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perzephone
This morning I woke thinking about the dream I had where I had spiders in my hair... and came to the realization that the spiders were dreams. I mean, yeah, in the dream I was traumatized and freaked out because, fuck, there were SPIDERS IN MY HAIR!!! but it wasn't like I stayed freaked out. Then I had personal encounters with live spiders, including an itsy bitsy one in my bed. Last night it seemed like I dreamed all night long. I know REM sleep travels in waves, so I probably wasn't literally dreaming for 10 hours straight, and I don't remember the dreams, but it felt like they were in my head all night, no blank space in between.
I layed there in bed last night, trying to visualize Las Vegas having a peaceful night, no bad dreams, no strife, everyone getting the restorative rest they need. Tried to visualize a silvery rain of quiet sleep falling on the city. I haven't been able to do any chakra visualizations lately or even work on Rob - it was going so well for a few weeks there - I think taking the break from the Elavil threw things out of whack for me. I have this anxiety before I fall asleep, I lay there thinking, "Will I be able to sleep tonight?" instead of doing anything productive with my hypnagogic state. Then, when I do fall asleep and wake the next morning, I wonder what I was so worried about. But I know tonight when I lay down, I'm going to be laying there thinking about insomnia. It's a vicious circle.
I layed there in bed last night, trying to visualize Las Vegas having a peaceful night, no bad dreams, no strife, everyone getting the restorative rest they need. Tried to visualize a silvery rain of quiet sleep falling on the city. I haven't been able to do any chakra visualizations lately or even work on Rob - it was going so well for a few weeks there - I think taking the break from the Elavil threw things out of whack for me. I have this anxiety before I fall asleep, I lay there thinking, "Will I be able to sleep tonight?" instead of doing anything productive with my hypnagogic state. Then, when I do fall asleep and wake the next morning, I wonder what I was so worried about. But I know tonight when I lay down, I'm going to be laying there thinking about insomnia. It's a vicious circle.
