Gallows Humor
Mar. 28th, 2011 11:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perzephone
The last page of my registration packet for the therapy clinic appointment is in the form of three essay questions. I'm trying to be honest, but I can't help being mildly funny at the same time. I probably come across as flippant, but it's my emotional illness and I'll be flippant if I want. I feel weird about the whole thing - I had to sign a consent form to be treated by interns. I don't think this place takes mental health seriously. Of course, I may be committed tomorrow.
1. Describe the recent events of problems you have been having that led you to seek mental health services.
I've always had depression but over the past year & a half, it's gotten deeper and more severe. I used to have a few good months out of every year, now I'm lucky to get a good day every few months. I feel like I'm acting whenever a situation arises that would normally incite a normal person to have an emotional response, & it's been getting harder to put on that act. I've been wondering if maybe I have brain damage or something. I'm exhausted all the time but can't sleep. And yes, I do think about suicide almost daily, but I've had past failures (obviously) & am not planning anything immediate.
2. Describe how the problems above affect your daily functioning.
- Memory lapses increasing - at home & at work
- Having trouble saying the correct words for common items & concepts. My brain knows the correct term but my mouth says weird random things. Freaks my coworkers out a little.
- I don't really enjoy anything anymore. In fact, I barely feel anything at all - joy, anger, sympathy, frustration - I know it upsets my husband & dog.
- More sleep disturbances
- Alcohol isn't even appealing anymore
3. Describe any significant events in the past or current stressful experiences that might be affecting you today.
- Turning 37 - I'm not prepared to be this old, or get any older
- Graduating from college & still sucking at everything
- Almost stroking out. Anything that hurt that bad should have killed me, and I'm kind of mad that it didn't.
- Having to return to a job I hated. They put red carpet on the walls of my office, I'm cramped into a tiny corner & I may become obsolete at the end of the year.
1. Describe the recent events of problems you have been having that led you to seek mental health services.
I've always had depression but over the past year & a half, it's gotten deeper and more severe. I used to have a few good months out of every year, now I'm lucky to get a good day every few months. I feel like I'm acting whenever a situation arises that would normally incite a normal person to have an emotional response, & it's been getting harder to put on that act. I've been wondering if maybe I have brain damage or something. I'm exhausted all the time but can't sleep. And yes, I do think about suicide almost daily, but I've had past failures (obviously) & am not planning anything immediate.
2. Describe how the problems above affect your daily functioning.
- Memory lapses increasing - at home & at work
- Having trouble saying the correct words for common items & concepts. My brain knows the correct term but my mouth says weird random things. Freaks my coworkers out a little.
- I don't really enjoy anything anymore. In fact, I barely feel anything at all - joy, anger, sympathy, frustration - I know it upsets my husband & dog.
- More sleep disturbances
- Alcohol isn't even appealing anymore
3. Describe any significant events in the past or current stressful experiences that might be affecting you today.
- Turning 37 - I'm not prepared to be this old, or get any older
- Graduating from college & still sucking at everything
- Almost stroking out. Anything that hurt that bad should have killed me, and I'm kind of mad that it didn't.
- Having to return to a job I hated. They put red carpet on the walls of my office, I'm cramped into a tiny corner & I may become obsolete at the end of the year.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-29 02:38 am (UTC)Non Committal
Date: 2011-03-29 06:57 pm (UTC)The intake (agent? representative? intern?) person kind of threw me for a loop, though. I expected him to ask if I was having suicidal thoughts, but then he asked if I was having homicidal thoughts.
"Well, I do work in the service industry, but today is my day off, so no".
His reply? "We get that answer a lot".