A Numerical Meme

[perzephone]

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to People:

1) Whenever I hear Shinedown’s Sound of Madness I think of you. It’s not a good thing, really, or a backwards compliment, either. And yes, I’m still laughing like Hell.

2) I think you’re more than a wee bit pretentious and full of yourself, and sometimes I wish you’d take a break from sharing all your merits with us.

3) You, my dear, are fucking psycho. I mean, seriously. You’re nuts. You could use a good psychiatrist and probably some medication. I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself and/or someone else at some point in the not-too-distant future.

4) I love you with all my heart and soul, and I’m so happy that you’re back in my life, even if it’s from a million miles, and too many years, away.

5) I wish you would just fucking die already.

6) I can relate to you on so many levels. I think you’re beautiful, and if life were different, we’d be together, right to the end of the trail.

7) You should have stayed in Vegas. Come back to Vegas. No, seriously, come back. We need you here. The desert misses you and the rains don’t come nearly enough since you left.

8) Hard to believe there’s two people I feel this way about: I wish you would just fucking die already. Quit texting me dirty jokes, while you’re at it. It’s obnoxious.

9) Get some help, for fuck’s sake. You’re too old for this juvenile emotional-wreck crap.

10) Get a job.

Nine things about myself:
1) I’ve hated my periods since I got the first one and I’m so freakin’ happy I finally found a doctor who is willing to make them go away. Y’all have no idea.

2) I feel bad for hating myself when I’m on the rag, and for hating my periods. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, especially being Pagan. Pagan women are supposed to be full of this awesome, powerful Menstrual Pride… but I just want to cut myself in half every time I bleed.

3) I can’t stand 98% of what’s on t.v. I think it’s all inane.

4) I’ve forgiven everyone who has damaged me. I refuse to live in the past, and hanging on to all that anger and resentment has kept me in the past for far too long.

5) I’m afraid of the future, which is why I refuse to dwell on it as much as I refuse to dwell on the past.

6) I’m terrified of actually finishing my degree. I feel comfortable in limbo.

7) I always feel like I have no idea what the Hell I’m doing whenever I have to fill out an application, and it gets worse when I have an interview.

8) I put on a good act, but I have no self-confidence whatsoever.

9) I don’t know if I hate salespeople or am terrified of them in the way most people are terrified of clowns. Going to Walker Furniture & car dealerships makes me panicky, because I know I’ll encounter one or more salespeople who will want to pressure me into buying something just to make them go away. I turned tail & ran out of the mall one day & walked around the entire building to a different entrance because of a pushy cosmetics saleslady at a booth just inside the entrance I originally walked through.

Eight ways to win my heart:

(This is difficult, because I am not romantic…
1) Do not serenade me or force me to get up on stage at a karaoke bar

2) Know what the answer to Life, the Universe & Everything is, without prompting.

3) No live flowers. I can’t stand to watch them slowly wilt and die.

4) Take me to a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and bring toast.

5) Dance with me in the rain

6) Bring me to the ocean and swim with me

7) Drape me in amber and jet

8) Wear antlers and a loincloth often - if you’re male, anyway.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1) “Wonder what that person would do if I, without warning or provocation, reached out and poked them in the eye?”

2) “Wonder what that person would do if I, without warning or provocation, reached out, grabbed their nose and twisted it really, really hard?”
(No, seriously, those two things are probably the most common thoughts I have. Scary. To my credit, I have not acted on them. Yet.)

3) “How many times will Rob ask me what day it is today?”

4) “Wonder what he’d do if I kicked him in the head the next time he asks me what day it is?”

5) “I hate this place.”

6) “How does anyone that stupid make it past childhood?”

7) “It’s not rocket surgery!”

Six things I do before I fall asleep:
1) Set my alarm clocks

2) Shake out the bedding

3) Scan ceiling for scorpions

4) Brush mah teef

5) Take the dog out for her last potty break

6) Thank the Great Mystery for the day, the night, the weather & various random things I think of while I’m out there.

Five places I want to visit:
1) Greece

2) the island of Molokai in Hawaii

3) the Atlantis Resort in the British Virgin Islands

4) the Florida Keys

5) Haiti

Four things I'm wearing right now:
1) My wedding ring

2) A red hairband

3) A blue cotton nightie

4) Dog hair.

Three bands artists that I listen to often:
Just lately, it’s been:
1) Seether

2) Shinedown

3) Slipknot

Two things I want to do before I die:
1) Get a career instead of a job

2) Poke some unsuspecting, random person in the eye, just to find out what someone does in that situation.

One confession:
I’m kind of worried about my memory lapses. I thought maybe they’d go away but they seem to be getting more frequent. I should tell one of my many doctors, but… eh.