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[personal profile] perzephone
Well, after 2 years of overheating & no a/c and various other problems, we finally got a new old car. I think it's actually the newest used car we've ever had - only 6 yrs. old. It's a 2000 Ford Explorer Sport. 6 cyl. engine, 4wd. And it's purple. $2700 and the dirty blue Olds for trade-in. Woohoo. Yet another big useless thing brought to us by the in-laws, much like the big-screen t.v. But I stayed out of it completely - I don't drive anyway, why should I care other than the gas cost? All it needs is new tires, so what the Hel, right?

I have been very busy these past coupla days, I woke up at 11am because I've been living the dayshift all week, and I'm exhausted & headachey. I most defintely do not want to go to work tonight but I have to. I hate my job so much, and all I've gotten is rejection notices from other places, or the places that would hire me pay too little. I'm fucking stuck, and I hate myself more every day for continuing to go in to work. I'm terrified that if I actually do stick out the degree thing that at the end of it I still won't be able to get new work. And I do mean terrified. It's getting pretty bad, to where I'm contemplating blowing my head off rather than go to work.

When it gets closer to payday, I'm going to start calling around to some different doctors & see if all that I'm experiencing as far as being tired & in pain all the time is all in my head or if there's something else going on... and then I'm going to go back to a shrink again and try to keep them focused on giving me new coping mechanisms for dealing with being in a dead-end job that I can't stand.

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Rainbow Serpent Woman

August 2014

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