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perzephone
Eh heh.
The High Priestess is highly introspective. Ever since I brought her out & set her up next to my bed, and asked her to talk to me, I've been more depressed than normal. I also haven't been able to figure out why my depression has taken a severe downward swing. I've also been thinking about how isolated I am personally, and how even though I don't do anything about it, suicide is part of my daily thoughts. I mean, it's always there, somewhere, lurking, but lately it's been moving towards full-blown planning. Along with all this, there is the feminine archetypal receptivity which means I've been wanting to pick up random guys. Mixed messages - I'm down, I want to die, but hey, buddy, can you spare a good lay?
It looks like I'm going to be the full-time night auditor in a few weeks. I may have to put the High Priestess away before I'm 'done', so to speak, because I'm way too sensitive to my environment at work. Things I could normally ignore, like my coworkers, are needling me. Being night auditor 40 hours a week means sitting in an office, isolated from the people I normally see and don't mind being around at least 3 nights a week, and instead I'm stuck with people who annoy the living crap out of me (the PBX operators) in a stuffy little room with dark red carpet on the walls and no ventilation.
I keep making this comparison between the PBX operators and Goldilocks. Goldilocks was all, "this bed is too hard... this bed is too soft" but eventually she found the bed and porridge that were just right. The PBX operators? Noooooo. As I left for my weekend on Wednesday morning, one of the operators was complaining, and I quote: "My back has been killing me all night! This chair is too hard! This chair is too soft! This one is too tall! This one is too short!" I bailed before she finished & before I could bust out in brays of ass-like laughter. I laughed all the fucking way home.
The High Priestess is highly introspective. Ever since I brought her out & set her up next to my bed, and asked her to talk to me, I've been more depressed than normal. I also haven't been able to figure out why my depression has taken a severe downward swing. I've also been thinking about how isolated I am personally, and how even though I don't do anything about it, suicide is part of my daily thoughts. I mean, it's always there, somewhere, lurking, but lately it's been moving towards full-blown planning. Along with all this, there is the feminine archetypal receptivity which means I've been wanting to pick up random guys. Mixed messages - I'm down, I want to die, but hey, buddy, can you spare a good lay?
It looks like I'm going to be the full-time night auditor in a few weeks. I may have to put the High Priestess away before I'm 'done', so to speak, because I'm way too sensitive to my environment at work. Things I could normally ignore, like my coworkers, are needling me. Being night auditor 40 hours a week means sitting in an office, isolated from the people I normally see and don't mind being around at least 3 nights a week, and instead I'm stuck with people who annoy the living crap out of me (the PBX operators) in a stuffy little room with dark red carpet on the walls and no ventilation.
I keep making this comparison between the PBX operators and Goldilocks. Goldilocks was all, "this bed is too hard... this bed is too soft" but eventually she found the bed and porridge that were just right. The PBX operators? Noooooo. As I left for my weekend on Wednesday morning, one of the operators was complaining, and I quote: "My back has been killing me all night! This chair is too hard! This chair is too soft! This one is too tall! This one is too short!" I bailed before she finished & before I could bust out in brays of ass-like laughter. I laughed all the fucking way home.
