Ok, so maybe I'm nuts...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 78% Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 66% Borderline |||||||||||||| 58% Histrionic || 10% Narcissistic |||||| 26% Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% Dependent || 10% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%

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Disorder Info

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.


Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

Group Activities

Yeesh, I was about to start another blog on the psych site I visit when I realized I've already got 2 blogs here that I barely use, other than to post results of quizzes and song lyrics that are probably in violation of some kind of copyright law somewhere.

Anyway, I started to think about why I might actually be schizoid or schizotypal, avoidant, anti-social, all that good stuff... took another quiz that told me my RPG alignment was 'Neutral Evil' & realized all those questions were almost exactly the same types of situational questions that makes me come up as schizoid/schizotypal/avoidant/anti-social... so maybe it's not a personality disorder - maybe I just need to get my frontal lobe realigned.

At work, they (meaning the people from MGM-Mirage-Mandalay Resorts, Inc.) are having all these motivational meetings. The latest one was 'Keep 'Em In the Castle' - trying to garner employee suggestion on how to encourage guests to stay more than 2.5 days without spending any money on making any real improvements in the hotel. More of that 'treat the customer like royalty & they'll keep coming back!'. In all actuality, these people don't care how you treat them as long as they can get a room for under $50 a night. And the worse you treat them & the shittier their accommodations, the better, because it usually means they'll get their next stay for free, as well as getting free stuff while they're there. I read my job description (which was written in June of '00) & it is actually in my job description that I'm supposed to help these people increase business by offering helpful suggestions. I'm apparently also supposed to keep track of changes implemented by other hotels & offer helpful suggestions on keeping up w/the Wynnses. Yanno what would happen if I actually requested to speak w/one of the new managers about innovations in hospitality? They would point, laugh & ask me if I thought I'd get o.t. by staying later to speak w/them. I'm gonna have to make a copy of the official job description & post it here. It's a hoot.

I have to say, I do my best to avoid all motivational meetings. I hate team-building projects involving people I don't know & will most likely never see again who are most likely illegal aliens who don't speak any English & talk amongst themselves about the English-speaking Americans at their table in Tagalog or Esperanto. Yes, I am slightly elitist. I don't fraternize w/the maids or the internal maintenance crews... I only know a few people at the hotel that I'm not directly involved with, like the Chinese bread guy (he speaks English), the Phillipino porter (who speaks English w/a thick accent) & a few assorted housekeepers. :::stepping on soapbox::: I'm not racist or singling any one cultural group out - but learn to speak English & use it when you're working in America w/Americans. If I was working in another country w/a different national language, I would learn to speak it. But I was born in California, taught English in California's schools & I feel it's wrong that I am a lingual minority in my own workplace. :::stepping off soapbox:::

There are people who work day shift at the front desk that I've never met, and I like it that way. The less I see or know of them, the better. I am the enemy, after all - I am one of the pseudo-suits like the surveillance people. (I'm one of the only hotel employees who ever sees surveillance - & that's only because I'm wandering around in the corporate offices at 4 - 5am w/my paperwork while they're on breaks. They're even more elitist than I am, but they're not even allowed to fraternize & they wear plain clothes & don't eat in the EDR - room service delivers to the door.)

I'm thinking more & more that I ought to go see a psychiatrist, a real head shrinker & see if my paranoia & delusions can become an advantage somehow w/out landing me in an I-love-myself jacket. I mean, I'm really getting to the point where I loathe other humans. Don't want them to look at me or talk to me & most definitely don't want them touching me. That's the strangest paradox - being so completely soul-horny it's embarrassing, wanting a lover, wanting a good, deep fuck - but not wanting to be touched by anyone else.

Walking from the employee entrance to my office, from the office to the EDR & back, going to the annex to get my pinks, trying to deliver my paperwork in the morning & leaving again is like running a gauntlet. Drunken lost tourists who all need to use the restroom line my path like paddle-wielding frat boys at a hazing. And then management now all have to work 9+ hours to 'conform to industry standards' so I have even more of a gauntlet to run in the mornings... let's see how fast I can get my paperwork delivered & go back & hide in my cube before all the managers & supervisors come in... (damn, I just poked myself in the eye. good thing it's not the one I'm using right now) Rob dragged me to the mall the other day in an effort to distract me w/Lane Bryant so he could shop for a Hallowe'en present for me & it completely skeeved me out. I saw how packed the food court was & just wanted to turn around & run. I get this horrible feeling when I'm in public (even when I'm out of uniform) that some drunken moron is going to accost me, put their arm around me & ask, "Where's the shitter? I gotta puke!" I back away from over-enthusiastic sales people like they were infected w/bedbugs.

I did score a Sesshoumaru (yeah, I know it's probably misspelled. Sue me or make fun of me for being a noob to anime or something - I saw a site where they called him 'Sesshy McGethy) keychain, tho (it's gotta be older - he's got both arms, but his eyes are very well detailed) & a matching set of keychains of Ed & Al from FMA. I scanned the picture from the backing & am using it as my new Trillian icon, & I'm thoroughly pleased I can announce my allegiance to the Elric brothers this way.

Oh holy crap, I started reading the Uncyclopedia's entry for zombies and almost poked myself in the eye again when I got to the bottom of the page.

I've been having these weird ups & downs. I mean, I'm still down, but not as down as I was this (well, now it's yesterday since it was about 24 hours ago) morning... I came home & just wanted to stay in bed. In the dark. With a pillow pressed tightly over my face. Thinking about how I feel like such a schmo when I'm in my accounting class, and a complete dork in my computer class, and I can't keep up w/my math class. I'm wondering why I even started this - we owe $500 to the allergy clinic because no one knew I was supposed to pay a copay every time I got a shot until last month, we owe $200 to the chiropractor because all of a sudden the yearly deductible is $250 per person on the plan instead of $250 for both of us like it was last year... Either that or Rob didn't go to any doctors last year, or maybe his Incident with the Scorpion took care of it & I didn't realize it at the time. The student loan is taking forever to process & I'm thinking I probably won't even get that money back & I've wasted it on trying to go back to school when we should have just kept that tax return $$. I should be out trying to find another job right now instead of wasting my time on classes. I've also got to start training someone for vacation time once the shift bid's official & I know who I'm dealing w/on grave. Maybe I can train Jimit & start up some kind of no-touching affair w/him. He's Hindu, he should know the Kama Sutra by heart.

I've got a potential stalker or possibly a flamer on the psych site, though, which always spices things up a little.