Boooooorrrrrrreeeeeeddddd

Fuck I'm bored. I have nothing to do, or at least nothing interesting to do. Rob's ill from the colonoscopy prep, so he & the dog are napping on the couch. I napped earlier, so now I'm wide awake & shit. Rob's not having a good time w/the cleansing, so he may end up having to reschedule his procedure for a later date, just have to see. I offered to fast with him - fasting makes Rob miserable, but it doesn't bother me much. One great advantage of having severe depression is that it does actually have physical effects, too - like a dulling of the nerves & senses. I can tolerate our summer heat (I admit, I have trouble with cold. I can outwardly appear as though I don't mind it, but I really fucking hate it. I freeze to death all summer because Rob can't take the heat & has the a/c cranked down to 72º. If you ever hear of someone getting hypothermia in August in Las Vegas, that'll be me), I can tolerate fasting, full bladder, itches, aches, burns, you name it. Of course, all the meditation I did helped that along, too, but mostly it's the depression that keeps me numb. The Wellbutrin hasn't affected that, or my appetite. I've noticed that the antidepressants I've tried have all acted like appetite stimulants - I'm eating more often, but not gaining weight, which is weird.

Got to take a taxi way out to a hospital in Pooksdehootie (aka the other end of the valley) because that's where Rob's doc has surgery privileges. Lovely. It's times like these that I wish I could drive or that I had the type of friends who would come & pick you up at the airport. Never mind friends who would help me hide dead bodies - airport friends are hard to find.

I've got a new hobby - I clean out dragon hatcheries & post other people's scroll when they've got the accepting aid flag. It's somewhat gratifying to find an ER egg with a day or so on it, post it around & watch it hatch. I've somehow amassed over 500 dragons. No life, but it's cheaper than WoW & I don't get called An000bis as much >.<

Speaking of WoW, I uninstalled it yesterday. Not a single fuck was given, either.

Yummy

I think I need more Port-Au-Prince. I've been sitting in a hospital all morning, just got home, and all I could think about while I was sitting there was how much I wished I had brought the PaP sample with me. I missed it.

But I came home & put Bohun Upas on, just because I wanted to give it another chance instead of dismissing it out of the bottle. Now that I'm wearing Bohun Upas... it's got a very Opium-like quality, and isn't too masculine on me at all. I know I've said this before, but my own scent is kind of like that creamy smell that high-quality paper has when it burns. Opium is one of the few true perfumes I can stand to wear, and it smells like pure unbridled lust when combined w/my own body chemistry. Bohun Upas has that same aura, with something sharp and absolutely delicious underneath it. It's a familiar scent, too, but I can't quite place it. Tuberose, maybe? Not milky enough to be orris. Vetiver? Hrmmm... It almost, but not quite, smells like good Nag Champa incense. Oh Gods, what is that smell? I want to say clove, but it's sweeter. Maybe it is vetiver. Whatever it is, it smells the same as Kashmir by Led Zeppelin sounds. Yes, I think I could wear Bohun Upas regularly.

I got some good news - since I'm taking FMLA leave, my employer pays into my insurance for up to 90 days, so I don't have to pay an outrageous COBRA to keep my benefits. Which is awesome, and saved me $880. Fuck, we need some socialized insurance in this country, because if that's the cost of keeping me & my husband covered for one month - without my job & the Union we would not have health insurance. Especially not at almost $900 a month. Can you imagine, $10k a year for health insurance? Holy crap.

Ah, no, bergamot! Or is it palmarosa? Fuck!

edited for content

The Bohun Upas settled down to a very nice, lasting, sandalwood scent.

I couldn't figure out the backnote of Bohun Upas, but its success out of the bottle prompted me to put some Cthulhu on once I got out of my shower. On me, in a cloud around my head... it's eye-watering and nose-burning. It's very clean, very sharp and ammoniac. Smells absolutely caustic. I may need another shower unless this shit settles down really quick.


some time passes...
Ok, now it's just green & soapy. Not quite green & soapy enough to be Irish Spring anymore, not quite as eye-watering... but still yucky.

Alas, the Elder God does not smell good on me :P