I <3 IE8

I have to admit, from what I've seen of it at work... I honestly like IE8. Not because it's got better browsing capability, or because they've revamped the skin or anything... but there are 2 major reasons why I upgraded whole-heartedly.

1) It loads faster.

2) InPrivate Browsing. No more cookies, y'all. It fucking works. I don't know where all those cookies are going, but they're not in my computer. For the past few days, icanhascheezburger.com has been crashing my IE7. I tried it w/IE8, more crashy-crashy. Turned on 'InPrivate Browsing - voila, no more crashy crashy. Obviously, it was a cookie issue.

I have another problem, though. Somehow I deleted a registry setting for Windows NT & I can't seem to restore it manually. Which means I have to repair Windows. Only my OEM disk doesn't give me a 'repair' option, only 'reinstall'. Yay. Another fucking reformat. Joy. I really need to go out & find a cheap version of WinXP on amazon.com or eBay & just buy the full thing instead of having to rely on my Recovery Disks. Blegh.

I do plan on finishing the Associates off, but I honestly don't want to do the computer tech thing for the rest of my life, especially with how fast it moves. I'm too old & can't keep up. An octo-core CPU is coming out in the next year or so - an octo-core. Fuck. I'm still waltzing around w/WinXP & Windows 7 is nearing the end of its beta testing. Don't even get me started on Linux... So, there's this idea I've been kicking around for some time. Pretty much since I realized I couldn't become a mortician without relocating. It seems very unlike me because I'm not a people person and I am really not an emotional-wreck-people person. But I think I might be suited for it. I do have talents and skills that would be beneficial to myself and others if I chose to put them to work. It's going to take some convincing for Rob & his family to go along with it, and I have to admit I'm not too keen on the notion of 4 - 8 more years of school myself, but UNLV does offer the degree program, which is in & of itself a sign since everything else I've researched involves moving.

I think I might actually look more into pursuing a career as a psychologist. One specializing in grief therapy or grief counseling. There's a whole sub-field of psychology called thanatology - centered around the death process. I believe I could bring a lot to the couch for the patient and possibly even the public in general through journals & publications. Not many people understand that death is a compassionate gift bestowed on us by wise and sad Gods. Eventually we reach the end of life, exhausted, broken, battered, or just tired. Some reach it with calm joy, some with bitterness and fear, but death turns away no one. It's the ultimate promise of a life well or even half lived. So many people who have been left behind are so lost, so wounded by this inevitable act that they die before their time, walking around like Rob, scared shitless of a certainty that he can never escape. People work so hard to make the most of every moment that they end up missing out on living and just being here now. I think I could help people do that. I think I could help people heal themselves.

The only thing we can do is be here now.

Cleaning

I'm throwing a buncha crap out. Started with my desk. We moved it last night & I filled up a large plastic storage bin just with crap I've accumulated on my desk. There's a little rolling cart with drawers in it & there are like, 3 drawers full of nothing but crayons, colored pencils, markers & pens. I am a pen collector - there, I've admitted it, the healing can begin.

I don't care much for gel pens. They smear and bleed. I like plain ol' ball-point pens, filled with whatever magical substance old-fashioned pens are filled. All my purple pens are dead. I've got all these pencils that I'll never use, markers, crayons, colored pencils, Sharpies & highlighters, but very few honest pens. Rob uses these awkward Bic pens with a clear hexagonal barrel - I found a whole bag of them. For some reason, he always steals my pens because he can't ever find his pens. Pisses me off. Of course, I'm sure if I dumped out my purse, I'd find a bunch of his pens because when we're out he always hands me his pens. I bought an assload of pencils because of my math classes. I don't know what I was thinking - I hardly ever use a pencil for anything. One or two would have lasted me through a Master's degree. When I make a mistake, I scratch it out or use White-Out. My mistakes have staying power. Erasers are for people who lack conviction when it comes to making mistakes.

I did find something nifty, though - an honest-to-goodness fountain pen. With refills. I used to be a calligraphic graffiti artist, constantly running around with ink-stained hands & mouth (ink flows better if the nibs are moistened).

Ah well, the fountain pen no longer fountains.

Well, I narrowed it down quite a bit. Went from a drawer full of pens to a cup full of pens that actually work. I didn't get rid of as much crap as I wanted to, mainly because... well, I can't throw away stuff like thumbtacks & safety pins & matches. But I definitely do not have to buy more, probably not for a very long time. When I told Rob I was going to be throwing stuff away, he said, "Let me look at everything first!" Rob is a big pack-rat. I'm trying to actively participate in the 'reduce' phase of 'reduce, reuse, recycle' but he hangs onto every scrap of material goods he can get his grubby hands on. I used to be able to pack my crap into a single suitcase - now I've got bookshelves full of crap other than books. He keeps whining that we need a bigger house, but to me a bigger house just means more crap. It never stops.

Something kind of funny happened to me today. I didn't get the office assistant position at the Recorder's Office, in spite of my nifty 'we're not just recording legal transactions, we're recording history!" catch-phrase. Last night as I was sitting here insomniafied, I was on the paganforum & someone had asked what the difference between a familiar, a spirit guide & a totem animal was. I gave my personal explanation of that & mentioned that totems could be animals that you wanted to embody or animals with qualities you wanted to encourage in yourself. I mentioned how my strongest totem is Bear, but I was trying to open a dialogue with Seal because I wanted to swim more comfortably in the watery realm of emotions, compassion and playfulness, and bring more of that element into my life. When I got off work today, Rob handed me a message from HR wanting me to interview for an office assistant position with the charmingly-named Water Reclamation District, aka the Sewage & Waste Treatment Department.

Thanks, Seal, for dredging that shit up.

A Selfish Meme

I'm going to an interview soon, and they always ask the hard questions, like 'What do you feel is your best quality?' and 'What do you feel are your weaknesses?' I never know how to answer these things.

So, in my best interest, with an open mind, and I promise not to get all pissy...

If you know me, or think you know me (or if you just read my blog & want to fuck with me):

What do you feel my three greatest qualities are?

What do you feel my three greatest weaknesses are?

How do you think I could improve myself?

What is the greatest challenge or adversity I've overcome?

How do I handle stressful situations?

How do I perform as a team member?

Why would I be an asset to an employer?

Yes, this will give you extra credit in a work-study program, lol.