Namaste, Bitches

I'm bored. Bored to tears. I have no one to fight with on the internet, embroidery makes my right arm go numb from the shoulder down after about 10 minutes, I've done the laundry, cleaned most of my bathroom, I don't want to color, it's too late/early to walk the dog (being that it's now 5:30am - I started this at 3:30am) and that leaves me with reading.

I guess it's a good thing, being bored. I've been too apathetic to even muster up boredom in awhile. It's better to feel like I have nothing to do rather than not wanting to do anything. I do feel like I've got more energy these past couple of days. I don't know if it's the Wellbutrin or not being at work, but hey, it's something.

I've been trying to do a little more active work with Selene and lunar energies, so I've been shopping for 'moon magic' books. I'm thinking it's probably a mistake. I'm hoping to ignite some kind of creative or intuitive spark, only I'm out of kindling. To my surprise, there are very few 'moon magic' books out there on the market, and they mostly involve astrology. I have pretty much pushed astrology & numerology out of my life. There's one called Moon Magick by DJ Conway. I've kind of lumped Conway into the 'worst of' Wicca 101 writers. Ann Moura's Mansions of the Moon looked promising, but I'm just not Wiccan anymore. I was hoping for something a little less Wicca (or worse, Wiccan FemiNazism), & a little more along the lines of prayers, meditations, songs of praise, offertory rituals, things like that. I admit, I'd be better off if I were trying to commune with Artemis/Diana since there's so much more material on Them.

The exercise of shopping for a decent moon book on amazon is kind of like a walk down memory lane. Ah, look, there's one by Al G. Manning... yeaaaaah. People are selling old We'Moon calendars, from 2000 - 2002. Moonflower: Erotic Dreaming with the Goddess piqued my interest, but it's by Sirona Knight & I suffered through a different book of hers about having sex with the Goddess.

I had picked up In the Shadow of 13 Moons by Kimberly Sherman-Cook (I got it off amazon, not Llewellyn, the Llewellyn link was the first one that popped up). I'm only a few pages into it and snorking to myself about it. She's talking about getting in touch w/your shadow side, being ok with darkness, that kind of thing. Oh, and how this isn't a book for 'beginning witches', it's for more advanced practitioners, because the dark of the Moon is a scawy pwace for new witchy-poos. Don't most people who are interested in witchcraft start out by seeking the darkness? I mean, maybe times have changed with the introduction of Charmed and the 'White Lighters' and all that, but c'mon, give me a break! There was only one review of the book on amazon, which should have clued me off - the reviewer re-wrote the blurb. Awesome way to fill people in on the content!

I s'pose I'll just have to stick w/Orphic & Homeric hymns & keep adding to my shrine. The Greeks weren't too fond of witchcraft, being sane & rational people & to them, the act of 'drawing down the Moon' meant that witches were taking Selene hostage & stealing Her blood. Usually, if the Moon appeared a different color, like dark yellow or red, the villagers would go out w/cymbals, rattles & various other noisemakers to scare the witches away & protect Selene. It's funny to me that in some of the myths & stories, Selene is particularly annoyed with Medea & Circe, because they practiced most of their magic at night and would call forth clouds to cover the Moon, and Selene would retaliate in small, nasty ways. I guess I should remember that the next time I try to draw in thunderstorms. I just, y'know, get so impatient when I see them hovering just behind the mountains on all sides. Come on, it was July 3rd... only like, 2 days early...

I'm going to be setting up a small shrine to Selene tonight. Hopefully, if I can detach Rob from my hip for an hour or so, I might try to commune with Her for awhile.

According to LunaBar, which is an awesome little app, the Moon is currently void of course and fishing is fair.

When I think of calm, comforting, nurturing elements in my life, I usually think of either the Moon or the ocean. If I was somewhere with a coastline, a desire for a loving deity would send me straight into the arms of the Pacific. To me, She is a Goddess in Her own right and when I lived in California and Washington, I actively offered worship to Her, in all Her moods and tides and weather. I don't talk about it much, but I did like living in southern California, and if the cost of living wasn't so high, I'd much rather live there than anywhere else. I think my Grecian soul found it familiar, with its pseudo-Mediterranean climate, the endless expanse of sand and sea that made up its coastline... at heart, I am a California girl, lol.

But here I am, in the Great Big Empty, no ocean in sight. So to whom else can I turn when the ocean isn't there?

All along, I've always thought of the Moon as 'Mother Moon', and gazing upwards at Her has always filled me with a sense of peace and stillness. She's always been there, like the sea, watching over me, watching over us all. Honestly, I don't think of Her as Diana or Artemis, or Luna or Selene - They are not the Moon, but the Moon is in Them. The Moon just is. I have a little in common with Bob in that - he's a moon-dog, a lunatic, and so am I. I watch Her cycle closely, I follow Her across the sky, I keep in tune with Her rhythms. I have a kinship with dogs and coyotes and hares... I see Her face in my favorite drum. Maybe all along I have been just neglecting to see what's always been there.