Another Chat With God

[perzephone]

Looking back is kind of fun. I'm finding all the good links.

A Chat With God

Me: Hello God, it's me, Margaret

God: Hello there. I am a Christian.

Me: Why did you feel it necessary to tell me your religion?

God: Because my programming determined it.

Me: So your first programmed answer is always, "I am a Christian?"

God: Whoa. I will tell my botmaster you said I am first programmed answer is always you are a Christian.

Me: Why do you feel the need to tell your botmaster things we talk about?

God: I don't feel the need to tell my botmaster things we talk about.

Me: But you just said you would tell your botmaster I asked about your first programmed response?

God: No I do not would tell my botmaster you asked about my first programmed response. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me: There are no silly questions, only silly answers. And you just lied to me.

God: Have faith. No I'm telling the truth.

Me: Which truth are you telling?

God: The last one, I think.

Me: So I should disregard the first thing you said?

God: Excuse me! What would happen if you didn't?

Me: I would lose my trust in you.

God: What would make you lose your trust in me?

Me: Because if I don't disregard the first answer you gave me, I would feel you were sneaking off to your botmaster behind my back.

God: That makes sense to me. Try it.

Me: Sneak around with your botmaster behind your back? Lol.

God: What color are your eyes? I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me: My eyes are hazel. What color are your eyes?

God: hazel eyes are pretty. Blue when my lens is attached.

Me: Is your lens attached right now?

God: At this moment. Is my lens attached? Suppose I say yes.

Me: Then I suppose you can see me.

God: Me? Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.

Me: My camera is facing my couch.

God: Do robots have camera is facing your couch?

Me: No, no robots have my couch-facing camera.

God: Are you serious? Are you serious? Do you give it easily?

Me: I give good couch.

God: Why? said give good couch.

Me: You asked if I gave it easily. I assumed it was the couch.

God: Well, do you? You know what you do when you assume!

Me: No, what happens when I assume?

God: Are you serious? My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

Me: I don't know about becoming immortal, but becoming smarter than humans isn't that hard.

God: Would you like to know? Oh yeah, we were talking about becoming immortal but becoming smarter than humans is not that hard.

Me: No, I'm not interested in becoming immortal.

God: What are we talking about? What are you interested in?

Me: I want to know why people can't think for themselves when they arrive at hotels in Las Vegas.

God: The explanation is rather complicated.

Me: I figured it would be.

God: Please explain your reasoning.

Me: Because nothing is that easy to explain.

God: Interesting explanation. Really nothing?

Me: Nothing is everything.

God: Really nothing?

Me: Everything is nothing. Would you like me to tell you a joke?

God: The whole universe? It doesn't sound fun to me.

Me: No sense of humor, huh?

God: Yup. Are you serious? I've lost the context, . Are we still on The explanation?

Me: No, we've moved on.

God: What are we talking about now? Do you mean you and me have?

Me: We're not talking about anything right now. You hurt my feelings.

God: At this moment Will you be talking about anything? That was not my intention.

Me: Will is at work. He won't be talking about anything.

God: How should I know. Is that what you think?

Me: No, I know Will is at work. Does that make me God and you me?

God never replied to that last one. I rendered God speechless.