The Most Awesomest Poem I've Read in Awhile

by Daniel Ladinsky:

I was invited
to an important conference
where many learned men from different countries
were all going to address the topic:

Where is God?

I was wearing my best clothes and had even fasted for a week,
hoping to sharpen my mind.
Just before I was to leave though,
I felt powerfully drawn to a little shrine in my bedroom,
and I went there and knelt to pray.

I could not believe what then happened:
Kali threw her arms around me and started tearing at my clothes,
then she started throwing delicious food into my mouth,
purposely missing several times it seemed,
thus soiling my pundit attire;

And then she made me perform many times as if I were her
husband; then she said, "Now, Kabir, don't be late for that
important talk, and don't change your clothes--
I like that love-stained look; maybe it will become chic?"

I arrived just as it was my turn to stand before this august crowd,
and apologized for my appearance.

"So Where is God?" the head of the conference says to me.

"Well (well, I stammered)
if you really want to know the
truth--if you hurry--you might
catch Her legs still spread
back at my
pad."