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Depression Workbook
May. 22nd, 2011 08:18 am
The depression workbook I picked up is in the form of a long case study about a woman (her name is 'Janice') who's in banking. She explains to her therapist that she can't admit having any weakness because of her professional choices. I can understand and respect that. I've never been big on case studies, personally - too many Tarot books use example readings that break down like case studies. But in a way, it does give me a framework for answering the questions presented in the book.
I mean, I don't face the same kind of professional pressures that 'Janice' does by any means. Most of the people I work with have FMLA and use/abuse it pretty freely. Almost everyone I work with has some kind of condition or disease - diabetes, cancer, alcoholism/addiction, repetitive motion injuries like carpal tunnel, eating disorders, migraines, allergies, high blood pressure, you name it. If they don't personally have a problem, one of their kids does.
Granted, I do have a couple of problems. I have high blood pressure, related to kidney damage. I have scoliosis, allergies, polycystic ovaries & all the hormonal issues that entails... and depression. However, except for a brief period of time in which I had a knee fixed, a kidney stone surgery, and a two-week period of time following my brush with a stroke, I've never used anything wrong with me as an excuse to not go to work. In fact, I don't use any of my maladies as an excuse to do or not do anything. If I don't like something, I don't scream 'aagh, I'm allergic, get it away'!. I go to work when I'm on the rag, even if I've been on the rag, cramping & passing goose-egg-sized clots, for 6 months. If I'm walking to or from lunch w/someone, and they want to use the stairs instead of the elevator, I don't cry about my knee simply because my ass is lazy & I don't like climbing stairs. I don't even cry about it when my knees or back are bothering me, I just climb the damned stairs. My back has to be hurting pretty bad for me to bow out of sex w/Rob or stocking the front desk or changing the water cooler water bottles out. I take meds for the blood pressure, and they do wipe me out, but I've never cried off work because my blood pressure meds made me tired.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I do call out of work as often as I can financially get away with, and as long as my absence/tardy points give me some wiggle room. But when I call out of work, it's because I just don't want to go to work, or because I am legitimately & potentially contagiously sick. I don't go to work when I've got an obvious flu bug, but I have worked through pneumonia, bronchitis, sinus infections & kidney infections. It used to be worse - before I almost stroked out, I just rarely if ever called in sick. Since the stroke scare, I've gotten a tad bit more lackadaisical, but fuck... I'm a grown up & I can manage my absences in a slightly irresponsible manner that will not trigger my workaholic guilt too badly. About the most concrete thing I've done towards 'recovering' from workaholism is that I will not volunteer for overtime any more.
As far as my depression goes?
I cannot ever see myself calling into work because I am too depressed. Kill myself, yes. Call into work? No.
I mean, I don't face the same kind of professional pressures that 'Janice' does by any means. Most of the people I work with have FMLA and use/abuse it pretty freely. Almost everyone I work with has some kind of condition or disease - diabetes, cancer, alcoholism/addiction, repetitive motion injuries like carpal tunnel, eating disorders, migraines, allergies, high blood pressure, you name it. If they don't personally have a problem, one of their kids does.
Granted, I do have a couple of problems. I have high blood pressure, related to kidney damage. I have scoliosis, allergies, polycystic ovaries & all the hormonal issues that entails... and depression. However, except for a brief period of time in which I had a knee fixed, a kidney stone surgery, and a two-week period of time following my brush with a stroke, I've never used anything wrong with me as an excuse to not go to work. In fact, I don't use any of my maladies as an excuse to do or not do anything. If I don't like something, I don't scream 'aagh, I'm allergic, get it away'!. I go to work when I'm on the rag, even if I've been on the rag, cramping & passing goose-egg-sized clots, for 6 months. If I'm walking to or from lunch w/someone, and they want to use the stairs instead of the elevator, I don't cry about my knee simply because my ass is lazy & I don't like climbing stairs. I don't even cry about it when my knees or back are bothering me, I just climb the damned stairs. My back has to be hurting pretty bad for me to bow out of sex w/Rob or stocking the front desk or changing the water cooler water bottles out. I take meds for the blood pressure, and they do wipe me out, but I've never cried off work because my blood pressure meds made me tired.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I do call out of work as often as I can financially get away with, and as long as my absence/tardy points give me some wiggle room. But when I call out of work, it's because I just don't want to go to work, or because I am legitimately & potentially contagiously sick. I don't go to work when I've got an obvious flu bug, but I have worked through pneumonia, bronchitis, sinus infections & kidney infections. It used to be worse - before I almost stroked out, I just rarely if ever called in sick. Since the stroke scare, I've gotten a tad bit more lackadaisical, but fuck... I'm a grown up & I can manage my absences in a slightly irresponsible manner that will not trigger my workaholic guilt too badly. About the most concrete thing I've done towards 'recovering' from workaholism is that I will not volunteer for overtime any more.
As far as my depression goes?
I cannot ever see myself calling into work because I am too depressed. Kill myself, yes. Call into work? No.
