ate. Friday night I had class again. I think I fed us slightly rotten meat on Saturday. Our fridge is fairly cold, and clean due to a turkey massacre the week of Thanksgiving... but, that meat had been sitting there since Tuesday, it was sort of grey & gamey. I managed to somehow choke it down (I've been having textural & odor issues w/food lately, especially meat and bread - that sour, yeasty bread smell that can turn sour & moldy at any point) and we've had no ill effects, but my brain is still telling me that hamburger meat was bad. And this on top of a week long battle for me to actually keep food down to begin with.
5) I am so freaking tired right now. Tired of working, tired of training, tired of going to school, tired of the house being all fucked up, tired of dirty snake tanks, and tired of being resented because I am not Martha Fucking Stewart.
