perzephone | Entries tagged with the in-laws

Current Mood: blah

Here it goes... my kitchen timer is busily ticking off my 10 minutes... I really don't feel like typing right now, but here I am, typing anyway... Rob & I went to Borders today to find a new organizer for me to keep track of my shrink stuff. They didn't have anything, but they did have a very cool wall banner involving Ed & Al from FullMetal Alchemist. Next week, when we're closer to payday, I'm probably going to go get it. We've been trying desperately to get rid of knick-knackage, but damn, it's got Ed & Al on it. I've really gotten into that particular show. They also had some manga comics - FMA, Inuyasha, Trigun, a few others. None were as dirty as we hoped for. It was kind of neat because most of them, even tho they're translated into Engrish, read from right to left - in other words, the books are backwards. Even the covers open the wrong way.

My computer makes me feel stupid. I'm not good enough to use it. I finally got the adapter to hook a VCR up to the computer to download movies onto it. Rob fucked around w/the sound cables so I could get sound as well as video. So I managed to save an episode of Trigun on my hd (only 980mb!). Then my DVD recorder wouldn't, for whatever crack-monkey reason, record the movie onto the DVD. So I blew up & had to remove myself from the immediate proximity of expensive technological equipment, and at about 4 am. reloaded the DVD burner drivers. So I managed to dl the movie onto the DVD, and of course our DVD player wouldn't play it. It just sat there making grinding noises & flashing 'LOADING' at me. So now I think all I've got to do is figure out exactly what format our DVD player plays, because it's not MPEG-2.
Or if it is, it's not Windows Media Player MPEG compatible. I don't know, I'm not a programmer.

I don't want to go to work tonight. Yesterday I ate everything we had in the house in a sort of anti-dietary-suggestion snit fit. Carbs, carbs & more carbs.

I offered my m.i.l. my copy of Merck's Medical Manual & Rob happened to mention that I had ordered a replacement copy - so now the m.i.l. wants the new copy, not mine. There is absolutely nothing wrong w/the one we have, but she thinks we've got the plague or something. Cooties, I don't know.

Current Mood: crushed

Rob's got an elderly (92 or 93) who is currently in a home in Pennsylvania... she's got dementia, & the in-laws just came back from selling her house as she won't be going back home... So of course, we got invaded by knick-knackery. And I was given an honest-to-goodness pearl necklace. They're very regular, so they're probably cultured pearl, but still... They're quite nice.

I feel like the depression has beaten me. Usually I just ignore it til it goes away, and this time it just hung around til I had to acknowledge it. I feel defeated & even more hopeless than before.

Current Mood: calm

Sacred Source has a perfectly gorgeous amber & jet bracelet w/little silver bees on it. I want.

I have pretty much done what I set out to do this weekend - absolutely, positively nothing. Been working on my herbs, which is always good for my brain. It's soothing, to lose myself in the world of Latin names & the Linnaeus system. Family, Species, Genus, Variation, Subspecies... Rootstocks (rhizomes), leaves, calyces, stems, rootlets, cymes, umbels, lanceolate, obovate, corymbs, axillary, terminal, basal rosette. Magic words. I like to play the identification game - scanning pictures of plants w/no name, or just a common name & trying to remember the Latin names. I gave up & started my own cross-index, one arranged w/the Latin names, both modern & obsolete, & one arranged w/common names. And then I realized I had the 'Firefly Dictionary of Plant Names: Common & Botanical', hee hee. But ya never know - I've got a lot of obscure, medieval 'witch' names for things, as well as the more generally accepted common names. As it is, it's taken me a good 3 1/2 hrs. to index the herbs I have starting w/A & B.

Rob & Alex are going thru the garage right now - the in-laws bought Alex a car they had originally intended to buy for us (the day I made the f.i.l. cry) & he has so torn that car up. He keeps complaining that it won't run anymore, but he's the one who fucked it all up in the first place. We've had his shit in the garage for months now, and he's finally going thru it all. I don't care one way or the other, but the truth of things is that scorpion season is approaching, and our garage right now is the perfect place for them all to hide. I don't know exactly what happened to Alex in his youth - did his mom just give in to him all the time? I've pretty much had to bust my ass for everything, and I don't ask for or accept help easily, but damn, I can say 'Thank you.' Alex is not only ungrateful for any help he receives from anyone, but he is also demanding. It's like he's a 5 yr. old who never grew up. He throws tantrums when people just don't run out & buy him what he asks for. He's 22 years old fer Gods' sakes. Jobless, basically living in his car because I won't let him get away w/staying here (if it wasn't for me, Rob would probably put up w/him) & no one else can stand his mouth, either... He can't go back to North Carolina to his mom because for one, he'll get arrested & two, his mom's afraid of him. Neither me nor Rob trust him but Rob is 'family'. I mean, geez, I was a little fem-thug in my day, and Rob's been arrested before for past transgressions, but we both knew the one essential rule for getting away w/murder: Don't shit where you eat. Alex hasn't figured that one out yet & can't understand why no one will just give him money to get his car fixed & why he's always got to have people meet him places to pay for things - no one is just going to give him $20 bucks - they want proof that he didn't blow the money on something else. He also 'loses' things. He talked the in-laws into giving him the title to the car so he could sell it & buy something else, but chances are, he's going to 'lose' the title. Just like he's lost all his ID so he can't get a job.

I'm on the once-a-week allergy shots now for the next 8 wks, then once every other wk for the following 4. I'm so relieved, because my left arm is bruised, swollen & freaking hurts.

Current Mood: bored

Again. No activity on Tribe, again. My face hurts - my sinuses have been soooo bad lately - I think it's because when it rains here, in the one virtually smoke-free atmosphere I'm in, people smoke in the hallway outside the office & this place may actually have worse ventilation than the Excalibur. I'm going to take a Benadryl in about a 1/2 hr... I went to bed last night around 9:30pm, woke up at a quarter to 6 this morning (beat the alarm by 15 minutes!) to the sound of rain absolutely pounding down outside. Right now, it's clear skies. I'm going to an allergenist on Thursday morning - I give up. I want injections. I'm tired of itchiness & swollen tonsils.

Rob's nephew, Alex, is getting deeper & deeper in w/the pharms & possibly heroin, & his grandparents refuse to cut him off. He's indulging in all the junkie behavior - lying, stealing, theiving, all to get drugs... and me & Rob can see it, but they refuse & just keep giving him money. But, Rob is still able to manipulate them as well, so whaddaya expect? They didn't learn w/Rob & they won't learn w/Alex. The only thing is that Alex is going to end up putting them in danger - they just got a big-screen TV, they've got a nice newer car... pretty sweet shit to his junkie friends. Everytime they go over to wherever he's crashed at they put themselves in a position to be followed home. And they're old - a stiff wind could knock Anton on his ass. I keep telling Rob's mom to have Alex committed - at least they'll know where he's at for 3 days in a row.

I want something fiery hot for dinner, but I don't know if I want hotwings or Samurai Sam's more... Samurai Sam's is bad for my b.p. & hotwings are bad for my cholesterol. Since I've been taking mega-doses of the Niacin, I've noticed less heartburn & that weird pain on my right side has gone away. Of course, I tried lifting weights the other day so my arms feel like they want to fall off. Actually, they ache like rotten teef. I should be getting my 'Ab-Lounger II' next month. I'll probably use it once & then it will become a clothes rack. Which reminds me, I need to clean out my closet so I can bring my unwanteds down here tomorrow for Peggy's Attic.

Rob's turning 35 on Thursday - I hope Smith's doesn't fuck up his cake.

Jamie got hired by the Jubilee chorus line - talented dancer getting to do sumpin' w/her talent - give the Universe a big Yeehaw! Of course, she doesn't want anyone to know, because, gasp! she's gonna be topless. Which has amused me & Rob for about 36 hrs. now... Rob wants to find out when the show starts again so we can get front row center tix, & after the show we can call her & tell her it would have been better if she'd actually been FACING the audience. Mwuhahahahaha!!!

Current Mood: aggravated

So, the second person I made cry this week was the father-in-law. Nice, huh? I think the worst part of this whole afternoon is the plain, simple fact that I don't feel any remorse about making him cry whatsoever.

I know it probably seems to my in-laws that I am ungrateful, ungracious and mean. But I'm tired of just resigning myself to accepting things they give us. I don't want a house full of knick-knacks & other crap, and I don't want to be financially obligated to them anymore. I'm so sick & tired of owing them money... so they've got it into their heads that since Alex totaled his car, they're going to buy us a car & give him the one we have now. And they were bound & determined that today we would have a new car... probably because they're tired of driving Alex & his girlfriend around everywhere they need to go... so anyway, we go to this rinky dink little car dealership on the ass-side of Polaris, & look at the cars. I didn't even want to be involved in the first place, but Rob insisted that I go along. I did my best to just stay in the fucking car, and keep out of the decision making, but Rob basically begged me to just look at the car, meaning he wanted to hide behind me & let me be the bully. And I told them all that "I don't care. My only two needs for a vehicle are that it be small & good on gas. It could be 57 different shades of primer grey for all I care." I didn't want to sit in the car, I didn't want to go for the test drive - to me, it's pointless. I'm not driving it, so why do I give a fuck if it's comfortable. The m.i.l. kept pointing out the nice interior & good paintjob & how classy the car looked, & I kept reminding her that it doesn't matter what a car looks like, what matters is how it runs & how much gas it guzzles up.

The f.i.l. so wanted me to be in love w/the car, to say, "Yes, buy the car." I just couldn't. I tried to be civil, I tried to be gentle, but I really couldn't honestly say, "Buy the car." I kept saying, "It doesn't matter to me. Ask Rob - he's the one who's going to drive it." The f.i.l. so wanted me to really want the car, but I honestly don't care. And so he got to the frustration point where he started crying. And of course, the m.i.l. comes over, glares at me & tries to get him to settle down.

And now the m.i.l. is completely pissed off at us because we wouldn't just go along, play nice & let them buy this car... Rob didn't want it - he didn't trust it, and considering how the exhaust system was wired & duct-taped together, I can understand why. I mean, sometimes the devil you know is easier to live w/than the devil you don't. We know what's wrong w/our Olds - needs brakes. Yes, it has a primer grey nose, and it creaks when making turns like a ship in high seas, but it's a decent, dependable, reliable car. Why trade it for a car we don't trust?

The in-laws remind me of spoiled children... They always expect people to just give in & give them what they want, & they throw temper tantrums when someone throws a monkey wrench into their plans. I wasn't going to offhandedly agree to a potential lemon, & they should have known that. And I'm not going to take their side against Rob, because I was basically the deciding factor in the decision... "If Janelle likes the car, we'll buy it no matter what Rob says." I would have been the deciding vote...

I get so tired of being part of Rob's family. Everything they do is some sort of passive-agressive power play. It's obnoxious. I told Rob that if he ever got Parkinson's & it made him emotionally unstable like that, I will shoot him & put him out of my misery.

I need to get a custom t-shirt made that I can wear whenever we're around them: DON'T POKE THE BEAR.

HO hum... sort of a core dump I guess. Rob's sister came out last week for Alex's birthday & a visit. I was at least able to add some good news to someone's life - in about 3 yrs. she's planning on moving out here w/her future husband James. They're planning to get married out here on Hallowe'en '05. Of course, she can't tell her parents because they are racist motherfuckers & James is black. Anyway, she wants me to pin corsages on everyone & for Rob to be an usher. It's a 12-hr. ordeal they're planning, from noon to midnight. So my good news to her was that James, unlike what she's been hearing from her mom, would have little or no problem getting a job out here. He could be a bouncer at any number of night clubs making damned good $$$, or casino security, working for UPS or FedEx... in other words, if he wants to work, he'll be able to.
Rob still isn't working. Sometimes my own ethical code pisses me off... inflict no change upon anyone. All I can do is ask him to work, I can't make him. And I'm too anhedonic to nag.
I've discovered the joys of file-sharing, aka downloading music from the 'net via a program called KazaaLite+++. Right now I'm trying to compile a CD based on a tape the Hula Rat made for me lo these many Moons ago. It's kind of the soundtrack to my early life. Some of the songs are pretty obscure, so getting them from Kazaa has been hard, especially the ones by Wall of Voodoo, Stan Ridgway & Andy Prieboy.
Playlist:
1) Singapore by Tom Waits... memorable line: "In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king/so take this ring..."
2) Dead - They Might Be Giants... "I never apologized for when I was 8 & I made my younger brother be my personal slave"
3) Roadblock - Stan Ridgway... "They burned the car right there at Big Black Rock..."
4) Me In Honey - REM w/that chick from the B52's. "There's a fly in the honey, baby's got a baby w/me"
5) Where I'm Calling You From - Andy Prieboy... Me & the Hula Rat harbor a suspicion that this song is actually in part about her. She used to do photography for WOV... "She sends me polaroids/She sends me crystals/She's got my address & a semi-automatic pistol/She's my ex-wife/She's from my last life/She's out for vengeance, baby!"
6) The Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor.. poignant & meaningful to me "I'll talk but you won't listen to me"
7) Love You Like Hitler - MotorPsycho "You're the sauerkraut of my fuckin' eyes"
8) Damn, I Wish I Was a Man - Cindy Lee Berryhill "I could be sexy w/a Belly like Jack Nicholson"
9) My War - Black Flag "You're one of them!" :::snicker:::
10) Let's Ride - Sandy Rogers... some sort of country ballad about a man & his dually pick'emup truck
11) Paintwork - The Fall - instrumental. Instrumental in what, I'm not sure.
12) That's What You Always Say - Dream Syndicate... I can't remember any of the words from this, but it fits nicely w/Paintwork.
13) Good Luck - Exene Cervenka. She married someone famous.
14) Whole Lotta Love - Andy Prieboy. The first time I heard this I felt so betrayed.. a countryfried version of Led Zeppelin... but now I like it quite a bit.
15) Rio Greyhound - Stan Ridgway. The Hula Rat had such a crush on this guy.
16) I Wanna Be a Boss - Stan Ridgway... "We can watch Ice Station Zebra in the nude"
17) The Empty World - The Cure... "something something poison trees"
18) Take Me Back - Sushi & the Banshees... "She came back"
19) Like a Song - U2.. nope, no words in the memory banks
20) Factory - Wall of Voodoo featuring Stan Ridgway.. "something something Pink Mustang, fenders chrome"
21) Back in Flesh - WOV w/SR
22) Mexican Radio 12" - WOV w/SR "I hear the talk-beat, I'm the DJ, can't understand just what does he say?" Reminds me of going to Magic Mountain w/the Hula Rat & her bro & friends. What a great day.
23) Love is a Happy Thing - WOV w/SR "It puts the green right back in the bean/Love is a happy thing"
24) Tomorrow, Wendy - Andy Prieboy w/Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde "hey, hey, goodbye, tomorrow Wendy's going to die" I think this is about JFK - little known fact that his peeps called him Wendy. Why, I don't know.
25) Soul on Fire - LaVerne Baker. From the Angelheart movie, but not on the AngelHeart Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. It should be. It played when Mickey Rourke was having bloody Voodoo sex w/Lisa Bonet. It's a fantastic song... "But now you've set.. my soul... on fire... and I've really had my fun". Love it. But... when Rob & I were implementing plans to move to Louisiana, I was in the kitchen of the condo packing or cleaning or something, listening to this tape over & over, & from Rob's corner of the living room, somewhere behind my back, came a voice, singing along to this song. A male, gravelly voice, southern accent... all the hair on my body stood on end because I was all alone, & there was no activity from any of the surrounding condos. It was eerie. And I have something to admit. Even tho I see dead people, even tho I talk to dead people & they talk to me, it scares me senseless. When I saw the little ghost boy in the doorway of my kitchen I almost dropped the plate I was holding & started shaking like a leaf. When I hear weird noises I'm more likely to put the covers over my head than I am to investigate. And lemme tell you, when I heard that voice, similar but not quite like, my dad's, singing along to "Soul on Fire", I couldn't even turn around, let alone move. So now when I hear it, I worry that the singing ghost will come back.

Which reminds me - I watched Gothika the other night & Robert Downey Jr. tells Halle Berry "I don't believe in ghosts!" She replies "Neither do I, but they believe in me!" I was floored. That's my problem. They totally summed it up - I don't believe in ghosts, but they sure do believe in me.

Current Mood: guilty

I'm, er, "helping" my husband's nephew w/his Psychology 101 course. I'm getting further reminders of why I hated high-school & more evidence is gaining towards the fact that I most likely will never go back to school. Even mortuary school. Just trying to find time for the course assignments, reading, note taking, etc. while working full time is going to prove interesting. I won't be getting him many participation points, that's fer sure. I've got 6 2 - 3 paragraph "discussion topics", 6 1 - 2 pg. "research articles", a 10 - 15 pg. term paper, (I've got ADHD of the pen/keyboard, there is no one subject so interesting to me that I can ramble on aimlessly about for even 5 or 6 pgs., not to mention 10 - 15.) & I've got to slog thru 2 chapters a week (80 pgs of reading a week is not really a big challenge but it's dry. Very dry) Right now I'm lost in the world of axons, neurotransmitters, action & graded potentials, etc. & so forth - I went from psychology to neural quantum physics. At least the brain stuff is interesting. If damage occurs to the left hemisphere of the parietal lobe, the person can lose the ability to read & write & may have loss of awareness of the position or placement of one of more body parts (what a perfect sexual harrassment defense: "Your honor, I was unaware that I was touching her breast - the left side of my parietal lobe has been damaged...") but if the right side of the parietal lobe is damaged, you may lose awareness of the entire left side of your body - you may end up brushing only the right side of your hair, or the teeth on the right side of your mouth, or shaving only your right leg or the right side of your face. That would be odd.
The professor is out of his mind, too. This is Psych 101, Introduction to Psychology. His syllabus is 15 pages long. I've discovered I have a problem coming up w/things to write about. He doesn't give us any subjects. He says, "write 2 or 3 paragraphs on a topic from the week's reading assignment", or "write a 1 - 2 pg. research article on topics covered in the reading assignment". I've at least go this week's assignments covered - my discussion was why the double-blind method is best in research experiments & my research article was on psychological disorders in Parkinsonian diseases (which hit on clinical psychology & neurotransmitters). & I've come up w/a possible topic for the term paper - "Road Rage: Dealing with Aggression While Driving". I also got a 90 on the 1st quiz. Woohoo, not bad for taking wild guesses on all questions related to the 2nd chapter... I'm just hoping the professor doesn't notice that I'm not really a 20-yr. old guy.
Why am I doing this, why am I essentially cheating on this class for my husband's nephew? I do it for the money, baby, why else?

Current Mood: annoyed

Fer giving me "Blood & Gold" by ol' Anne Rice. Made me hafta go to The Book Magician (aka The Amber Unicorn) in search of freaking vampire books. Geez,whaddaya trying to do to me?

I'm also reading, for the first time, "Communion" by Whitley Strieber. I've come to the realization that whenever he describes aliens, I think of children. I'm almost done w/the book, I'm thinking to myself, yeah, children do look like aliens. Weird tiny unformed faces stuck in the middle of oversized heads. Inexplicable, irrational & illogical behavior. Sort of unnerving in a scampering, ratlike way. Aliens bug me at a deep & basic level, but at least I'm not forced to deal w/them in public. At least, I don't think I am. Who knows, maybe they do walk among us, only instead of wandering around nekkid & grey, they're dressed in little pink or blue onesies w/pacifiers stuck in their tiny mouths, plotting the downfall of the world from the safety of strollers? Gods, do I hate the mall & the post office anymore.

Rob's dad survived his hernia operation. After all the testing to see if he could make it out alive, a grape-sized balloon grew to the size of an orange. Nice. But, I can understand all the delays considering how Nevada reams these doctors on malpractice insurance. $300 - $400,000 a year. More if they're unfortunate enough to be an ob/gyn.

I've decided the one last thing I need in life is a cable modem. That's it. Just a working cable modem that's compatible w/my cranky Dell computer. That's all. All I need. Hell, for all I know, happiness for me may actually be achieved the first time I get more than a 4800kps connection to the World Wide Web... I may actually have an orgasm or something.

Current Mood: mischievous

Oh, I am just racking up bad Karma... for the past 2 nites I've been wishing Jeff kung fu night audit skills. I am so very, very screwed karmically speaking. I know it's completely evil, but I'm just compelled. I feel that Jeff just deserves those k.f.n.a.s.
Went to see "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen tonight." It was ok. It's hard to believe that Sean Connery is 70! He still moves pretty good for an ol' guy. I only personally know 2 old people - my inlaws. Anton is 67 or 65 I think... Margaret is going to be 61. Anton probly won't see 70, Margaret's like the cockroaches or rats - nothing can kill her off. (not that we've tried or anything... :::evil laughter:::) I'm planning to off myself when I turn 65. Hopefully I'll still be able to hold the gun or read the darn pill-bottle. Maybe I'll give auto-erotic asphyxiation a whirl. I'm donating my corpse to 1 of 2 organizations - either BodyWorlds Museum or the Body Farm. Rob wants to be turned into a diamond, which is actually an improvement on his earlier wishes. I can totally envision me laying on a self-skin rug, flayed for the world to see for a nominal fee. I'm probably too fat to plasticize tho. There really isn't much info on donation requirements. I know for anatomy school donation you can't have a high percentage of body fat because the embalming process doesn't penetrate the body tissues deeply enough to keep you from decomposing, which makes your bod pretty useless for budding doctors. I bet if I donated myself to the Body Farm I'd be a great source of adipocere. (Had to break down & look it up to see if I was using it right... according to Websters I'm already a great source of adiposity.)
I'm currently IM'ing w/someone from Turkey. He just wants me to cyber, I know, so I'm stubbornly engaging in small talk to make him go away. (And I have mail involving College Girls Nude on Camera - I don't even like college girls, why would I wanna see 'em nekkid? Barely Legal my arse - she's gotta be 50 if she's a day. Enlarge my penis? What penis? When did I get a penis? I have an astral penis, can I enlarge that?) Anyone bothering to read this probably thinks I'm a freak. O well. It's my live journal entry, read at own risk. They need to add an "evil" setting to the current mood option. As in, "I'm feeling evil today"

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Namaste, Bitches

I'm homesick for a place I've never been

Entries tagged with the in-laws

Re: My 10 Minutes

Pearls

The I-Wants

Bored at work...

Doing My Part to Make People Cry...

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

Psych 101

Thanks, Kelly...

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