perzephone | Epiphany

It's become strangely apparent to me that Seal is singing to me for a reason. It's deeper than just the eternal balancing act of mundane vs. spiritual, earth and water muddying up my mind...

For the past few weeks I fall asleep hearing the ocean, I smell it on the wind, I feel it in the air. The waters of the West are calling to me, and I ache deep inside for it. For all my yearning and longing, I can't make Seal come to me and give me answers. I cannot sit passively and call out to it, expecting it to come swimming up to me like an obediant sea-dog. If I want to find out what Seal has to tell me, or why it's come into my life like a tidal wave, I have to go swimming. It's completely up to me to reclaim my skin and catch the Seal. I know where the skin is, I just have to find the key or break open the doors with the strength of my heart and let the flood loose.

I want, more than anything, to live a life of the spirit as well as of the mundane. Like Seal, I believe I can stand with one foot in the sea and one firmly on the shore, grounded and centered in both elements. I want to find work that is meaningful, uplifting and purposeful, and I want to live a life in the spiritual world that is also meaningful, uplifting and purposeful. I know other people have done it, I just have to actively find a way to do it for myself. I know I need to bring music back into my life, and I know that in order for me to be able to get much further, I need to get out of this desert and go home.

I believe I do have things I can teach, and I believe I may have to lay claim to my knowledge instead of constantly negating it. I have been on my path for quite some time, and the lessons I've learned are mine - I have not stolen them, they are not illegitimate and the lack of lineage does not render them invalid. I have earned them and they are rightful and true. I can tell the passage of time and I know the seasons passing and I can follow the tides and I can smell a bear on the ice above me - and I am the Bear and I can smell the Seal below me.

Thank you, Coyote, for bringing me to this place. You have been a good guide, no matter what anyone says about you.

Deeper Well by Emmylou Harris

The sun burned hot, it burned my eyes
Burned so hot I thought I'd died
Thought I'd died and gone to hell
Lookin' for the water from a deeper well

I went to the river but the river was dry
I fell to my knees an I looked to the sky
I looked to the sky and the spring rain fell
I saw the water from a deeper well

Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well
Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well

I was ready for love I was ready for the money
Ready for the blood and ready for the honey
Ready for the winnin', ready for the bell
Lookin' for the water from a deeper well

I found some love and I found some money
Found that blood would drip from the honey
Found I had a thirst that I could not quell
Lookin' for the water from a deeper well

Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well
Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well

Well I did it for kicks and I did it for faith
I did it for lust and I did it for hate
I did it for need and I did it for love
Addiction stayed on tight like a glove

So I ran with the moon and I ran with the night
And the three of us were a terrible sight
Nipple to the bottle to the gun to the cell
To the bottom of a hole of a deeper well

Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well
Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well

I rocked with the cradle and I rolled with the rage
I shook those walls and I rattled that cage
I took my trouble down a deadend trail
Reachin' out a hand for a holier grail

Hey there mama did you carry that load
Did you tell your baby 'bout the bend in the road
'Bout the rebel yell 'bout the one that fell
Lookin' for the water from a deeper well

Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well
Well...lookin for the water from a deeper well