Writer's Block: Thanks for the Input
Aug. 18th, 2009 08:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perzephone
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It's funny, I'm rarely, if ever, the receiver of advice. I rarely, if ever, ask for advice. People come to me for advice, which to me is nearing insane because my life is not a good example of success or good decisions.
I think what's more telling is the advice I never received, even when I did ask for it. I always had my parents, sisters, friends, guidance counselors, therapists, etc. telling me, "Oh, you're so smart! Whatever you decide to do, you'll succeed! You can be anything you want, do anything you want to do!"
No one ever tried to stop me when I decided to drop out of high school, not even those guidance counselors or principals or teachers who thought I was so brilliant, such a shining star... no one. Everyone just said to me, "Well, if it's what you want to do, go ahead & drop out." I received a hefty trust fund when I hit 18 - not one of my relatives told me to invest that money in my future. Instead, they were all standing there with their hands out.
Twenty years later, I'm a middle-aged slacker who still doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up. I job-hop incessantly. It's taken me five years to get a three-year associates degree - and I'm still not quite done with it. I feel this constant nagging sense of misdirection and dissatisfaction with everything I do.
I know teenagers are probably the most difficult thing on the planet to try & communicate with. You can probably have greater success having deep intellectual discussions with rocks or mealworms, especially when they counter every single thing with, "You can't tell me what to do!" but damn... telling me I could be the first woman president of the United States (and hey, I still have a shot at it - too bad I hate politicians) wasn't taking my interests or aptitudes into account, and it definitely wasn't giving me any direction or guidance.
It's funny, I'm rarely, if ever, the receiver of advice. I rarely, if ever, ask for advice. People come to me for advice, which to me is nearing insane because my life is not a good example of success or good decisions.
I think what's more telling is the advice I never received, even when I did ask for it. I always had my parents, sisters, friends, guidance counselors, therapists, etc. telling me, "Oh, you're so smart! Whatever you decide to do, you'll succeed! You can be anything you want, do anything you want to do!"
No one ever tried to stop me when I decided to drop out of high school, not even those guidance counselors or principals or teachers who thought I was so brilliant, such a shining star... no one. Everyone just said to me, "Well, if it's what you want to do, go ahead & drop out." I received a hefty trust fund when I hit 18 - not one of my relatives told me to invest that money in my future. Instead, they were all standing there with their hands out.
Twenty years later, I'm a middle-aged slacker who still doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up. I job-hop incessantly. It's taken me five years to get a three-year associates degree - and I'm still not quite done with it. I feel this constant nagging sense of misdirection and dissatisfaction with everything I do.
I know teenagers are probably the most difficult thing on the planet to try & communicate with. You can probably have greater success having deep intellectual discussions with rocks or mealworms, especially when they counter every single thing with, "You can't tell me what to do!" but damn... telling me I could be the first woman president of the United States (and hey, I still have a shot at it - too bad I hate politicians) wasn't taking my interests or aptitudes into account, and it definitely wasn't giving me any direction or guidance.
