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We Were Robbed
Mar. 19th, 2006 07:27 am
Literally. Rob came home from work last night to interrupt a theft-in-progress.
He's alive, and the snakes are alive, and Bob is still in his sort-of one piece.
They stacked a bunch of pots up under my bathroom window...
They were very selective and sort of weird thieves, though. They went through every freaking drawer in my room, took one knife from my altar & left the other... took a jewelry box full of junk jewelry & left the good stuff hanging from the wall... took Rob's hairbrush... Of course, they got the guns in Rob's room but only went through half my closet & missed the shotgun - and Rob ran out in the street & shot in the vicinity of some guy walking up the road. They left the tv's, the stereo, my radio, my computer... but Rob interrupted them in the middle of cutting the wires on his computer. They got his PS2 & the games to go w/it, though, and they had boxed up all our DVD's & his swords. They didn't rifle through our medicine cabinets in the bathroom, but they picked through the pill drawer we have - which was the only thing in the kitchen they messed with. Suspicious, huh?
They had paperwork strewn all over the house - Rob scared me & said they took my address book, but the thing he found in the street wasn't mine, but my address book was in my room - the charcoal from my altar was in Rob's room. I don't know what the fuck these Stooges were doing, but they made a mess out of everything. They pulled all my dildos & various other implements from my drawers & they were tossed about my room along w/every single deck of Tarot cards I own.
And now my bathroom is covered in graphite fingerprint dust. It doesn't come out of grout.
I dunno whether to laugh or cry, really. They took what remained of our tax return, which means no more work on the truck, no new tank for Ed... they took credit cards that were pretty well maxed out. Getting in touch w/some of the credit cards was impossible - 'Please press 5 to report this card lost or stolen' :::presses 5::: 'Please call back during regular business hours'. Oh, thanks a freakin' lot. I finally got in touch w/our bank & when Rob went to see if he could pull cash from the ATM before anyone else got to it, it ate his card - he gave the security camera a big thumbs-up.
Oh, and if anyone happens to see a nekkid picture of me on the internet that doesn't seem like I put it there myself, please contact me. I was wearing Christmas raindeer antlers in said photo - and nothing else.
He's alive, and the snakes are alive, and Bob is still in his sort-of one piece.
They stacked a bunch of pots up under my bathroom window...
They were very selective and sort of weird thieves, though. They went through every freaking drawer in my room, took one knife from my altar & left the other... took a jewelry box full of junk jewelry & left the good stuff hanging from the wall... took Rob's hairbrush... Of course, they got the guns in Rob's room but only went through half my closet & missed the shotgun - and Rob ran out in the street & shot in the vicinity of some guy walking up the road. They left the tv's, the stereo, my radio, my computer... but Rob interrupted them in the middle of cutting the wires on his computer. They got his PS2 & the games to go w/it, though, and they had boxed up all our DVD's & his swords. They didn't rifle through our medicine cabinets in the bathroom, but they picked through the pill drawer we have - which was the only thing in the kitchen they messed with. Suspicious, huh?
They had paperwork strewn all over the house - Rob scared me & said they took my address book, but the thing he found in the street wasn't mine, but my address book was in my room - the charcoal from my altar was in Rob's room. I don't know what the fuck these Stooges were doing, but they made a mess out of everything. They pulled all my dildos & various other implements from my drawers & they were tossed about my room along w/every single deck of Tarot cards I own.
And now my bathroom is covered in graphite fingerprint dust. It doesn't come out of grout.
I dunno whether to laugh or cry, really. They took what remained of our tax return, which means no more work on the truck, no new tank for Ed... they took credit cards that were pretty well maxed out. Getting in touch w/some of the credit cards was impossible - 'Please press 5 to report this card lost or stolen' :::presses 5::: 'Please call back during regular business hours'. Oh, thanks a freakin' lot. I finally got in touch w/our bank & when Rob went to see if he could pull cash from the ATM before anyone else got to it, it ate his card - he gave the security camera a big thumbs-up.
Oh, and if anyone happens to see a nekkid picture of me on the internet that doesn't seem like I put it there myself, please contact me. I was wearing Christmas raindeer antlers in said photo - and nothing else.
