Yes, I do know where Rob's been lately...

But today's Yahoo splashpage might have some of you thinking otherwise... at least, those of you that know Rob...

"Man With Chain Saw Allowed to Enter U.S.
Customs agents allowed man carrying a homemade sword, hatchet, knife, brass knuckles and "stained" chain saw to cross the border..."

Here's the story:

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050607/ap_on_re_us/chain_saw_border_7

By MICHAEL KUNZELMAN, Associated Press Writer Tue Jun 7, 7:05 PM ET

BOSTON - On April 25, Gregory Despres arrived at the U.S.-Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood. U.S. customs agents confiscated the weapons and fingerprinted Despres. Then they let him into the United States.

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The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Despres' hometown of Minto, New Brunswick: The decapitated body of a 74-year-old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on Fulton's kitchen floor. His head was in a pillowcase under a kitchen table. His common-law wife was discovered stabbed to death in a bedroom.

Despres, 22, immediately became a suspect because of a history of violence between him and his neighbors, and he was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.

At a time when the United States is tightening its borders, how could a man toting what appeared to be a bloody chain saw be allowed into the country?

Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, said the Canada-born Despres could not be detained because he is a naturalized U.S. citizen and was not wanted on any criminal charges on the day in question.

Anthony said Despres was questioned for two hours before he was released. During that time, he said, customs agents employed "every conceivable method" to check for warrants or see if Despres had broken any laws in trying to re-enter the country.

"Nobody asked us to detain him," Anthony said. "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. ... We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations."

Anthony conceded it "sounds stupid" that a man wielding what appeared to be a bloody chain saw could not be detained. But he added: "Our people don't have a crime lab up there. They can't look at a chain saw and decide if it's blood or rust or red paint."

Sgt. Gary Cameron of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police would not comment on whether it was, in fact, blood on the chain saw.

On the same day Despres crossed the border, he was due in a Canadian court to be sentenced on charges he assaulted and threatened to kill Fulton's son-in-law, Frederick Mowat, last August.

Mowat told police Despres had been bothering his father-in-law for the past month. When Mowat confronted him, Despres allegedly pulled a knife, pointed it at Mowat's chest and said he was "going to get you all."

Police believe the dispute between the neighbors boiled over in the early-morning hours of April 24, when Despres allegedly broke into Fulton's home and stabbed to death the musician and 70-year-old Veronica Decarie.

Fulton's daughter found her father's body two days later. His car was later found in a gravel pit on a highway leading to the U.S. border. Despres hitchhiked to the border crossing.

After the bodies were found on the afternoon of April 26, police set up roadblocks and sent out a bulletin that identified Despres as a "person of interest" in the slayings, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The bulletin caught the eye of a Quincy police dispatcher because it gave the suspect's Massachusetts driver's license number, missing a character. The dispatcher plugged in numbers and letters until she found a last known address for Despres in Mattapoisett. She alerted police in that town, and an officer quickly spotted Despres.

In state court the next day, Despres told a judge that he is affiliated with

NASA and was on his way to a Marine Corps base in Kansas at the time of his arrest.

After the case was transferred to federal court, Despres' attorney, Michael Andrews, questioned whether his client is mentally competent.

Fulton's friends in Minto, a village of 2,700 people, told the New Brunswick Telegraph-Journal that he was a popular musician, a guitarist known as the "Chet Atkins of Minto" and a 2001 inductee in the Minto Country Music Wall of Fame."

A Marine base in Kansas? Now that's really crazy!

Mental meanderings

I do not know who I am.

I do not know where I am going.

I do not know what I am good at, other than finding other people’s mistakes and fixing them.

I am not good at finding my own mistakes.

I do not know what I actually believe in anymore.

I have lost my faith.

I know some of what some people think about me.

I know how I got here.

I know what I used to be.

I know who I used to be.

I remember a great deal of my childhood.

I cannot see my own future.

I have no talents.

I have no skills.

I have no beauty.

I have no voice.

 

This is cribbed from the ‘Active Member Application’ of the Church of Satan…(which can be found here: http://www.churchofsatan.com/home.html  Did you know you could become a card-carrying Satanist for a mere $200?) I’ve left most of the ‘What do you think of the Satanic Bible’-type questions out, mainly because of all the things I’d like to be doing, re-reading the Satanic Bible is not one of them, at least not right now. Maybe I’ll put in what I think about it the next time I feel so inclined to read it…

 

1)      If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

      Now, I have to add a disclaimer. I do not trust the djinn, the fae, leprechauns, and other wish-granters in general. There is always a loophole, always a way for them to screw the uncautious wish-maker over. It's the same w/making a deal w/the devil. You have to be very specific. As these are not true djinn-granted wishes, I'm not being as specific as one should be when making wishes...

 

       1) I'd like to have a hundred more dollars than I'll ever need in this lifetime.

       2) I'd like to have 20/20 vision.

       3) I'd like to have a marketable talent that I personally enjoy.

 

2)      What is your attitude towards animals? If you have any pets, describe them. What is your ideal?

      I like animals. I have two ball pythons, Ed & Nessie. And a dead coyote on a stick, Bob. Ed is sort of goofy, Nessie has a bad attitude... and Bob is always Bob. I'd like to add a red-tailed python to my family, and a flying fox, and a big floppy yellow dog.

 

3)      Are you satisfied with your sex life? Describe your ideal of a physically attractive sex partner.

      Actually, right now I am fairly satisfied, considering that I really don't have much of a drive & can't have orgasms, anyway. I'd like a woman, please. A slightly dominant, big-boned, tall, squishy red-haired woman w/a soft, rounded belly, pale skin and heavy, creamy thighs.

 

4)      What is your life’s goal, and what steps have you taken to obtain it?

       My life's goal. Heh. None, especially not right now. Therefore, I have taken no steps towards anything as there is nothing for me to head towards.

 

5)      How many years would you like to live? Til I have to legally retire, so 37 more years.

 

6)      What are your musical tastes? Provide examples.

      I am eclectic. I like African-Aboriginal-Celtic-hip hop tribal fusion (Peter Gabriel, the Afro Celt Sound System, Black Eyed Peas, Arrested Development, James Asher, Nomad), I like rock/pop (Train, Dave Matthews Band), political (U2, Consolidated), ethnic (Kodo, tai-ko drumming), old school rap (N. W. A.), white-boy rap (Eminem, Kid Rock)... 80's (Oingo Boingo, Cyndi Lauper, INXS), Prince, Rob Zombie... I am not picky when it comes to music. It's funny, tho, since this originally came from the COS, that I cannot think of a single 'Satanic' band, and I'm not really into death/goth rock... it's too slow. 

 

7)      Cite four motion pictures you consider your favorites, and why.

The Company of Wolves - you have to be careful of the wolves who wear their fur on the inside... it's a great film. Feral and sensuous. A dark faery tale.

Fifth Element - it's spiritual, without being overtly religious. Love and death and war.

The Lion King - once again, spirituality without religion. It is strange to me that they like to kill animals off in Disney movies, usually just to move the plot along, too.. all part of the Circle of Life, but damn.

     Four films... geez. I can't say that any film is really my favorite. I mean, so much of what I          see is all re-runs. There are some movies I'll watch over & over again, just because they're on t.v. & it's mind/eye candy. And there are some movies I'm annoyed at for watching even once (House of 1000 Corpses immediately comes to mind - Rob Zombie, what were you thinking?!)

Four films... I'm trying to discipline my mind here... four films. Holy moly. I can't even think of four films right off the top of my head like this...

         Ok, ok. I give up.  

    

8)      What are your food preferences?

I like anything I can eat with my fingers & pick apart. Pomegranates, crab legs, lobster, sunflower seeds, nuts in general, artichokes, chip & dip, fondue - well, I've never tried fondue, but I imagine I would like it.

 

9)      If you own an automobile, describe it. What is your ideal automobile?

            It's a '91 Oldsmobile Ciera. It's sort of a military blue. The nose got totaled, so the replacement nose is primer grey. I own it, Rob drives it. It's been overheating every time we're at a stoplight for more than 30 seconds or so... every Summer for the past 4 years, we've gone thru this crap, too. It's about time we got a new old car, but it's a tedious process. My ideal automobile? A McLaren F1. Yup. Not in my wildest reality would that ideal ever come into manifestation!

 

10)  As a child what were your favorite pastimes? What was your disposition?

I did then pretty much what I do now. I read. A lot. Constantly. You never saw me w/out a book in my hand or w/out my head in a book. I read while I ate, I read when we were going somewhere, I read when I was in the bathtub, I read in the pool... If my parents had been more on-the-ball I probably could have set numerous Guinness World Records - most words read, most books read... I set out one year w/a goal to read my way through the public library, but we moved. I was not really a 'shy' child, but I didn't like being outside w/other kids. I liked quiet indoor pursuits and sitting listening to adults talk.

  

11)  Of what country, other than the one you currently live in, would you prefer being a resident?

 Um, Canada? I have basic needs for safe public water, flushing indoor toilets, hot water being accessible... English being the primary spoken language, the government not being oppressive enough to storm individual homes in the dead of night looking for contraband.

 

12)  In what type of dwelling do you live? Describe your ideal home.

 I live in the mother-in-law's house. Luckily, she doesn't live here w/us. She lives in another house. My ideal home would be one that the mother-in-law had absolutely no involvement in whatsoever. One w/the above-described indoor flushing toilets, hot running safe public water, central air/heat. Space for the books & snakes & a nice corner for Bob to lean in. Walls & a roof that keeps out the rain & debris is usually a good thing. At least one door leading to the outside door. And lighting that works more than sporadically, w/conveniently placed electric & phone plugs. And no weird Amityville windows or Lovecraftian angles to drive me mad. And no rats in the walls, thanks.

 

13)  Describe your political philosophy.

This one is hard, mainly because I don't care. Lower my taxes while still providing me w/basic public services that I have grown accustomed to. Simple. Stop taxing me so other people's kids can go to school. I went to those so-called 'public schools' and still had to pay for my books, all my supplies, uniforms, lab fees... and still got RPC'd for what I was wearing, even though I actually managed to show up everyday & do all my assigned homework. How can you afford to buy new clothes when they charge you to buy books & supplies? Where are all those taxes going, anyway? 

 

14)  What is your personal definition of magic?

Inflicting change. 

 

15)  Do you feel oppressed or persecuted in any way? If so, explain.

Actually, I really don't feel oppressed or persecuted. I pretty much say what's on my mind when people ask me, and they sort of accept it & go on about their business. I'm not protecting anyone from my actions. It's kind of nice. I reflect only on myself. 

 

16)  Are you self-sufficient, or are you most productive in a group?

I am most definitely self-sufficient. 

 

17)  Do you make friends easily if you so choose?

When I choose to do so, I suppose I do make friends easily. Usually, I choose not to. 

 

18)  What is more important to you: self-satisfaction or approval from others?

Self-satisfaction. 

 

19)  Would you rather influence or be influenced?

I would rather influence. And I usually do, much to my endless amusement. 

 

20)  Do you feel you have leadership abilities?

Unfortunately for others, I do indeed have leadership abilities, and I'm not afraid to use them - much to my endless amusement, once again. 

 

21)  Do you consider yourself a good judge of character?

Actually, no, I'm not. At least, not on first impressions. I have to get to know someone in order to understand their character, and people surprise me - whipping out stuff I never would have imagined. 

 

22)  Describe a significant event in your life bordering on what you would consider the paranormal or the demonic, if any.

This one's a doozy. Dead people have always talked to me. Animals used to talk to me. Most of my earliest memories involve spirits & psychic echoes, the cursed Ouija board that hated Penny... the singing ghost, the little boy in this house now. I can't say as I've ever had 'demonic' contact, mainly because I don't think of 'demons' much. Anyway, I had a specific event in this house last year... I was making apple pies, so it was probably last Autumn. I was cutting pieces of pie & saw, fully saw the ghost of the little boy. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, was about 8 years old, a skinny Mexican boy w/no shirt and worn-at-the-knees pajama bottoms that were too small for him. His stomach was concave & his ribs were very prominent, but not really in a starved way, just that growing-too-fast way that little boys have. He had short black hair that fell over his eyes. I turned & snapped at him, "If you want a piece, why don't you say so?!" And then I realized that I just snapped at an apparition & had to abruptly put the plate w/the pie on it back on the counter because I was shaking like crazy & could actually feel every hair on my head stand up... and gooseflesh all over my body. And when I dared to look back in that direction, he wasn't visible anymore. 

 

23)  What forms of entertainment do you prefer?

I like to watch other people do stupid things & hurt themselves. I don't know why, but it really amuses me. I also like to watch things get blown up. At least, I believe this is what I find entertaining because one of my favorite things to watch lately is Maximum Exposure. I also like The Wild Boys, Viva La Bam & Team Sanchez. I also like to watch people in general. Especially when I whip out my influential & leadership abilities to provide entertainment for myself. 

 

24)  Tell one of your favorite jokes.

Ok, Ok, are y'all ready for this? Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken. Hah! 

 

25)  Have you accomplished anything important or significant? If so, what?

Um, no. 

 

      26) Which parent do you admire most & why?

I can't say that I truly admire either of my parents. My parents were broken people, and they raised broken children. My dad, at least, died the way he said he wanted to, asleep in the bunk of a truck.