White People & Coyotes
Aug. 24th, 2009 11:57 pmI'm conflicted... I don't know if I should use my shiny new asshat icon or the coyote one... I mean, yes, I do mention coyotes, but I'm kind of putting on a racial ass-hat. For now, I'm leaving it Coyote until the votes are in, lol.
I troll okcupid on occasion, mainly for the quizzes, and sometimes in vain hope of finding a single bi woman... but anyway, this guy messaged me & asked, "what is it with u white people and ur shit about coyotes?". I looked at his profile, which was just incredibly informative - he had posted a conversation he had with another person where he called her retarded & he mentioned his gun about 5 times. So I messaged him back that I didn't feel good about sharing my personal connection to Coyote with him, especially because he came off as though he had already made up his mind about 'us white people and coyotes', and I let him know that I had formed some strong opinions of my own about him based on his profile. He responded back with wit and grace... "Blow me". Yeah, what a great guy! I love meeting people like this on the internet. I thanked him for proving my preconceived opinions correct & he responded with even more charm, "cock to you l8tr". I didn't even try to get the last word in, I just hid him from sight. Gotta love global thermonuclear ignore, hah.
So anyway, I started thinking about 'us white people and coyotes', and determined that it's not really white people who have a thing about coyotes... it's white Americans. Much like coyotes, us white Americans can thrive and grow in the most unlikely of places. We seem to be comfortable in any environment, and we can eke out an existence on hardscrabble and dust. And just like coyotes, no matter where we go, us white Americans are completely unwelcome.
We can even be doing something good for the unlikely area we call home, like providing jobs, paying taxes, spending money in local businesses... and we're still unwanted. And, just like coyotes, it seems sometimes like there's a bounty on our heads. We're also sort of gawky, awkward and uncomfortable among our own kind, and this gets magnified when we're outside our element... like a coyote on a subway train. At least coyotes are native Americans. For us white Americans, it doesn't matter how long we live in America, or if we were born here, or if our parents were born here, we'll never truly be natives.
Kidz Bop... aka The Morning Rant
Aug. 19th, 2007 08:53 amPrime example: Nelly Furtado's Say It Right
"From my body I could show
you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?"
Yeah, she could be talking about her heart, but we all know she's talking about her pussy. So imagine, a throng of small children singing about their holy places. Or how about the infamous cheater song, Hinder's Lips of an Angel or super cynical (but I love its political incorrectness) Waitin' On the World to Change or off-key yowling about a year none of them were even born in - 1985?. Okay, yeah, Bowling for Soup may sound like a bunch of kids anyway, but think of the sound of a herd of snotballs singing, "She was going to shake her ass... on the hood of Whitesnake's car." I'm sure it's probably edited to unrecognizability, but... think of the possibilities. "One Prozac a day, husband's a CPA.. Thought she was gonna get a hand on a member of Duran Duran..."
I think I might buy an album if Rehab was on it. I think it'd be hilarious & far closer to the truth listening to a bunch of puling brats wailing about how they don't wanna go to rehab.
My only hope for these kids is maybe they don't speak English. Maybe they're like Abba & the manager has them chained up somewhere & just trains them into repeating mindless phrases to music. They don't seem to have fame as individual soloists - the albums just list them as "The Kidz Bop Kids". Maybe they are replaceable - their vocal cords just give out like tightly-strung guitar strings & they get replaced w/a new kid. Maybe that woman who has 17 kids (yeah, you know who you are - stop making your kids sing along to age-inappropriate music - I am so sick & tired of the freaking commercials every morning) really needed the money.
Someone must be buying the things, though, because they've got 12 regular albums out, Christmas & Halloween specials, 'Gold' collections... and apparently, you can get Kidz Bop Hanukkah music online. Haven't the Jews suffered enough? (Yes, I know, Karma, wood lice... I know... I just can't help myself.)
One good thing about this morning - I had the most incredible and non-diet-friendly breakfast on the face of the planet. I was starving this morning & asked Rob to take me to Jack Inna Box. They have an awesome blackberry shake... (diet strike #1 - and I already know what it tastes like, so you know I've been bad since it was introduced) and I saw an ad for a Sirloin Breakfast Burrito. The thing was hyuuuugggeee. I mean, at least close to half a pound. Had strips of real meat, scrambled eggs, it was spicy... and the surprise was the crispy hashbrown (diet strike #2 and probably #3 as well) wrapped around the steak & egg inside the tortilla. I had to put it on a plate & eat it w/a knife & fork. I couldn't finish it. I don't normally like eggs, but w/the chorizo-like spicy oil all over it & mixed w/the cheese & the crispy hashbrowns it was awesome. When I opened it all onto my plate for easier eating, it looked like one of those skillet breakfasts from Denny's or IHOP.
Funny Thing About Druggies
Feb. 28th, 2007 09:52 amI am fairly open-minded, despite the drug-related tragedies that have touched my life and the lives of loved ones. Drugs are both good and bad. Good for some, bad for others. I tend to trust modern pharmaceuticals and home-grown things moreso than street drugs. Yes, prescription drugs & OTC's can be just as or more harmful in the long run than a little pot, or a little XTC... but prescriptions usually don't come with drain cleaner or formaldehyde in the mix.
However, I don't respect people who justify their drug use with ignorance. If you're going to do drugs, know what the drug is, what it will really do to you, and be honest about it. When I drink, I know I'm making my depression worse. When I'm drunk, I can be a filthy, sloppy drunk cow who takes her clothes off in public & I can get beligerent and even more brutally honest than when I'm sober. But, I know from others that when I'm drunk, I can write. I can relax, even if I can't forget all the things I worry about when sober. I know what I'm doing to my stomach, liver and brain. I know the potential of alcohol poisoning and the all-too-common death from alcohol poisoning that runs in my family. But I still get drunk on occasion, and those occasions are getting more frequent as of late because sometimes, I'm so frustrated when I get home from work that the only outlet I have is a beer or a couple of shots. Booze seems to be the only thing that can put perspective on my crappy job. I'm burned out & I know it, and no matter how many classifieds I read I'm stuck. I haven't resorted to going to work drunk. Not yet, anyway.
- Dale Pendell, Pharmako/Poeia
- Paracelsus, 1490 – 1541
I'm in the middle of an online debate about using marijuana to treat depression. Marijuana, like alcohol, is a depressant. It supresses brain chemistry and retards motor functions. Although it doesn't bind to the opiate receptors in the brain, we do have cannabinoid receptors that act in much the same way. Eases pain, distorts space & time perception, stimulates hunger. In the short, immediate term, it can also cause tachycardia & raise blood pressure. Some may think because of the stimulating effects that it is a stimulant - but long-term use reveals its true nature. It's been shown to be very bad for schizophrenics.
Potheads of all ilks get really pissed off & defensive when anyone mentions the truth about the physiological effects of marijuana, or the fact that when you smoke it, it becomes carcinogenic. They don't recognize the danger in buying drugs off the street - fiberglass, anyone? PCP? They seem to be a little paranoid, thinking it's all some government plot to justify the illegalizing of a relatively harmless substance - but I'm quoting to them from the entheogenic heroes - Pinchbeck, Weil, Davis, Ratsch, Schultes, Pendell. Even erowid.org says marijuana is a depressant - but it also lists it as a stimulant & a euphoriant. They all seem to miss the essential point - understand the drugs you use & be honest about why you're using a drug. It may not make that behavior right - I'm not right in falling back on alcohol as a coping mechanism, but I know what I'm doing when I do it. Personally, I believe that (even with my allergies) marijuana should be legalized or at least decriminalized. Clean out the non-violent offenders from over-crowded, over-burdened prison systems. Nicotine is far more addicting & alcohol is far more dangerous than marijuana, generally because stoned people stay home & don't smoke as much pot as nicotine addicts smoke cigarettes.
Anyway, I'll get off my dopebox. My diet is going well. My feet have lost weight & now my shoes are too loose. I think my boobs are smaller. It's amazing what a difference some slight changes in diet can make. I haven't even started trying to move more, I've just been applying my general knowledge of nutrition & metabolism to myself. I know I'm at a standstill unless I honestly start moving more. I'm just so freakin' tired, though. I'm thinking about getting one of those stationary bicycles that consist of pedals on a frame for under my desk. Been eating more olives & nuts & paying closer attention to serving sizes (4 medium olives, 1/4 cup of nuts). Popcorn is really great - I like popcorn (serving size 1 1/2 cups, approx. 3 servings to a bag of microwave popcorn). Trying to drastically reduce my caloric intake & spread my caloric intake out over a day instead of eating one meal per day like I usually do. It's hard, because I'm retraining my body to be hungry more than once a day. Now, when I eat, I have to take a nap afterwards because my body says, "Ok, we can sit upright or we can digest - we cannot do both at once". I am an amazing font of self-control when it comes down to it. I can deny myself anything - sleep, food, emotional outbursts, a fulfilling marriage, a fulfilling job... and somehow I still manage to not shoot myself in the head on a daily basis.
He went on to say that he wondered if, even with all the activists and social-order movers and shakers, the staff that served everyone attending that convention sort of become invisible, along with the panhandlers that are so common in downtown Memphis. It hit me then. To a certain degree, we of the service industry are all pre-integration Southern black. It doesn't matter if we're white, Latino/a, Asian, actually black, Indian, etc. - when we put on our polyester uniforms and step behind the counters and vacuum cleaners of a hotel, we're black. For the most part, we're invisible, below notice, until it's perceived that we've caused a problem or an inconvenience. It's always our fault, too - never the management or the person with the foul attitude we're trying to assist - nossuh, it's always us. And it doesn't matter what happened, according to the guest it's our fault so management agrees, it's our fault. The hotels we work for don't even usually want us patronizing the facilities and mingling with the paying whites. They give us a sub-standard dining area or encourage us to bring our lunches so we won't be in line in front of the guests. In most hotels we're even supposed to give up seats and line spots for the guests. We hold the doors open on elevators we're not supposed to ride. We clean rooms we're not allowed to rent. Most companies that have an 'Employee Appreciation Day' don't hold it at their own property - the Excalibur/Mandalay Bay used to do it at Wet 'n Wild, but now we get coupons for movies at Blockbuster. "Yes, we appreciate it when our staff stays home!" The guests can insult us, yell at us, tell us we're incompetent... and for the most part we just have to stand there & take it. I've even had moments out on the desk where I've been yelled at for not smiling at someone when they come up to the counter, and then when the guest is unhappy due to not being able to get exactly what they want, they've been like, "What are you smiling about?! Do you think my inconvenience is funny?!" I've even heard guests call some of our male staff 'boy'. They think it's funny, "bring my bags, boy", but I wonder if they understand just how deeply nasty that word really is? If they understand all the implications that one three-letter word holds?
One thing about it, though, it's just part-time black, part-time second class citizenship. When I shed my polyester penguin suit in the morning, I'm just another lower-middle-class white woman. It's given me a slightly different perspective, putting on the black skin of a hotel clerk. I can be so patient while waiting in lines, and it doesn't matter where, either. DMV, post office, grocery store, convenience store, fast-food joint, doctor's offices. I can sit on hold for an hour and not be nasty to the person who finally picks up the phone. I can hold doors and wait for the next elevator. I can be gracious and polite, and I tip almost everybody when I've got the money. If I have to stay at a hotel, I don't do crazy shit to the room because I know someone's got to collect that bedding & the towels, someone's got to clean that tub & vacuum the floor. Every day I go to work, I'm thankful for the buffering walls of my cubicle because I'm not out on the front line as much, having to put up with people who seem to be getting meaner and nastier the longer I work for the Excalibur - and that's just my fellow employees. Approximately one more year & I'll have my degree... right about the time our union contract expires.
It got me thinking, about 'equality', though. I do not think that everyone actually wants to be treated just like everyone else. I think people want their individuality celebrated and respected. I mean, yes, women want to receive the same pay as men for performing the same job. Blacks want to be able to eat in the same restaurants & ride in the same section of the train as whites. Other than some of my throwback Tennessee relatives, no one wants segregation - it's just a stupid, inefficient concept.
However... when it comes to something like Affirmative Action - does anyone really want a promotion just because they are a minority/female/disabled? Or do they want a promotion because they honestly deserve it & worked hard to get it? I'm sure it pisses people off when they have busted their asses in school, gotten good grades, put in all the applications, done the footwork... and someone else gets admitted to a college because they're a different color or gender - and they can't speak English coherently. I imagine that when Affirmative Action went into affect, it may have been the best solution to a problem that was widespread. Black people couldn't get the same jobs as white people because they were black. Women weren't honestly considered for promotions because they were women. Affirmative Action also leads to abuse - my sister tells her kids to put their ethnicity as 'Native American or Alaskan' on applications because they are both maybe 1/8 Native American. She tells me I should take advantage of it, too, because our mom was French Canadien, which has that mixture of indigenous Native Canadien in it. Just for the record, I don't - when I have to fill out the racial profile on a County government application, I put 'Caucasian/white'. I don't know what tribe my mother's people originally came from, but I know that they are far, far removed from their heritage, except maybe for one cousin I have who married a Blackfoot & lives on a reservation.
I'm not griping for my own sake - I don't go out for promotions to managerial positions because I prefer working in my Cubicle o'Doom rather than being on the front lines. I like the notion that I technically make more than the supervisors because they're salaried, work 9-hour shifts & have to pay their own insurance costs, while I work a 40-hour week, get OT pay, I pay my Union dues & the Union pays for my insurance... it's a pretty sweet deal, and I don't have to deal w/the angry public.
I think I'm just kind of annoyed right now. All this crap about Wal-Mart's return to 'Merry Christmas' is getting them sued for cultural insensitivity... so they asked their employees to visually profile patrons to determine the proper holiday greeting. I'm a Union member, so I'm not even supposed to shop at Wal-Mart, but damned if I'm going to pay Target's prices - or try to find a K-Mart anymore. If I owned a retail outlet here in America, you know what I'd do? I'd stop making a big deal out of any holiday. I'd take the Jehovah's Witness stance on the celebration of holidays. If I wanted to throw a sale because my store was in a second-quarter slump, I'd throw a sale. Black Friday is fine - it's the day after Thanksgiving, biggest shopping day of the year for Americans. Thanksgiving also isn't a religious holiday - it's a civic holiday. Same with Labor Day, Memorial Day, Veteran's Day. Veteran's & Memorial Days are even kind of controversial because, well, there are people who protest wars & those days memorialize veterans & active service people. Labor Day could be considered controversial, too - it's a celebration of the worker, and in places like Germany it's kind of like Hallowe'en, allied w/May Day/Walpurgisnacht celebrations. It's a day that commemorates the freedom of the working class & leaves the Big Business employer feeling left out. In the modern economy, celebrating cultural differences is great for business, but Gods forbid you make anyone feel left out or ignored. Do a Mother's Day sale - well, what about single fathers who have to go grocery shopping on Mother's Day? Father's day sales leave out single moms. Grandparent's Day - well, what about moms & dads? There is no 'Children's Day', except maybe for Christmas, but Christmas is a veritable socio-religious timebomb for retail outlets. How does Christmas sales & decor make Jewish people feel? Or Hindus? Or Satanists? Do you know how many people I've seen playing WoW who misspell the Lord of Darkness' name in their character names? I've seen at least one 'Sonofsanta' on each server on which I've played. Not to mention 'Santaswhelp' or 'Santasspawn'... I always feel bad for dyslexic Satanists during Christmas. It's probably quite confusing.
I'd better stop now. I don't quite remember where I was going with this when I started.
The Uncensored Version
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:10 amMy co-workers sicken me. I had time on my hand and about 7 huge bags of candy & little rubber creatures, some stickers & various other seasonal goodies that I assembled & took to work. To prevent strife & jealousy, I wrote everyone's name on their particular treat baggy or package. Two people, to my knowledge, ended up treatless. One I believe - and she's not well-liked, so I have no doubt that someone took her gift & ate the candy & threw her candle-holder in the trash, or stole it, too. The other, Enrico, has a history of 'losing' gifts & having things destroyed or stolen. He's got to get attention somehow, so I don't entirely believe that someone took his goodies, but they might have. I wouldn't put it past anyone I work with.
Now, I'm not pointing fingers or naming names because I honestly don't know who the guilty party or parties were. I'm also not one to point fingers in earnest, only jokingly... people have this thing about eating other people's food even when it's clearly marked. I've taken to touching my food with my hands in view of a crowded break room, or licking a can of soda... needless to say my germy gustatory delights often go completely untouched. It's just a sad and tiresome behavior - I mean, the EDR has free food - if you're hungry enough to pilfer, you're obviously hungry enough to dare the crappy fare downstairs. I didn't even mention it to anyone beyond the slighted individuals - I apologized to them & will find a way to make it up to them.
Needless to say, I probably won't be bringing in goodies for the entire staff next Samhain. It originally started out as just a graveyard shift thing, but I've got cohorts on swing shift, & if I give something to a few people on one shift, I've got to give to that whole shift, & if I give to one whole shift, I might as well give to everyone, management included. Obviously, my job is more like a very large kindergarten or pre-school than a business populated by adults. But next year, I may find that I just don't have the money or time to be generous.
I just think it's funny. People are mean and thoughtless, and someone thinks they are getting away with something. Whether they took the gift because they just wanted more sugar, or whether they took the gift because they resent the recipient - that doesn't matter. They are walking around feeling smug & possibly self-righteous. Or at the very least, they got that extra little buzz from a Jolly Rancher or some stickers for their kids... But the Universe sees everything. And not a soul bothered to ask me, "Hey, Janelle, do you have any of those stickers/toys/candies left?"
Someone took a gift of my energy from someone I gave that energy to willingly. When someone takes things, that person takes everything attached to that item & the Universe acts as a silent witness. Eventually, it will take some energy back to replace what was lost. It may not seem significant, & it probably won't even seem to be connected to the original theft, but the Universe is constantly striving to maintain a balance.
I'm not really writing this to warn the unsuspecting public that the Mistress of Death & Darkness is out hunting... I don't need to seek personal retribution for petty & small acts of human nature, and I really don't give a fuck-all who took the treats. The point is that I work with some shitty people. The more I work with them, the better I get to know them... and the less I like them. The more I think about how all their shit is rubbing off on me, & the more I want the Hel out of my job. I'm just so fucking tired... It's no wonder I can barely stand to be around myself most nights. I'm constantly on edge, constantly on the defensive, falling prey to suspicion and hyper-awareness, waiting for the stab in the back or the sly pokes and digs at my psyche. For the most part, people suck. And yeah, I sucked, too, when I was a shoplifting teenager. You see what I mean about the Universe & its 'rountuits? I just thought I was done paying some of those debts - it's been almost 20 years... geez.
Irritation
May. 2nd, 2006 10:24 amI admit - when it comes to the working world, I am a hardline conservative. I do not believe the world owes anyone a living. I am not the biggest patriot around, I think George W. Bush is an idiot, but whoever wrote what he said about the national anthem needing to be sung in English and the need for people who live and work in AMERICA to speak English echoed what I've been saying since rumors of this protest first started. Speak English, and if you want to come over to this country, do so legally. Follow the proper channels, do your job and be productive. The notion that 'illegal immigrants are important because they do jobs no one else will' is sheer bullshit. I know several decent, hardworking people - Americans - who love to work outdoors in gardens, mowing lawns, cleaning pools, people who went to a lot of trouble and expense to get small landscaping businesses started only to be put out of business because illegal aliens will work slightly cheaper. I know a lot of American men of various colors who have been put out of construction jobs for the same reason. And then, not only do these folk come into our country illegally, but they take away American jobs and expect to have all the benefits & rights that American citizens have without having to do the work to get them.
I don't have a manual-labor job anymore, but when I first started working, the only thing I knew how to do well legally was clean. So I started out in maid work. None of my coworkers would talk to me because 1) I only spoke English and 2) I was white. They were all Latinas who only bothered to speak Spanish. And they thought it was really funny to snicker behind my back & call me names & shit because they thought I didn't understand the profanity as much as I didn't understand the rest of their conversation. None of them made any overtures of even civility towards me, but the minute a new Latina maid would start, she was welcomed w/hugs & kind greetings. Now, I don't work as physically hard for a living, but I'm tired when I get out in the mornings. I put in long hours, and my job (unlike most Teamsters) doesn't end just because I go home - I am technical support for the computer illiterate of the front desk, even though we have a tech support department. I am also tech support and moral support for the relief people I've trained. I bust my ass & put up with some of the most inane problems for my money. If it wasn't for the Teamsters and my job, I wouldn't have health insurance of any kind. I wouldn't have anything for retirement coming my way. As it is, I still live paycheck-to-paycheck. I'm wondering how we're going to pay the copay for surgery if Rob needs it. But these motherfuckers expect health care from the U.S. government. They say that hospitals in this country turn them away - has anyone taken a peek at the ER at UMC? They don't turn a single freaking person away. Believe me, I've spent enough hours there over the past 18 years to know. It's bad enough that we've got generations of welfare-recipients sucking up tax dollars, but at least they are Americans. Now we're expected to give handouts to any loser who can climb a fence?
That's another thing - America is expected to welcome all these people in, but when we go to other countries, we're spit on & reviled as the 'white devil'. Go to Mexico City & get in legal trouble there. See how their police force and jailers treat an American vs. how our cops are legally obligated to treat arrestees. Granted, if you get pulled over in L.A. & you are a different color than the cop pulling you over, and no one's watching, you may just get a beat down, but it'll only be one beat-down - they won't hold your passport for ransom and you won't have to bribe every person you talk to from the cops to the judge.
When Rob's dad came to the US back in the middle of WWII, he was a teenager & couldn't speak English. He worked for restaurants, picking silverware out of their garbage. He made a few cents a week, basically worked three jobs & struggled to learn English the entire time so he could become a citizen. Sheung-Yee had to pay about $5000 worth of legal fees just to get a work visa so she could come to the states legally - in Hong Kong, they kick people out of school in 10th grade & top jobs are extremely competitive there - especially for women. Jimit has been going to school & working to keep his student & work visas current. My grandparents on my dad's side had to give up their belongings & their last name, had to 'Americanize' it just to be allowed into the country in the first place - it was the end of the Kaiser's rule, and the customs agents advised them to let go of their martial Prussian heritage for their own safety. Abdul married Kelly so he could get his green card, and if that's not an argument for self-sacrifice in the name of a brighter future I don't know what is - if I'd had to marry Kelly to become an American, I would have stayed home.
To get an 'immigrant permit' for becoming a national of Mexico, this is what their country requires:
Retirees
If you are over 50 years of age, and want to engage in "non remunerative activities" and you are receiving funds from abroad (from a pension or other investments or fixed income) at least to the value of 400 times the daily minimum daily wage per month and a further 200 times daily minimum wage per month for each dependent (e.g. spouse, children) then you can apply for a Retiree Immigration Permit. Read more about retirement in Mexico on Mexperience.
Investors
You can receive an immigration permit if you are willing to invest your capital in Mexico. You investment can be directed at industry or services, and must equal a minimum of 40,000 times the minimum daily wage in Mexico City.
Professionals
If you are a qualified professional, you can have your certificates validated by the Mexican Consulate and apply for an immigration permit to live in Mexico. You must be sponsored by a company who must satisfy the authorities that you are essential to their operative requirements.
Scientists & Technicians
If you are involved in science, or are a qualified technician, whether commercially or for education, you can apply for an immigration permit in Mexico. You may need to be invited by one of the established scientific or technical organizations in Mexico.
Artists and Sportspeople
These people can apply for an immigration permit. Each case is considered individually and entry is at the Interior Ministry's discretion.
To become a naturalized citizen of the U.S.:
The current cost is $390.00 for the application, & it includes $70.00 for fingerprinting.
Residency
An applicant must have been lawfully admitted to the United States for permanent residence. Lawfully admitted for permanent residence means having been legally accorded the privilege of residing permanently in the United States as an immigrant in accordance with the immigration laws. Individuals who have been lawfully admitted as permanent residents will be asked to produce an I-551, Alien Registration Receipt Card, as proof of their status.
Residence and Physical Presence
An applicant is eligible to file if, immediately preceding the filing of the application, he or she:
has been lawfully admitted for permanent residence (see preceding section); has resided continuously as a lawful permanent resident in the U.S. for at least 5 years prior to filing with no single absence from the United States of more than one year; has been physically present in the United States for at least 30 months out of the previous five years (absences of more than six months but less than one year shall disrupt the applicant's continuity of residence unless the applicant can establish that he or she did not abandon his or her residence during such period) has resided within a state or district for at least three months
Good Moral Character
Generally, an applicant must show that he or she has been a person of good moral character for the statutory period (typically five years or three years if married to a U.S. citizen or one year for Armed Forces expedite) prior to filing for naturalization. The Service is not limited to the statutory period in determining whether an applicant has established good moral character. An applicant is permanently barred from naturalization if he or she has ever been convicted of murder. An applicant is also permanently barred from naturalization if he or she has been convicted of an aggravated felony as defined in section 101(a)(43) of the Act on or after November 29, 1990. A person also cannot be found to be a person of good moral character if during the last five years he or she:
has committed and been convicted of one or more crimes involving moral turpitude
has committed and been convicted of 2 or more offenses for which the total sentence imposed was 5 years or more
has committed and been convicted of any controlled substance law, except for a single offense of simple possession of 30 grams or less of marijuana
has been confined to a penal institution during the statutory period, as a result of a conviction, for an aggregate period of 180 days or more
has committed and been convicted of two or more gambling offenses
is or has earned his or her principal income from illegal gambling
is or has been involved in prostitution or commercialized vice
is or has been involved in smuggling illegal aliens into the United States
is or has been a habitual drunkard
is practicing or has practiced polygamy
has willfully failed or refused to support dependents
has given false testimony, under oath, in order to receive a benefit under the Immigration and Nationality Act.
An applicant must disclose all relevant facts to the Service, including his or her entire criminal history, regardless of whether the criminal history disqualifies the applicant under the enumerated provisions.
Attachment to the Constitution
An applicant must show that he or she is attached to the principles of the Constitution of the United States.
Language
Applicants for naturalization must be able to read, write, speak, and understand words in ordinary usage in the English language. Applicants exempt from this requirement are those who on the date of filing: have been residing in the United States subsequent to a lawful admission for permanent residence for periods totaling 15 years or more and are over 55 years of age; have been residing in the United States subsequent to a lawful admission for permanent residence for periods totaling 20 years or more and are over 50 years of age; or have a medically determinable physical or mental impairment, where the impairment affects the applicant’s ability to learn English.
United States Government and History Knowledge
An applicant for naturalization must demonstrate a knowledge and understanding of the fundamentals of the history and of the principles and form of government of the United States. Applicants exempt from this requirement are those who, on the date of filing, have a medically determinable physical or mental impairment, where the impairment affects the applicant’s ability to learn U.S. History and Government
Applicants who have been residing in the U.S. subsequent to a lawful admission for permanent residence for at least 20 years and are over the age of 65 will be afforded special condsideration in satisfying this requirement.
Oath of Allegiance
To become a citizen, one must take the oath of allegiance. By doing so, an applicant swears to:
support the Constitution and obey the laws of the U.S.; renounce any foreign allegiance and/or foreign title; and bear arms for the Armed Forces of the U.S. or perform services for the government of the U.S. when required. In certain instances, where the applicant establishes that he or she is opposed to any type of service in armed forces based on religious teaching or belief, INS will permit these applicants to take a modified oath.
'But what about the Green Card, that magical piece of paper that is so hard to get ahold of?'
Here is what the US wants:
Who is Eligible?
People who want to become immigrants are divided into categories based on a preference system. The immediate relatives of U.S. citizens, which includes parents, spouses and unmarried children under the age of 21, do not have to wait for an immigrant visa number to become available once the application filed for them is approved by the USCIS. An immigrant visa number will be immediately available for immediate relatives of U.S. citizens. The relatives in the remaining categories must wait for a visa to become available according to the following preferences:
Relative Sponsorship
First Preference: Unmarried, adult sons and daughters of U.S. citizens. Adult means 21 years of age or older.
Second Preference: Spouses of lawful permanent residents, and the unmarried sons and daughters (regardless of age) of lawful permanent residents and their children.
Third Preference: Married sons and daughters of U.S. citizens, their spouses and their minor children.
Fourth Preference: Brothers and sisters of adult U.S. citizens, their spouses and their minor children.
Work Visas
All people who want to become immigrants based on employment must wait for an immigrant visa number to become available according to the following preferences:
First Preference: Priority Workers including aliens with extraordinary abilities, outstanding professors and researchers, and certain multinational executives and managers. (Ok, so like Mexico & Canada, we'd appreciate it if you have mad kung-fu business skills)
Second Preference: Members of Professions Holding Advanced Degrees or Persons of Exceptional Ability. (Once again, whip out some mad kung-fu business skills)
Third Preference: Skilled Workers, professionals and other qualified workers. (Mad kung-fu business skills ftw)
Fourth: Certain special immigrants including those in religious vocations. (Why? Why solicit more damn missionaries to knock on my door at 7am?)
Fifth: Employment Creation Immigrants. (Ah, the US not only wants you to work, but it'd be spiffy if you could give someone else a job while you're at it!)
I think what pisses me off the most about this is that these people were able to organize these huge protests because they want to live & work in America without having to become citizens or having to be Americans. They want jobs, they want gov'ment cheese, and want to do nothing in return. Obviously, living conditions in their home countries are bad, otherwise they'd be sitting across the fence spitting on us like everyone else. So why don't they take all that anger and energy and motivation and organization and go home? Why don't they work that hard to change the governments where they live? Why come to this country & try to change laws that don't even technically govern them when they could march on their capital cities and overthrow their own governments and start making gov'ment cheese for themselves? Why come here and expect a free hand out? As Kelly said, though - if someone from Morocco tried to run the Spanish border, he'd get shot. But there were an awful lot of people out in front of the Excalibur & New York, New York hotels last night & the corrupt officials can't kill them all with one bullet.
Create An E-Nnoyance, Go to Jail
I'm hoping that link worked... anyway, I am a bisexual Pagan, pro-choice, childfree-by-choice, a Democrat, a softcore semi-femiNazi, in a semi-polyamorous marriage, I support medical marijuana and the freedom of information. And I vote. I believe in sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. I am also chronically cynical, depressed and I work in a cubicle. My sisters have multi-cultural (aka mixed race) children. I am colorblind when it comes to people. Somewhere someone is annoyed by my very existence.
I believe that my anonymity should be protected on the Internet. I believe that your anonymity should be protected on the Internet. I believe in the freedom of speech and religious expression.
I may not accept your beliefs but I believe in tolerance and will fight for your right to say what you want to say. And if I don't like what you have to say, most of the time I am given an 'ignore' function or 'block' function by the web master. And ya know what? If you don't like what I have to say, I feel you should be able to 'ignore' or 'block' me, too. Or at least find another webpage to browse. Kind of like changing the channel on your television or picking up a different book or changing the station on your stereo or buying the 'radio edit' CD instead of the 'Parental Advisory' version.
If you don't want to use your right to 'ignore' or 'block' me, and you want the government to step in and do it for you: Fuck you.
It's New and Improved!
Dec. 8th, 2005 11:02 amHere's what an epidemic is: affecting or tending to affect an atypically large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time, i.e. 'typhoid was epidemic'
How many people exist right now? A few over 200 have been affected by bird flu? Doesn't sound like a disease of epidemic proportions to me. Now, in New Mexico, w/a small community of Navajo natives - when something like 150 people got sick from the Hanta virus, that was an epidemic.
Pandemic: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population, i.e. pandemic malaria.
HIV/AIDS is a pandemic. Bird flu is not. But there are people out there stockpiling flu medications, food, water & guns. They're preparing for massive death & disease on a global scale. Yes, there have been some exceptionally nasty flu bugs out there, and most were probably created in labs - things do get out on lab coats & on dirty hands. It only takes one idiot to sneeze down his sleeve to start a chain reaction.
Americans love that, though - everything's got to be bigger, faster, more massive, new and improved, supersize us all the way, baby!!!
Here's another definition - 'mass hysteria':A condition in which a large group of people exhibit similar physical or emotional symptoms, such as anxiety or extreme excitement. Also called epidemic hysteria.
It should be called 'media hype hysteria'.
Personally, I think the bird flu was created by the beef industry as retaliation for BSE. And BSE was probably created by the beef industry so they'd have an excuse to charge $5 a pound for hamburger meat. Alls I know is this: if one more person sends me a 'warning' in my e-mail about avian flu & getting my flu shots updated, I'm going to start throwing raw chicken at people.
Public Behavior
Jul. 25th, 2005 08:05 amUnfortunately, for my exposed-to-the-public coworkers, not every guest is decent. A couple of nights ago, altho I am scanty on details, some guy having a problem w/his car at valet shot at Jeff & then shot himself. (And no, no one saw it in the papers - a little hush money goes a looong way when it comes to the tourist industry). And last night, a woman spit at Enrico & Shirla. She wanted to use the phone behind the desk to make an outside call & wouldn't believe that our phones out there do not dial outside lines. So instead of simply asking for a supervisor or going to a payphone, she resorted to name-calling and spitting. I wonder if she realizes that if one of her loogies had actually made contact she could have been arrested for assault? If it had been me, I would have made sure she hit some innocuous part of my uniform & that Metro had been called. Spit on someone because you can't use the phone. Real nice, lady, whoever you are. You kiss your mom with that mouth?
My parents, if nothing else, taught me some manners. Hold the door open for others, don't spit on people, don't throw temper tantrums over nothing... A little honey will catch far more flies than vinegar. You can't always get your own way, but much like unruly dogs, people who act like asses in public DO get their own way, and every time they get faster service or a comp or some money off their room, that horrible behavior just gets reinforced.
I really need to get out of this business. I am so disgusted by my own species.