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I'm really low right now. I mean, looooowwww. It's bad - I wish I was bipolar so I'd have some kind of high to match the lows.
I was thinking to myself last night that depression is kind of like deep-sea diving. It's cold, there is this tremendous absence of light and enveloping, crushing pressure all around. I'm in a little bubble looking out at the life flowing by, but I can't partake in it - I can only watch, & the life I do see drifting outside my little submersible craft seems so strange and alien, see-through glowing fish that disappear once they move beyond arm's length. The familiar world of light and breathable air and sunlight on waves is very far away. Even moving through this dark water feels more like moving through thick black tar - there's no bouyancy, no weightless joy. The water at this depth only wants to sink me, down into the detritus at the ocean floor where sightless crabs will pick at my bones.
I was thinking to myself last night that depression is kind of like deep-sea diving. It's cold, there is this tremendous absence of light and enveloping, crushing pressure all around. I'm in a little bubble looking out at the life flowing by, but I can't partake in it - I can only watch, & the life I do see drifting outside my little submersible craft seems so strange and alien, see-through glowing fish that disappear once they move beyond arm's length. The familiar world of light and breathable air and sunlight on waves is very far away. Even moving through this dark water feels more like moving through thick black tar - there's no bouyancy, no weightless joy. The water at this depth only wants to sink me, down into the detritus at the ocean floor where sightless crabs will pick at my bones.
