The Pendulum Swings Ever Closer...
May. 15th, 2005 12:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perzephone
Well, I decided Weds. night to go over the head of the great rumor mill at work & call CIT (aka Chaos In Technology, formerly MIS, Missing In Service). According to the wise & very upset oracles hidden away in some drafty server room, they've started upgrading The Hotel & Mandalay Bay to the UPS system, which is a Unix/Unisys tandem system engineered by Tandy computers. Been awhile since anyone's heard that name, huh? We used Unix at the Partyline, one of the phone sex places I worked for. I'm sure the MGM/Mirage has is a bit more customized for hotel use than for adult entertainment.
Anyway, apparently after they finish w/The Hotel & Mandalay Bay, we'll be next, which means mid June to mid July. They probably won't have a "hotel night audit" department. The MGM/Mirage clerks do blind drops, which basically means they don't balance their own work - whatever they have at the end of the night is whatever they turn in, correct or not, and the sign-offs are submitted to the non-gaming accounting department. What will left to be seen is if there is a basic 'hotel auditor' as part of the non-gaming accounting department, someone who compiles all the hotel information & submits it to non-gaming accounting, or if they're just going to assign a non-gaming accountant to do that work.
So now all the clerks are panicking: "What, we can't check to see if we balance anymore? We won't have an idea of how much we're supposed to turn in? What happens if the accounting department is dishonest and they just start canning people left & right? We won't have any paperwork to back ourselves up? They'll probably take away our 20 minutes to bank out!
Waaaaah?!!"
And all the other auditors from the other hotels are panicking, not to mention CIT themselves. And who's been hearing all their woes & fears for the past week? Me.I feel very much like Cassandra right now - a year ago, when we first learned of this merger, I told them all what may eventually happen, and no one believed me, but now that it's becoming a reality, they're coming crying to me. I worry that when I provide no viable solutions, I'll be one of the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
They're in the process of selling off Circus-Circus & Slots-A-Fun right now. The MGM/Mirage people aren't real keen on the 'family friendly' line of entertainment. I'll be curious to see what happens to Ye Olde Fantasy Faire & the Tournament of Kings dinnershow in the coming months. The TOK is already up to $55 bucks a person, but they're still serving the same food as they were when the show was only $19.95.
So what am I to do? I'm in this weird situation where I have no one I can turn to for advice, mainly because no one is entirely unbiased. Rob's folks want us to stay in Vegas, Jody wants me to stay in Vegas, Rob's sister wants us to stay in Vegas. Everyone I talk to says, "Oh, stay Janelle - you can't leave again. We need you here. What would we do without you?" No one seems to realize that I am just basically a husk and I have nothing left to give. I have nothing left for myself, let alone other people. When people ask me for advice, I honestly try to see it from their point of view - "Do what's best for you and make an attempt to be happy."
I know that if we stay in town, we need to move to a different, scorpion-free place. If we move out of town, there's all these fear & unknown variables. The last two times we've moved out of town, for one horribly disappointing reason or another, we've had to come back. If I move again, I don't want to come back... and I've said that twice before, just being w/Rob, not counting all those other times w/Jody, Terry, my dad, their dad, etc. & so forth. But I know if we do move again, either Rob won't be able to get work or I'll be either over/underqualified to get good-paying work and the apartments will be too expensive, or because we're 'transient' we won't get work til it's too late.
I've never expected to be happy - I don't have high expectations, I'm not high maintenance. I'd just like to be somewhere doing something that makes me a little less unhappy.
As Train said it, "I've never had a day in my life where money didn't get in my way."
Anyway, apparently after they finish w/The Hotel & Mandalay Bay, we'll be next, which means mid June to mid July. They probably won't have a "hotel night audit" department. The MGM/Mirage clerks do blind drops, which basically means they don't balance their own work - whatever they have at the end of the night is whatever they turn in, correct or not, and the sign-offs are submitted to the non-gaming accounting department. What will left to be seen is if there is a basic 'hotel auditor' as part of the non-gaming accounting department, someone who compiles all the hotel information & submits it to non-gaming accounting, or if they're just going to assign a non-gaming accountant to do that work.
So now all the clerks are panicking: "What, we can't check to see if we balance anymore? We won't have an idea of how much we're supposed to turn in? What happens if the accounting department is dishonest and they just start canning people left & right? We won't have any paperwork to back ourselves up? They'll probably take away our 20 minutes to bank out!
Waaaaah?!!"
And all the other auditors from the other hotels are panicking, not to mention CIT themselves. And who's been hearing all their woes & fears for the past week? Me.I feel very much like Cassandra right now - a year ago, when we first learned of this merger, I told them all what may eventually happen, and no one believed me, but now that it's becoming a reality, they're coming crying to me. I worry that when I provide no viable solutions, I'll be one of the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
They're in the process of selling off Circus-Circus & Slots-A-Fun right now. The MGM/Mirage people aren't real keen on the 'family friendly' line of entertainment. I'll be curious to see what happens to Ye Olde Fantasy Faire & the Tournament of Kings dinnershow in the coming months. The TOK is already up to $55 bucks a person, but they're still serving the same food as they were when the show was only $19.95.
So what am I to do? I'm in this weird situation where I have no one I can turn to for advice, mainly because no one is entirely unbiased. Rob's folks want us to stay in Vegas, Jody wants me to stay in Vegas, Rob's sister wants us to stay in Vegas. Everyone I talk to says, "Oh, stay Janelle - you can't leave again. We need you here. What would we do without you?" No one seems to realize that I am just basically a husk and I have nothing left to give. I have nothing left for myself, let alone other people. When people ask me for advice, I honestly try to see it from their point of view - "Do what's best for you and make an attempt to be happy."
I know that if we stay in town, we need to move to a different, scorpion-free place. If we move out of town, there's all these fear & unknown variables. The last two times we've moved out of town, for one horribly disappointing reason or another, we've had to come back. If I move again, I don't want to come back... and I've said that twice before, just being w/Rob, not counting all those other times w/Jody, Terry, my dad, their dad, etc. & so forth. But I know if we do move again, either Rob won't be able to get work or I'll be either over/underqualified to get good-paying work and the apartments will be too expensive, or because we're 'transient' we won't get work til it's too late.
I've never expected to be happy - I don't have high expectations, I'm not high maintenance. I'd just like to be somewhere doing something that makes me a little less unhappy.
As Train said it, "I've never had a day in my life where money didn't get in my way."
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-16 04:20 pm (UTC)I say that if you are going to go, investigate the place first. Send out resumes and such. We sit on the net all the time, make it work for you. Then there is your overall sense of faith. You have to have to have some sort of direction and it needs to feel right. This floating around in a apathetic haze isnt a life. For whatever reason, you are here and until its time for you to keel over, you might as well do something with the breath you have.
You have been living the same way for so long. When are you going to get out of it? When are you going to stop moping around and get on with life? If things are shitty, change them! What is really holding you back? To say you dont care isnt true because I know you do actually want something more than what has been replaying in your life over and over again. I remember you posting a long time ago about how you knew so many people that were talented and didnt actually use what they had and it was a shame. Well Im looking at someone right now who has the capability to get her -own- degrees, to find her OWN place and to live on her OWN if she didnt just accept the slacker attitude she has to live with day in and day out. You ARE intelligent and curious. You ARE strong and you DO care about your life.
There have been many signs up til now but you chose to ride this thing to its very end. And once its over, what else will happen? Nothing..Rob isnt going to change..his family isnt going to change..Jody isnt going to change..But you CAN change. Its the only thing in your life you have full control over.
I say GET UP AND GET MOVING! I say stop believing you are less because its safe! I say fuck everyone who is too lazy to actually live a life when you know you want more! Giving into your fears hasnt made your life any better and it never will. If the people in your life whine and bitch, remind yourself that you are a grown woman and have MORE than taken care of ALL your business for years. Its YOUR turn to go where you want. You CAN make it happen!!
I told you that I was getting my tubes tied and you didnt believe me. I have lived my life the same way for a long time now. I have been trapped by the same beliefs that only benefited the people around me and not my own soul. I have my goals. They arent dreams anymore because Im determined not to spend the rest of my life as I was. Im too old for that shit and so are you.
You cant let the incredible woman I know die in a mass of apathy and fear. You are who you are for a reason that wont ever die no matter how much everyone in your life has tried to push it down with their crap.
Well, I said my 15 cents worth. I may not talk to you alot but I keep the woman that I love and respect in you close to my heart. I wont forget her. She is still my first best friend I ever had.
Yah, yah, bitch at me all ya want...
Date: 2005-05-17 07:33 am (UTC)Good to know your whole water situation has cleared up. Keep drinking!