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perzephone
I took some time to write down a couple of my fears & see if there was anything I could do towards solving those fears.
Two of the fears I have involve me & Rob. I'm honestly afraid to express any of the moonier, New-Agey namby-pamby aspects of my own spirituality. I do have them from time to time, I just don't act on them or talk about them. Especially not around Rob. I'm dark, self-centered and lazy, but Rob has all that and he can be quite derisive when it comes to people acting compassionately. So I shared with him that I would like to act a little more positively and work on my healing abilities. He apologized to me for acting in a way that would make me hesitant towards letting my 'light' side shine & said he would do his best to support me, even if he himself would not be willing to donate time or money to anything. Which I can understand, because we're fucking broke all the time.
We talked a little bit more about my pursuing a psychology degree, and he had some good points on it. Considering how much I hate the whole school process, I don't have to hurry into it, declare a degree & commit myself to 4 - 8 years of graduate-level work. I can start with a couple of classes a semester, get a feel for it, maybe do some internship work & then make an informed decision.
In other news, went to the urologist today about my two enormous freakin' kidney stones. One is buried in the meat of my kidney & honestly isn't going anywhere & probably won't get any bigger or move. It's like a cyst. The other is going to cause me problems & will need treatment, probably in the form of sonic pulses that will break it up into passable gravel. Yay. The urologist said I looked like the kind of person who would have a high pain tolerance & probably won't even notice the broken stone passing, but she would give me drugs if I asked. I don't know about high pain tolerance, but I remember when my dad passed a kidney stone. He was laying in the back seat of our Pinto screaming like a stuck pig. I was like, 3 or 4 & it scared the crap outta me. I am not looking forward to that experience, but I need to get it out of there since I've got a chronic kidney infection from it that is scarring my kidney & raising my blood pressure. Gah.
Two of the fears I have involve me & Rob. I'm honestly afraid to express any of the moonier, New-Agey namby-pamby aspects of my own spirituality. I do have them from time to time, I just don't act on them or talk about them. Especially not around Rob. I'm dark, self-centered and lazy, but Rob has all that and he can be quite derisive when it comes to people acting compassionately. So I shared with him that I would like to act a little more positively and work on my healing abilities. He apologized to me for acting in a way that would make me hesitant towards letting my 'light' side shine & said he would do his best to support me, even if he himself would not be willing to donate time or money to anything. Which I can understand, because we're fucking broke all the time.
We talked a little bit more about my pursuing a psychology degree, and he had some good points on it. Considering how much I hate the whole school process, I don't have to hurry into it, declare a degree & commit myself to 4 - 8 years of graduate-level work. I can start with a couple of classes a semester, get a feel for it, maybe do some internship work & then make an informed decision.
In other news, went to the urologist today about my two enormous freakin' kidney stones. One is buried in the meat of my kidney & honestly isn't going anywhere & probably won't get any bigger or move. It's like a cyst. The other is going to cause me problems & will need treatment, probably in the form of sonic pulses that will break it up into passable gravel. Yay. The urologist said I looked like the kind of person who would have a high pain tolerance & probably won't even notice the broken stone passing, but she would give me drugs if I asked. I don't know about high pain tolerance, but I remember when my dad passed a kidney stone. He was laying in the back seat of our Pinto screaming like a stuck pig. I was like, 3 or 4 & it scared the crap outta me. I am not looking forward to that experience, but I need to get it out of there since I've got a chronic kidney infection from it that is scarring my kidney & raising my blood pressure. Gah.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-16 12:43 am (UTC)Least I have my mum and online buddies to share with :)
OUCH kidney stones, my friend had one and saw a naturopath and passed it with little pain.
*hugs u better*
The Stones Are In Me...
Date: 2009-05-16 01:38 am (UTC)OUCH kidney stones, my friend had one and saw a naturopath and passed it with little pain.
The ones I have aren't passable - they're freakin' huge. One is 12mm x 6mm & the other is 8mm x 5mm. Those things aint coming out on their own. The doc would just leave the bigger one alone except it's in the bottom of my kidney where it will get bigger & eventually cause a blockage. Plus, it's playing a big part in a chronic kidney infection - so it's gotta go. I have to admit I'm a little nervous about the sonic pulse procedure - it can cause bruising, bleeding and has the potential to actually rupture the kidney. I'm opting for the catheter laser surgery if it's at all possible.