Jimsonweed Diary, day 2

8:21am
Two seeds this morning. Created a brief numbing sensation on the tip of my tongue. And intense, incredible, not-to-be-believed pain when I crunched a piece of hard, dried seed & forced it up into the empty hole where a filling used to be... as if that tooth hasn't been bothering me all night. Ah well. Endorphins and seratonin are my friends...
I don't know what affects the seeds may have on me, if any. I'm more interested in mature roots, from plants in their second season.
My outlook is loading mail incredibly slooooowwww. What all did Jeff send me, anyway? Fuckhead.
My friend and prime breeding specimen for her generation seems to look down on anyone who chooses sex for pleasure instead of sex for procreation... With many bows to the Master Therion, this is my power:
I charge you earnestly to come before Me in a single robe and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous! I, Who am all pleasure and purple and drunkenness of inner sense, desire you. Put on the wings and arouse the coiled splendor within you. Come unto Me! At all My meetings with you shall the Priestess say - and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in My secret temple - to Me! To Me! Calling for the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant. Sing the rapturous love sung unto Me! Burn the perfumes! Wear unto Me jewels! Drink to Me, for I love you! I love you! I am the blue-lidded Daughter of Sunset, I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night sky. To Me!

Abscesses...

Well, the inevitable has arrived... all those lovely mercury amalgam fillings I have are deteriorating at a rapid rate. I s'pose that's what I get for being an acidic-food-&-drink lover (pepperoncini, anyone? how about some lemon to go w/that Coke?) So now I have a really interesting choice to make - root canal vs. extraction. It's a visible side tooth, so all the people in the dentist office are going, "Oh, honey, you'll want the root canal w/a crown. People will see that when you smile." When do I really show all my teeth when I smile? All I can see are little $$$ in their eyes. I'm going to get the thing pulled & maybe later go in for some bridgework, but more than likely I will walk around missing a toof. Right now I look like a lopsided hamster - one cheek all puffy & red, squinty-eyed. What's funny is the nerve pressure & swelling are making the other eyelid jitter up & down. It's an upper tooth, so of course my tonsils swelled up and my lower jaw hurts just for the hell of it.
My girl, the newly acclaimed Hula Rat, sent me the niftiest button. It reads: "I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick." She knows me so well!
Finished reading another crime profile book, "The Cases That Haunt Us." Talked about all these unsolved cases - Jack the Ripper, Lizzie Borden, the Boston Strangler, Jon Benet Ramsey... and the Zodiac Killer. I never knew that they never caught Zodiac. For some reason, this really bothers me. So much of my life has been spent hearing about killers... Zodiac, Son of Sam, the Green River Killer(s), Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy... being born at the beginning of the 70's meant that you grew up in the end of an era when people could leave their doors unlocked, when you could pick up a stranded motorist or hitch-hiker & feel relatively secure that the person wasn't a maniac... women could stay home alone & not be nervous... my mom was death on "not talking to strangers." I think it's partly because of the excellent survival training I received as a child that I now have a near-pathological hatred for anyone who stops me in the casino to ask where the nearest bathrooms are. Considering the day that we live in, and the atmosphere that has surrounded us, people continue to leave unattended children around the front desk while they gamble. 4am & there's someone's toddler napping by the bar. Ya know, even though we're quick to call security when someone leaves their kid to sleep on one of the benches by the front desk, when we see an adult come up the steps by the bar & gather a sleeping child into their arms & leave, we never ask them to wait for a security guard to properly ID them as the child's parent.