Namaste, Bitches

Great Goddess Caffeina

I come before you as a supplicant
I must turn my back to you in the name of my heart's health
Your power is too strong for one meager muscle
You throw my rhythms out of whack
You constrict my blood vessels
You stimulate me beyond what I can handle
So I must forsake you
At least for now
Until I can get my blood pressure under control
Until the Beta blocker can still my erratic thumpings
Until yoga and meditation can calm my busy mind

You know I love you and I speak only kind words about you
I preach your gospel wherever I go
I have given you daily offerings of sugar and cream and sometimes cinnamon and hazelnuts
I have made great sacrifices from my wages to support you
I don't drink crappy coffee lest it offend you

Please, be kind to your faithful servant
Do not punish me too harshly
Do not make my head pound for days
Do not make me tired and lethargic
Give me a kind and non-painful release from your savory aromatic service.

Amen.

I know it's not the National Exploitation of Indigenous Northern American Peoples Day yet, but...

I am thankful that Las Vegas is relatively safe from wildfires, at least here in the valley depths.
I am thankful that more people have made it out of California alive than have died in the fires.
I am thankful that I have a job, even if it makes me feel like a heel.
I am thankful that Rob & I were able to have dinner tonight, thankful to my job for paying for my meal, thankful to the Angus cow that provided its tasty meat and whichever cow provided the cheese on my burger and thankful to the hog that gave me bacon and thankful to the shrooms and yeast and wheat that bound it all together, along with the potatos and lettuce and what not. I never really think about what all goes into making a meal, but it's all gotta come from somewhere, and I thank the Earth for providing it.
I am thankful that I can sit here & drink a beer & play WoW for a few hours tonight.
I am thankful I have a home to come home to.
I am thankful tonight.

Blessed be, y'all.

Lion Cubs Poisoned By Zoo

In other news: Things For Which I'm Thankful. Not that I really celebrate Thanksgiving - to me it's 'National Exploitation of Indigenous Peoples and Poultry Day', but it is still a harvest festival of sorts.

I'm thankful that I'm not allergic to peanuts.

I'm thankful that I have a job to go to on Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful I have co-workers who can cook - and like my cooking in return.

I'm thankful that Ed & Nessie are healthy.

I'm thankful that all our bills are paid.

I'm thankful that Rob's mom doesn't charge us that much for rent.

I'm thankful that Elavil helps me sleep & lets me dream.

I'm thankful that there's only a few more weeks left in this semester.

I'm thankful that I haven't been stung by a scorpion yet.

I'm thankful for the chilly nights.

I'm thankful we have food in the freezer for the next coupla days.

I'm thankful there's still a cup of coffee left in the pot for me to nuke before I go to work.

I prayed this morning. Prayed for rain. This could get ugly.

I told the Great Mystery straight up that the reason I no longer pray, I no longer ask, is that I'm tired of being betrayed, tired of my Coyote medicine getting involved with everything I try to do. But I gave it a shot - lit some cedar & sweet grass, picked up the rain stick & prayed.

I am constantly confounded by people who choose to live in Florida. Especially people whose houses were destroyed by a hurricane, who then rebuild their house in the same area, and have it destroyed by yet another hurricane. Or people in California who choose to live on cliffsides near the shore... They know their house is going to slide down the hill eventually. Their house slides down the hill... totally destroyed, all their stuff gone. So what do they do? They rebuild. On the same exact hillside, of course. Which is consumed by wildfires later that year, and then it falls back down the hill... There is a difference between persistence & insanity. Persistence means being able to bounce back from a disaster, not letting it destroy your spirit & willpower. Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again while expecting different results.

Finding low-carbohydrate foods is becoming nearly impossible. I am so tired of meat & broccoli it's not even funny. I hate lettuce. To me, lettuce is a useless plant. I'm sure it serves some purpose in the grander universe, but it just starts to smell like rotting garbage after the 9th or 10th salad in a week. I had broccoli for breakfast.

I'm also sick & tired of MCI calling the house. I finally managed to answer the phone & told the agent to take me off of the calling list. It takes 10 business days, tho, so "I may receive more phone calls during this time". Bastards.

Om Sri Maha Kalikaiay Namah

Kali-Ma, take from me all that is false.
Take my eyes that I may see through Yours.
Take my tongue so that I may speak truth.
Take my hands so that I may touch Nothing.
Take my ears so that I may listen to the space between.
Take my nostrils so that Your divine Breath may enter me.
Take my flesh so that I may become whole.
Take my life, I am but Your child.

Kali-Ma, the darkness that always is, the darkness that always will be, the darkness that always was. Your tongue is a river of flame that burns away deceptive words. Your eyes are lanterns that see past the mist and clouds of insincerity. Your ears hear that which is unsaid. Your hands hold us all. Your nostrils breathe with the life-force that takes as well as gives. Your body is the darkness, Your yoni a hungering mouth. Planets ring Your thighs like heads of fallen enemies, stars like skulls of the ancestors rattle for You, music so You can dance. The thunder of Your soles upon the Void shakes down all walls, all cities, all worlds, leaving only the empty chasms of time.

Om Sri Maha Kalikaiay Namah

Kali-Ma, rip all illusion away from me and let me see truly.