Word Play

Rob's right nut swells up after he ejaculates, more often than one would consider normal strain-related swelling. So he's sitting there, thinking about it (especially because it's far more swollen & intensely painful than the normal swelling & pain - I'm thinking hernia because he's not feeling anything really lumpy in there), and says to me, "There's just no right way to ask Dr. Guo about this... 'Doc, I know you're an Internal Medicine doctor, but do you handle testicles?' It took me a minute for how it sounded to really sink in, & then I totally cracked up. Me & Rob were both sitting there, trying that question out, sniggering like Beavis & Butthead... or actually more like hyaenas.

'Doc, do you look at testicles?'
'Doc, do you... examine testicles?'
'Doc, do you... see testicles?'
'Doc, would you look at my testicles?'

See, there's no politically correct or socially acceptable way to say that.

It was like the other night at work when me, Margie & Jeffrey (a slightly older, bald black man) were talking about chocolate chip cookies. Brad's wife makes what I call 'chocolate-death-chip cookies' because it's all chocolate chip & little to no cookie. I'm not a big fan of chocolate, there's something about it trying to be coffee & not quite making it, and so many candy manufacturers eliminate the true chocolate taste w/all the artificial flavors & sweeteners, anyway... but I digress. I said something along the lines of 'I am just not a big fan of chocolate.' & Jeffrey jumped right on that with, 'What's not to like about chocolate', suggestively waggling his eyebrows... and I almost blurted out, 'I just don't like the way it ta...' So I tried to think of other ways to say it without it sounding like I don't like to give oral sex to black men (which, if you ask Eric or any other boyfriends in my past is far from the truth). I just gave up & admitted, 'There's no way for me to explain how I feel about chocolate candy without getting into trouble, so I'm gonna shut the fuck up now!'