Namaste, Bitches

This is a generic astrological chart done by Astrodienst

It is creepily accurate.

Sun in Capricorn
Moon in Pisces
Ascendant in Scorpio
Mars in the Sixth House
Sun in the Second House
Venus in the Third House
Moon in the Fifth House
Saturn in the Eighth House

Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Pisces

Your astrological combination indicates a quiet, undemonstrative individual. You are retiring by nature and prefer domestic activities. A somewhat passive person, you require a stronger force or person to move you out of your state of psychological inertia. Much about you is concentrated and inner-directed.

You seek integrity of self. You make a good friend and confidant, for you never reveal a secret that has been told to you. But you don't allow friends and associates to penetrate beneath your outermost mask. You deal well with people in unfortunate positions, because they arouse the compassion inherent in your Moon influence. Under favorable circumstances, your psychic and mystic tendencies could be awakened. The key to a more harmonious existence lies in using your organizing ability to establish a more active life. You possess a high degree of innate ambition and perseverance.

Ascendant in Scorpio, Mars in the Sixth House

At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Scorpio was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mars is located in the sixth house.

Your life will be marked by your shrewd, secretive, obstinate, clever, and reserved disposition. You remain an enigma: with these traits, your life events could be either very tragic or very fortunate. To which category of Scorpio do you belong? There are two types, the extremely emotional, attracted by those pathological aspects of biological relationship, or the highly mystical, concerned with spirituality.

You are a person of extremes, very sensitive and desirous of attachment. There is some attraction to the occult or to psychic phenomena. You are active in the sense that there is a psychological struggle going on inside you between the positive and negative poles-those of affirming and satisfying or rejecting and repressing. You are very intense in your feelings and remain passionately attached to the person you love. Similarly, when you dislike someone you are very fixed in that feeling. However, there is room for optimism in that: whatever type of Scorpio you may happen to be, there exists a desire deep in your inner self for psychic regeneration.

At some point in your life, after the occurrence of a major dramatic event that will affect you deeply, the goal and entire expression of your ego may alter entirely. The intensity and profundity of your passion, however, will always be constant. You have a tendency to go into the shadows and secretly plan the course of action you will take, reluctant to let others know the exact nature of your mood or feelings. In your sexual affairs you are full of passion and strong attachment.

Exert more control over your passions; don't be so resentful of others. Use your strong will and character for favorable and beneficial things.

You have a strong inclination to be involved in medicine, perhaps even surgery. You are attracted by research and investigation in general.

This position indicates that your actions will be geared to work. You are going to be very energetic in work and enthusiastic in all labor-type duties. Your treatment of other people in work will be liberal and sympathetic, but when they respond in a similar manner you become angry and over-authoritative. People with Mars in the sixth house should be their own bosses or carry on independently in business as when they are subordinate to others there is a tendency to work too hard.

Sun in the Second House

The Sun was found in the second house at the time of your birth. This position makes financial matters - and the act of physical conquest and possession - the central motivation of your existence.

It is virtually a necessity that you address yourself to gaining material security. The obligations of giving still exist for you as a real difficulty which you must learn to deal with.

You should enjoy your own wealth and also instruct yourself in the art of giving. You wish to be respected in financial matters and like to be regarded as a person who is self- sufficient.

There exists a great amount of faith in your abilities; you believe that no matter what happens, you will always endure financially. These influences of the Sun grant strong possibilities for success in life.

Your weaknesses in money include a tendency to be very demonstrative, a desire for money because of the power it wields. As you reach mature age, the doors of opportunity will open for you through persons highly placed in government. Don't miss the chance.

Venus in the Third House

Venus was in the third house of your horoscope at the time of birth. You are keenly interested in the creative arts, and your thoughts and words are surrounded by a halo of beauty, taste, and proportion. Your mind actually feels the emotions connected with nature and the higher aspects of things human. Venus here augurs pleasant and kind relations with members of your family; the disposition of your intellect is congenial, youthful, and attractive.

The keys to a better integration of both your mental and emotional functions consist of deepening your personal relationships and of turning the mind inward so that you may be able to know the world better by means of true self-knowledge.

Moon in the Fifth House

The Moon was found in the fifth house at the time of your birth. This indicates that you will participate actively in business speculations with many changes occurring in this respect. You were born with a knack for dealing with people and with the ability to communicate with them, particularly in connection with business enterprises.

Your emotional nature is very much geared to your love of pleasure, and you possess a very curious aptitude which may bring you financial gains as well as pleasures in business.

In spite of the positive qualities you have, the fact of the matter is that in love you are very changeable, unstable, or too preoccupied with trivialities.

Your love feelings are very well developed and lead to strong drives for sensations and passionate tendencies which unfortunately are not directed to one object alone.

It is possible that throughout life you may be connected with small and numerous business investments with a fairly good return.

Note: The Moon is technically near the end of house 4 and is therefore interpreted in house 5.

Saturn in the Eighth House

Saturn was found in the eighth house at the time of birth. Because of the restraining influence of this planet, matters concerning legacies, inheritance, and the financial dealings of your partner or associates could be severely limited and may be frustrated by what seems to be harsh fate.

Psychologically you are rather serious in connection with sexual affairs. You approach sex with caution, rationality and planning. Excess reason and thought in this direction may create some frustration in sexual matters.


Pretty scary.

What is also scary is that something's been knocking on the walls. Loudly. It's getting annoying.

Last night I pulled out Thurisaz for the answer to 'What is my Cross'?

The challenge I face, consistently and constantly, throughout my lifetime. Thurisaz - the earthen resistance of the ancient giants, the moldthur, and the passive defensiveness of thorns. Interestingly enough, it is also the generative power of masculinity, so maybe my cross to bear is my father's legacy in me. That restless wandering homeless aimlessness immaturity that he embodied, expressed in my life as never knowing what I want to be when I grow up, always looking for the next best thing.

Rob's still against me picking up a part-time job. It has absolutely nothing to do with me, it's because he feels guilty about not working. I've been thinking about hitting up some smaller hotels instead of hotel-casinos. Maybe another Best Western or something. Some place with a couple hundred rooms instead of a couple thousand rooms. Whatever I decide, I'm trying to wait out this week, see if I end up getting fired on Friday. It's going to be a nerve-wracking week and I've given up booze due to calories. No more self-medicating for me, hah.

Been keeping a food diary over the past couple of weeks for the doctor. Been counting calories, too. My daily intake is about 1000 - 1200 calories, mostly fruit & veggies. My stomach is killing me, but I keep telling it no bread, no pasta, no beer - no pain, no E. Just keeping the fantasy alive ;)

Edited to add: Just ran through my past two weeks & it's been pretty revealing. I have only eaten about 700 calories worth of food yesterday & today, but it felt like I was eating a bunch of junk food all weekend. My worst day (2080 calories) involved a mixed seafood platter from the Hawaiian Barbecue place up the road. A fried mahi mahi filet, 2 fried shrimp, 2 fried scallops, macaroni salad & kim chee was about 1000 calories in & of itself. 2 pieces of Pizza Hut's pineapple & black olive pizza & 2 breadsticks only came to about 700 calories. My home-made hamburgers have about the same amount of calories as a McDonald's Quarter-Pounder (550 in case you were wondering - mine have waaaaaay less sodium, though, because I don't salt my burgers, I use a smidge of Worcestershire sauce, some garlic, some chile powder, some onions, you get the picture), but I broil my burgers. I think it's the buns that are doing me in, simply because I buy Sara Lee's whole-grain white instead of whole-wheat or something. Rob won't eat whole-wheat bread. If I cut out the bun, mayo & ketchup, that's almost 400 calories right there. Mayo is 90 calories per 1 tbs. & I put about a tbs. of mayo on each side of the bun. I like mayonnaise & the thought of eating a burger w/out it is just depressing. There's something about the alchemy of a grilled burger's juices mingling with the fatty tanginess of mayo... especially after it's seeped into that last bite of seasoned, slightly crisp on the edge, bun. yum. I've been pretty good, though - fruit at work all week, salmon once a week, a couple of no-meat days in there.

Gods, I can't help it. I love food. I honestly do. I don't live to eat, but eating adds a layer of simple joy into my otherwise joyless life. Especially good food, and I am a damned good cook. I may not be a Food Network-calibre chef, but I can fucking cook, and I enjoy cooking. I also garner much satisfaction from the idea that I am nourishing myself and others when I cook for them. Food is sacred, cooking for others is sacred, and it's an act of service in which I never mind involving myself or my time. Tonight I popped a couple of chicken breasts coated in barbecue sauce into the oven before we went to the grocery store & coming home to that awesome smell filling the house... there's nothing else quite like it in the world. Except maybe a roasting turkey.

Last night, in response to the Destiny reading's question of 'Why was I born?'...

Fehu, upright.

D'oh.

I don't think it has anything to do with my physical possessions. I think I'm possessed. By a retarded spirit.