I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Apr. 4th, 2004 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perzephoneHO hum... sort of a core dump I guess. Rob's sister came out last week for Alex's birthday & a visit. I was at least able to add some good news to someone's life - in about 3 yrs. she's planning on moving out here w/her future husband James. They're planning to get married out here on Hallowe'en '05. Of course, she can't tell her parents because they are racist motherfuckers & James is black. Anyway, she wants me to pin corsages on everyone & for Rob to be an usher. It's a 12-hr. ordeal they're planning, from noon to midnight. So my good news to her was that James, unlike what she's been hearing from her mom, would have little or no problem getting a job out here. He could be a bouncer at any number of night clubs making damned good $$$, or casino security, working for UPS or FedEx... in other words, if he wants to work, he'll be able to.
Rob still isn't working. Sometimes my own ethical code pisses me off... inflict no change upon anyone. All I can do is ask him to work, I can't make him. And I'm too anhedonic to nag.
I've discovered the joys of file-sharing, aka downloading music from the 'net via a program called KazaaLite+++. Right now I'm trying to compile a CD based on a tape the Hula Rat made for me lo these many Moons ago. It's kind of the soundtrack to my early life. Some of the songs are pretty obscure, so getting them from Kazaa has been hard, especially the ones by Wall of Voodoo, Stan Ridgway & Andy Prieboy.
Playlist:
1) Singapore by Tom Waits... memorable line: "In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king/so take this ring..."
2) Dead - They Might Be Giants... "I never apologized for when I was 8 & I made my younger brother be my personal slave"
3) Roadblock - Stan Ridgway... "They burned the car right there at Big Black Rock..."
4) Me In Honey - REM w/that chick from the B52's. "There's a fly in the honey, baby's got a baby w/me"
5) Where I'm Calling You From - Andy Prieboy... Me & the Hula Rat harbor a suspicion that this song is actually in part about her. She used to do photography for WOV... "She sends me polaroids/She sends me crystals/She's got my address & a semi-automatic pistol/She's my ex-wife/She's from my last life/She's out for vengeance, baby!"
6) The Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor.. poignant & meaningful to me "I'll talk but you won't listen to me"
7) Love You Like Hitler - MotorPsycho "You're the sauerkraut of my fuckin' eyes"
8) Damn, I Wish I Was a Man - Cindy Lee Berryhill "I could be sexy w/a Belly like Jack Nicholson"
9) My War - Black Flag "You're one of them!" :::snicker:::
10) Let's Ride - Sandy Rogers... some sort of country ballad about a man & his dually pick'emup truck
11) Paintwork - The Fall - instrumental. Instrumental in what, I'm not sure.
12) That's What You Always Say - Dream Syndicate... I can't remember any of the words from this, but it fits nicely w/Paintwork.
13) Good Luck - Exene Cervenka. She married someone famous.
14) Whole Lotta Love - Andy Prieboy. The first time I heard this I felt so betrayed.. a countryfried version of Led Zeppelin... but now I like it quite a bit.
15) Rio Greyhound - Stan Ridgway. The Hula Rat had such a crush on this guy.
16) I Wanna Be a Boss - Stan Ridgway... "We can watch Ice Station Zebra in the nude"
17) The Empty World - The Cure... "something something poison trees"
18) Take Me Back - Sushi & the Banshees... "She came back"
19) Like a Song - U2.. nope, no words in the memory banks
20) Factory - Wall of Voodoo featuring Stan Ridgway.. "something something Pink Mustang, fenders chrome"
21) Back in Flesh - WOV w/SR
22) Mexican Radio 12" - WOV w/SR "I hear the talk-beat, I'm the DJ, can't understand just what does he say?" Reminds me of going to Magic Mountain w/the Hula Rat & her bro & friends. What a great day.
23) Love is a Happy Thing - WOV w/SR "It puts the green right back in the bean/Love is a happy thing"
24) Tomorrow, Wendy - Andy Prieboy w/Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde "hey, hey, goodbye, tomorrow Wendy's going to die" I think this is about JFK - little known fact that his peeps called him Wendy. Why, I don't know.
25) Soul on Fire - LaVerne Baker. From the Angelheart movie, but not on the AngelHeart Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. It should be. It played when Mickey Rourke was having bloody Voodoo sex w/Lisa Bonet. It's a fantastic song... "But now you've set.. my soul... on fire... and I've really had my fun". Love it. But... when Rob & I were implementing plans to move to Louisiana, I was in the kitchen of the condo packing or cleaning or something, listening to this tape over & over, & from Rob's corner of the living room, somewhere behind my back, came a voice, singing along to this song. A male, gravelly voice, southern accent... all the hair on my body stood on end because I was all alone, & there was no activity from any of the surrounding condos. It was eerie. And I have something to admit. Even tho I see dead people, even tho I talk to dead people & they talk to me, it scares me senseless. When I saw the little ghost boy in the doorway of my kitchen I almost dropped the plate I was holding & started shaking like a leaf. When I hear weird noises I'm more likely to put the covers over my head than I am to investigate. And lemme tell you, when I heard that voice, similar but not quite like, my dad's, singing along to "Soul on Fire", I couldn't even turn around, let alone move. So now when I hear it, I worry that the singing ghost will come back.
Which reminds me - I watched Gothika the other night & Robert Downey Jr. tells Halle Berry "I don't believe in ghosts!" She replies "Neither do I, but they believe in me!" I was floored. That's my problem. They totally summed it up - I don't believe in ghosts, but they sure do believe in me.
Rob still isn't working. Sometimes my own ethical code pisses me off... inflict no change upon anyone. All I can do is ask him to work, I can't make him. And I'm too anhedonic to nag.
I've discovered the joys of file-sharing, aka downloading music from the 'net via a program called KazaaLite+++. Right now I'm trying to compile a CD based on a tape the Hula Rat made for me lo these many Moons ago. It's kind of the soundtrack to my early life. Some of the songs are pretty obscure, so getting them from Kazaa has been hard, especially the ones by Wall of Voodoo, Stan Ridgway & Andy Prieboy.
Playlist:
1) Singapore by Tom Waits... memorable line: "In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king/so take this ring..."
2) Dead - They Might Be Giants... "I never apologized for when I was 8 & I made my younger brother be my personal slave"
3) Roadblock - Stan Ridgway... "They burned the car right there at Big Black Rock..."
4) Me In Honey - REM w/that chick from the B52's. "There's a fly in the honey, baby's got a baby w/me"
5) Where I'm Calling You From - Andy Prieboy... Me & the Hula Rat harbor a suspicion that this song is actually in part about her. She used to do photography for WOV... "She sends me polaroids/She sends me crystals/She's got my address & a semi-automatic pistol/She's my ex-wife/She's from my last life/She's out for vengeance, baby!"
6) The Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor.. poignant & meaningful to me "I'll talk but you won't listen to me"
7) Love You Like Hitler - MotorPsycho "You're the sauerkraut of my fuckin' eyes"
8) Damn, I Wish I Was a Man - Cindy Lee Berryhill "I could be sexy w/a Belly like Jack Nicholson"
9) My War - Black Flag "You're one of them!" :::snicker:::
10) Let's Ride - Sandy Rogers... some sort of country ballad about a man & his dually pick'emup truck
11) Paintwork - The Fall - instrumental. Instrumental in what, I'm not sure.
12) That's What You Always Say - Dream Syndicate... I can't remember any of the words from this, but it fits nicely w/Paintwork.
13) Good Luck - Exene Cervenka. She married someone famous.
14) Whole Lotta Love - Andy Prieboy. The first time I heard this I felt so betrayed.. a countryfried version of Led Zeppelin... but now I like it quite a bit.
15) Rio Greyhound - Stan Ridgway. The Hula Rat had such a crush on this guy.
16) I Wanna Be a Boss - Stan Ridgway... "We can watch Ice Station Zebra in the nude"
17) The Empty World - The Cure... "something something poison trees"
18) Take Me Back - Sushi & the Banshees... "She came back"
19) Like a Song - U2.. nope, no words in the memory banks
20) Factory - Wall of Voodoo featuring Stan Ridgway.. "something something Pink Mustang, fenders chrome"
21) Back in Flesh - WOV w/SR
22) Mexican Radio 12" - WOV w/SR "I hear the talk-beat, I'm the DJ, can't understand just what does he say?" Reminds me of going to Magic Mountain w/the Hula Rat & her bro & friends. What a great day.
23) Love is a Happy Thing - WOV w/SR "It puts the green right back in the bean/Love is a happy thing"
24) Tomorrow, Wendy - Andy Prieboy w/Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde "hey, hey, goodbye, tomorrow Wendy's going to die" I think this is about JFK - little known fact that his peeps called him Wendy. Why, I don't know.
25) Soul on Fire - LaVerne Baker. From the Angelheart movie, but not on the AngelHeart Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. It should be. It played when Mickey Rourke was having bloody Voodoo sex w/Lisa Bonet. It's a fantastic song... "But now you've set.. my soul... on fire... and I've really had my fun". Love it. But... when Rob & I were implementing plans to move to Louisiana, I was in the kitchen of the condo packing or cleaning or something, listening to this tape over & over, & from Rob's corner of the living room, somewhere behind my back, came a voice, singing along to this song. A male, gravelly voice, southern accent... all the hair on my body stood on end because I was all alone, & there was no activity from any of the surrounding condos. It was eerie. And I have something to admit. Even tho I see dead people, even tho I talk to dead people & they talk to me, it scares me senseless. When I saw the little ghost boy in the doorway of my kitchen I almost dropped the plate I was holding & started shaking like a leaf. When I hear weird noises I'm more likely to put the covers over my head than I am to investigate. And lemme tell you, when I heard that voice, similar but not quite like, my dad's, singing along to "Soul on Fire", I couldn't even turn around, let alone move. So now when I hear it, I worry that the singing ghost will come back.
Which reminds me - I watched Gothika the other night & Robert Downey Jr. tells Halle Berry "I don't believe in ghosts!" She replies "Neither do I, but they believe in me!" I was floored. That's my problem. They totally summed it up - I don't believe in ghosts, but they sure do believe in me.
