Worst Mistake of My Life
Mar. 29th, 2007 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perzephone
I'm too fat for crutches. My entire body is one big ache. My thighs ache - my left one from trying to pick me up & set me down, my right one from trying to hold my right leg up. My back & shoulders hurt, whenever I go to stand up it's like a molten steel rod is being thrust up my spine. I feel, literally, 'as weak as a kitten'. I have to sit & concentrate & think about standing up. My life has become this whole new series of physical challenges and I was just not prepared. I'm supposed to do 'range of movement' exercises w/my right leg & there is a spot on the outside of my knee that just screams anytime I move anywhere. Taking a shower this morning was way more excitement and danger than any one person should have to live through & Rob never wants to witness my series of crutch-on-slippery-bathtub-floor acrobatics again. I just want to sit & cry from frustration... my hands hurt from holding myself up on the crutches. Rob keeps tripping on my crutches, too - no matter where I lay them down, they're in the way. Getting on & off the toilet is an exercise in balance and motor skills far beyond my normal ken & I just keep expecting to go splattering onto the floor because my hand is going to slip off the corner of the back of the tank one of these times.
I think getting this surgery was the worst mistake of my entire life. I don't know how I did it all those years ago with Penny. I know she didn't help me do jack, so how did I carry my coffee from the kitchen to the living room? I would kill for the ability to just put weight on my fucking leg.
Rob had a long, drawn out, over-emotional phone call from his sister & has been in a totally crappy mood all day & I can't even really hug him or offer any kind of comfort. I did get in a good two or three hour nap, slept really well for the first time since Monday night. At least my attitude is a little better. I just gave up & took two Darvocets instead of one. I also took my latest math quiz & for the first time in a long time, I feel confident that I only missed one answer. It just doesn't seem right that the interest on a 15-year, $301,000 mortgage at 8% would come out to almost as much as the original loan amount, some $200,000 dollars.
Boo-hoo, wah wah. Someone please shoot me & put me out of my misery.
I think getting this surgery was the worst mistake of my entire life. I don't know how I did it all those years ago with Penny. I know she didn't help me do jack, so how did I carry my coffee from the kitchen to the living room? I would kill for the ability to just put weight on my fucking leg.
Rob had a long, drawn out, over-emotional phone call from his sister & has been in a totally crappy mood all day & I can't even really hug him or offer any kind of comfort. I did get in a good two or three hour nap, slept really well for the first time since Monday night. At least my attitude is a little better. I just gave up & took two Darvocets instead of one. I also took my latest math quiz & for the first time in a long time, I feel confident that I only missed one answer. It just doesn't seem right that the interest on a 15-year, $301,000 mortgage at 8% would come out to almost as much as the original loan amount, some $200,000 dollars.
Boo-hoo, wah wah. Someone please shoot me & put me out of my misery.
