Namaste, Bitches

Ahhh, I got drunk last night. Tequila, tequila & more tequila. I feel pretty darned good today, too - I'm actually relaxed. I haven't gotten good & drunk since last May when I started my day job. No hung over headache, just an unhappy stomach... Slept on the couch for a few hours, got up around 7am & went to my own bed, fortified w/water, Tylenol & jello. Got up around noon, dyed my head, put laundry away, did dishes, cooked, etc. & so forth. Utter domestication.

Played a little 'Red Dead Revolver' while blitzed, but it's really hard - even when sober. I love to shoot stuff, but the control is really awkward, so I switched over to 'Need for Speed'. I think it's fun to play NFS because the cops in the game don't know I'm drunk.

Missed Eric this year - he took Jody to see 'Vamps'. She said the music was really good but the choreography & storyline was really, really bad.

I've found out that I really like Los Lonely Boys... and Uncle Kracker. 'No Stranger to Shame' is a good CD - every single song. There's one on there, I can't remember the title, but he's talking about being a rock 'n roll dad & how he hopes he can come home & see his kids before it's too late - it's a tear-jerker. He also does a cover of 'Memphis Soul Song' that is so rich & thick w/melody & a purity of voice to it, as pure as Uncle Kracker's voice can be, anyway. Makes me think about when I'd sneak out of the house in Memphis & end up on Beal St. - too young to go into the bars, but I could stand out in the river fog by the doorways & listen.

Went to see Seal last night, but strangely enough it's not Seal that's running thru my head, it's a song that was playing on the loudspeakers during intermission. I've heard it maybe once before, but I don't know who it's by, or what it's called. It's fairly new, has this driving tribal beat to it, the singers are sort of shout-singing - the only words I could really make out above Jody's yelling at me was something like "We are... we are, we are...". Jody says it's Peter Gabriel, but I don't think so. It could very well be Afro-Celtic Sound System, but I've only heard one song by them & it had Peter Gabriel as a guest singer (When You're Falling.) Tomorrow me & Rob are taking our dead-scorpion-in-a-jar to the Dept. of Agriculture for identification, so I'm gonna get him to take me to either Virgin Records or Odyssey to see if I can find who it's by or what it's named. Virgin would probably be niftier, as I can buy some "Virgin" brand condoms while I'm there.
Last night, as I lay in my bed, throbbing w/mingled bass vibrations & pain, waiting for the Darvocet & Flexiril to kick in, I popped in my Shamanic drumming CD. I got the weird sensation of me getting up out of bed & walking counter-clockwise around the house, checking all the doors & windows. Even now, it's half remembered, because I was still laying in bed watching myself do this. Why widdershins? Rattling windows & locks. I was in this comatose paralysis, drifting in & out of sleep, but my fetch is roaming around doing a security patrol. Then the call-back on the CD started & panicked me in the worst way. Lay there w/my heart pounding blood into my head, adrenaline rush, everything. My heart beating hard enough to shake the bed. I'd like to listen to it again tonight, but Rob's already asleep.
Rob's confessed jealousy of Eric, which was never present before my mentioning that he would be coming out in March. I laughed at Rob, which was mean, but o fucking well. (I'm mean. It's what I do best.) Anyway, it just kills me. Now Rob's walking around w/his Mr. Insecurity face on. I told him that I'm tired of being over-protected & worried about, I'm tired of never being able to do things on my own, I'm getting tired of being a married person because I have no space or time to myself. He just told me he could feel it, but he "protects what he cherishes". I just don't want to be cherished anymore. I'm getting to be like Greta Garbo - "I vant to be alone."
It's funny - I've always felt a kindred towards Persephone, that chthonic Goddess Who is a footnote in the tale of Demeter. I was reading an old mythology book, & in it the author said that someone (maybe Herakles, maybe Jason & the Argonauts? Odysseus?) briefly considered an attempt to steal Persephone from Hades, but changed his mind because "She is that most closely guarded & protected of Queens". Sometimes I feel so much like that.
Hoping I didn't give Lisa's family the flu when I visited. Even tho I'm just feeling like it's the change-of-weather related respiratory problems.