A Dream

T'other day I had a weird dream. Well, how should I know if it was a weird dream or not? It's a novelty to me, this dreaming thing. Maybe it was a perfectly normal dream.

Anyway, I was in a car with someone who may have been Jody or may have been Rob, or even could have been Jeff... or some amalgamation thereof. It was out in the undeveloped part of North Las Vegas, a place where a road has small bumpy hills. It had been raining pretty hard, but my dream started out w/me just seeing red mud from the windows. Almost like there'd been a mud slide or maybe a flash flood because the sides of the road looked very raw, with roots of plants & broken branches & various organic-looking things poking up through the mud. In a little cul-de-sac in the debris I saw what at first glance looked like a small dog, but I realized it was a coyote... and a young chimpanzee in a diaper. Both animals looked hurt, but the coyote was also tangled up in a light chain & seemed the more distressed of the two. I started saying, "Stop, we need to pull over, I've got to help that coyote!" The person in the car w/me was like, "No way, we can't pull over here, we'll get stuck!" I just kept insisting, "then stop in the road & I'll run across, something, just stop the damned car!" So they did & I jumped out & as I got closer to the coyote, it started humping its back up, tucking its tail under its belly, laying its ears back & snarling at me.

I kept trying to get close enough to the coyote to at least slip one loop of the chain off its back, but every time I got near it, it would lash out at me with its teeth. The chain was like a combination dog choker chain & tow chain, but there was a pink heart-shaped metal tag hanging off it where it went over the coyote's ribs. The more I was dancing around the pissed off dog, the closer the chimp got to me, until it was literally wrapped around my leg & pulling on my shirt like a little kid or something. So I'm trying to shake the monkey off me & avoid the nasty teeth the coyote is bearing, and finally I just gave up. I picked the chimp up (the monkey was covered in blood & at least the coyote seemed more distressed than injured) & got back in the car & told the driver to find a vet.

When we got to the vet, in the examining room, he was giving the chimp a shot as I was telling him how hard I'd tried to help the coyote, but I was afraid it would bite me & they'd have to kill it to test it for rabies. He seemed very disinterested in me, the chained coyote and the monkey - who had a broken arm, but no wounds to explain the blood.

I've been mulling it over, but nothing comes clear about it.

My How Times Change

So I've been keeping this journal now for about 3 1/2 years. I went from this:

July 22, 2003:
So I got the job I've been steadily working on for the past 2 years, and for the first time in a long time I actually feel good about myself. Sometimes positive affirmation does work, but I've been affirming that position for 2 freakin' years now. Sheesh! I've been working in a huge hotel out here, the 3rd largest currently operating in Vegas, and as a result, I've cut myself off from the outside world. Constant exposure to other people has just made me not want to be around anyone. I hardly even want to be around myself anymore. But now I have a sweet little cubicle 3 nights a week where I can count beans in peace. When I got the promotion, I think I scared some people - I don't think they've ever seen me smile. I had a Wednesday Addams moment. I still have to work 1 desk shift, which isn't too bad - Sundays aren't ever so hairy as say, Fridays. So maybe now that I've got 3 days off, I'll be more willing to go out in the big wide world again. Who knows?

to this:
( My Job Description )