It May Reduce Inhibitions...

This morning, Rob laid down w/me. When he got up to leave, I placed tented, questing fingers against his chest & said, "I could just reach in there and rip it out." He asked, "Rip what out?" I replied, "Your heart. I could rip your heart out." He sort of moved away from me & my hand followed, "What are you going to do with it?" "I'm going to add it to my collection." "What collection" "Oh, you know, heart, kidneys, liver..." and then I laughed at
him. He asked me if I was awake & I told him, quite plainly, "No". I vaguely remember saying something about adding it to my collection, wanting to say something about 'shapes', "heart, square, triangle", but organs came out instead. I am creepier than I imagined myself to be.

Yesterday I walked in my sleep & trashed the house & the contents of my purse looking for dildo lube... this morning I threatened to pull Rob's heart out. The whole heart thing had Rob kind of concerned because I could do something violent in my sleep & not even know it til I woke up. When unleashed, my subconscious mind is a dark & scary place. I'm starting to wonder if maybe my conscious mind knows this & that's part of why I have insomnia.