Namaste, Bitches

Some questions answer themselves.

Like typing into google the following question: "If I wire transfer money to a fugitive, can I be charged with aiding and abetting?".

I think the mere fact of feeling it necessary to type that question into a search engine probably means that it's a question I shouldn't even be exploring. Yes, Josh had a big cock, but he wasn't great enough in bed for me to face felony charges on his behalf. However, he has provided me with several days worth of free entertainment because the tale of his arrest was fucking hilarious. I kept trying not to laugh on the phone, but... he's a big dude. And the cops only managed to get one wrist in the handcuffs when he flailed out & hit one of the cops in the face (resisting arrest & assaulting an officer). He pulled a Braveheart & ran, yelling "Freedom!!!" The cops tased him three times - he got up the first two times & then the cops proceeded to beat the living crap out of him on the third. And he was drunk on Jaeger. Sooo many drunken arrest stories start out with, "Well, we were doing Jaeger shots..." I just have this mental image of this big huge drunken moron running off into the desert yelling, "Freedom!!!" The only way it could be funnier is if he was naked & painted blue. 

Luckily for my criminal record, today has been a day of false starts. We had two contractors out to give us quotes on fencing. Both told us 'oh, you don't need permits, because Code Enforcement never looks at these things... but if you want me to get the permits, it's going to cost $500". On the County website, it says the only fence you don't need permits for is if it's 2' or shorter, and retaining walls in back yards. Which means, yes, we do need permits and we've already had encounters w/Code Enforcement in our neighborhood, so they do check on things. So we have to submit a 'plat map' of our property with the planned outline of the fencing we're going to have put in. Lo and behold, no plat map is on record for this property. Yay. A professional surveyor would charge anywhere from $300 - $500 to create one. It seems like every time we look into getting this fence, we end up deeper & deeper down the red-tape rabbit hole. I mean, fuck, it's a fence. It's not like we're building a theme park up in this bitch.

We've also been thinking about tiling the house. Which means pulling out the carpet, moving furniture & being terribly inconvenienced until the job is done. And it will be performed by the mil, Rob & myself. Yeaaah, not gonna happen. We probably need permits for that, too.

Well, someone claiming to be Lamont messaged me here & left me his phone number a week or so ago... I've procrastinated & procrastinated contacting him because, well, I hate the phone. I hate talking on the phone. I also feel awkward calling someone I haven't spoken to in 20 years. But anyway, I finally mustered up the nerve to text them (ah, yes, the wonders of technology) and after a game of 20 questions, they told me it was a wrong number.

I had a very busy weekend... I actually went outside and did yardwork on Saturday, planted some stuff in jiffy pots. (Yes, all poisonous, except the lavender, heh). Supposed to go see the doc tomorrow about my hair loss.

Restored from Draft:

This was Saturday:
Bought a little mini-barbecue a coupla weeks ago & finally ventured out in the back yard to set it up. I had relinqueshed the back yard to the scorpions over the past year or so. It’s gotten bad out there - some of the weeds out back were progressing into bushes. Anyway, I swept and killed weeds & removed dead weeds, cleaned Ed’s old tank for Nessie and Rob & I assembled the barbecue grill.

As I was cruising the landscape, I noticed a strange hole in the planter out against the wall. It looks like we’ve either got a true tarantula living out there or some other fairly large funnel web spider. It’s a good sign because burrowing spiders won’t normally choose territory that’s infested by scorpions. With all my cleaning and sweeping nothing turned up except dead spiders and crickets.

We also did some running around getting more adapters and cables for Rob’s new computer. We’ve been working on that thing on & off all day, trying to install his game controllers, fighting with the general no-new-programs-or-hardware allowed attitude that Vista has.

All in all, I’m tired. I called in sick at the Excalibur - said ’fuck it’. It puts me at 5.5 points so I’m not quite getting suspended.


This was Friday, around 1:30a.m. :

Rob, with all his static, managed to fry his computer. Literally. Wednesday night he turned his computer on & his mouse was frozen. I got to messing around with his machine, trying out some of the other USB ports. I kept seeing this little tiny flash of light, but I was thinking maybe it was the network card or something, and then as I’m fumbling around with the plugs in the back, it felt like something was stinging my hand. So I stuck my head behind his computer & it looked like a very tiny sparkler was spraying from the problematic USB port. I said, as calmly as possible concerning the fact that I had stuck my face up real close to the sparks, "Sparks. Rob, sparks. There are sparks coming out of your computer." So he got back there & confirmed that yes indeed, sparks were pouring out of his USB port. There was also a definitive burning smell emanating from the computer and the game controller cord that had been plugged into said port was quite hot to the touch.


Rob tried one of the non-sparking USB ports and actually kept using his computer until Friday morning. He was sitting here playing WoW & his video card kept crashing. Then he smelled something burning, opened up his case and revealed a small fire on the motherboard.

It’s been awhile since Rob has had a bona fide new computer. He struggles with these chop-shop newspaper classified computers that he twiddles with and tweaks ... and they always seem to literally catch fire and go up in smoke. So we still had a smidge of the tax return left and I took him computer shopping.
He got a pretty decent deal on a new Sony VAIO - Pentium Centrino Duo, 3G of RAM, nVidia 8400 w/256MB of onboard RAM - I don’t like the RAM-sharing most laptop graphics drivers have. Of course, getting one that doesn’t share RAM (like from Voodoo or AlienWare) runs about... oh, $6K.

All the new computers have Windows Vista on them, including Rob’s, and from the little experience I have w/Vista I don’t like it much. I don’t know who the people are who convinced Microsoft that a computer should not allow them to do anything without confirming that they do indeed want to do it, but they should all be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes. Vista acts like you should be content with whatever programs are loaded into it at the factory and you should never have to load any new programs into it whatsoever.

Not only does it have Windows’ own firewall/spyware/anti-virus on it, but Sony added in a Spyware blocking tool and Norton 360. Every single time you access a program, Vista asks if you meant to do that. If you go online, you can’t actually visit any websites because they’re all blocked - you have to change the internet security settings from the first boot-up. I had to install WoW immediately because Rob’s having withdrawals... Even after turning off all the Windows security features, the Spyware blocker and NAV, to install the original WoW, it still wouldn’t auto-install. I had to copy the installation from the discs into a separate folder and then restart Windows in Safe Mode just to run the installation.

If Rob can actually manage to access any online porn, his computer should be completely safe from any number of viruses, Trojans, spyware, adware, malware, you-name-it-ware. Vista is the equivalent of a full-body condom for a computer. Rob’s mom is thinking of getting herself a new laptop - her’s is less than a year old but she’s aiming for something smaller. I may end up with a new laptop - also with Vista. Which means yeah, I’ll have a nice computer I can take anywhere, but if I want to get anything done, I’ll have to use my desktop with XP... the last version of Windows that actually works. Gods, I miss Win 98se so hard!

That’s the first time I’ve ever actually had to use Safe Mode to install a program. I’ve been futzing around with that computer for 4 hours now, but at least Rob can have it back finally. Of course, he went to bed 2 hours ago.

My rather eclectic taste in music is part of what convinced me that reincarnation is reality. Why else would a lower-middle-class white chick know anything about the blues? I liked the blues before Ralph Macchio was in Crossroads, and before I ended up in Memphis - that was just where I got educated.

I like the starkness of the Delta blues better - just a voice & a little guitar, but damn, Muddy Waters & Howlin' Wolf are so... damned... good. Hair-raising. It's funny, though, to hear songs like Bring It On Home done by Sonny Boy Williamson & prop it up against Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant did a decent imitation of Williamson's warbling intro - beyond that, even though I have always and will always love the Golden God - Plant's voice is no match for Williamson. It's not even fair to put Plant up against Howlin' Wolf. Killing Floor was his loooong before Led Zeppelin was born.

I got the Chess Box Set, 1947 - 1967 today. It was kind of like leaping into the void for me as far as not knowing what was on the CD's - if it was going to be outtakes or B-sides or frequently covered modern crap. There's a couple of tunes by John Lee Hooker, & a lot of Waters & Wolf (they were Chess' big sellers of the day), but it's also cool to hear Memphis Minnie & sweet, sweet Etta James.

I'm on vacation now, so I'll have time to explore the music a little. Finished staining Ed's tank trim. Rob was trying to widen the bolt-holes on the security gate in my room & managed to put the drill through my window. So much for a stress-free break from work. If it's not work, it's the in-laws. I cannot win. The Universe obviously wants me to go bat-shit crazy. Ah well. I called in sick for two nights, so my vacation hasn't officially started yet. Tomorrow, which would be day 1, is going to be spent dealing w/the in-laws trying to get my window fixed.

I got some stuff cleared off my desk - more coloring books to scan into the hard-drive. They've been sitting on my desk since late August. Feels good to get rid of them. I also closed my myspace account. I keep saying, "I don't have time for this or that" so I'm going to gradually start eliminating all the things that eat up my time. myspace was a big one. So was okcupid - that account is also closed. WoW is sacred space - don't even go there!

I slept all day, and in those brief moments when I was awake (like when the doorbell rang around 11am, & when Rob's mom called at 1) I got to fall back asleep to the sound of the rain. Now I know why I had that horrendous headache last night. The sky was clear as a bell when I came home this morning, so those clouds must have rolled in fast. My room was dark and cozy with that special kind of dark only rainclouds can give it.

I got some tatami mats from AS&S, & I'm planning on hanging them up over the security gate instead of the big red sheet currently up there. Kind of complete my Balinese decor. I still need a headboard of bamboo or rattan or something. What I'd actually like to do is get one of those room-divider standing screens & basically just stand it flat against the wall behind the bed, but I haven't found one that fits in.

Normally I’d do this in my lj & then copy/paste it to word, but tonight it’s the other way around. I put this off all night in the hopes that I would run short on time & not be able to do it at all, but here I am, 10 minutes away from needing to rush out the door to go to work. Agh.

Rob had an encounter w/the a/c intake grate this morning. It’s been rattling ever since we found that loudspeaker & took it out, and for some reason the last time we changed the filter it got much worse. So we changed the filter this morning & set about stuffing the edges w/paper towels. As a result, he couldn’t get the screws back in & the grate won’t close. So he fucked w/it & fucked w/it, screamed, hollered, threw a screwdriver, almost punched the wall, punched the filter grate & generally made a childish ass out of himself. And I let him carry on. Because rather than letting me help, or letting me have a go at it, he had to fix it. So now, of course, the grate is all bent & warped, still won’t close all the way, looks like crap – but it doesn’t rattle anymore.

 

My blood pressure has been erratic since I switched to the Lotrel – this morning, when Rob was pitching a fit the bottom number hit an all-time high of 104. But when I woke up tonight, it was normal.

 

My mind just completely went blank. I spend a good three or four minutes of my ten just sitting here staring at the screen. Yeesh. My knees are wobbly & I’m all out of breath due to the quickie we just had. We get around to having sex so infrequently these days. We almost have to set appointments. Watched FMA – it’s getting close to the end of the series. Al got eaten alive by a homunculus. I don’t like when things mess w/Al, especially when they mess w/his head. He’s a little kid in a big suit of armor.

is finally finished. I don't know who these yoyo's were that the in-laws hired to get this job done, but they took forever getting around to it. And now the next door neighbor is giving us shit for raising the wall on the opposite side of his house maybe 8"... I swear, some people literally can't stay out of other people's bidness. He's selling his house anyway, so why does he even bother caring about what we do w/the other wall? Old people need to have jobs or something to do w/their time. Either that, or they need to be shot the day after they retire if they don't die of a heart attack later that afternoon. I'm easing everyone out of having to put up w/me - I'm voluntarily shooting myself the day after I retire... Josh is going out in a boatload of C4. Rob's strapping himself up w/C4 & jumping into the Grand Canyon - says his explosive tripwire will be about 25' shorter than the canyon floor so he explodes before he hits the ground. So there will be 3 fewer potential crotchety old nosey-ass people in the world for the younger generations to worry about. Hah!

Lessee... little less than 3 weeks til my muthafuhin vacashun! And what the in-laws don't know can't hurt me none. I ain't telling a soul that I'm off for a whole 10 days. Having given up on my ideas for Magic Mtn., I am now perfectly content w/the idea of couch surfing. I will listen to music, I will sleep, I will play w/the snakes, I may or may not call Jody & Lisa, I will enjoy the 3 nights that Rob works by getting completely 'faced & jilling off all night while writhing on the floor to the soulful sounds of NWA & Eminem. So there :P :::pbthththth:::.
On other notes, tonight I ordered the Shamanic drumming CD that I've had me eyeballs on for some time. It's the first step & already I'm terrified to listen to it. It's the direction that I've been headed in for years now, in a Neo-Pagan Voodoo sort of way, via Buddhism & some down-home herbman wisdom... I played w/rattles & drums in a Cost Plus a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes music makers feel so good in my hands, like they've always been there. Rob wants to spend money at the Ren Fair, been talking about one of those Water Dragon bowls I saw last year, but I think if I can find an honest-to-goodness dobhran that's the route I'll take. Still working on those dreams I had about the Army guy. I think that's what I'm going to use the drumming tape for, once I figure out how to guide myself instead of letting the music guide me. Finding out a little bit more about ol' Dan "Digger".
Still wanting burgundy & gold in my bedroom. Got the new bed, ordered some wicker & wrought iron nightstands. I'm thinking the lightness of the wicker against deep burgundy will look exactly right. Now I just need a bureau & a head/foot board set that works in w/it all. If only I could get rid of that awful beige carpet... not that I really know what I'd replace it with. Straw mats? Woven rushes? Sweetgrass & lemongrass strewn on a raw wooden floor?
Still analyzing "happy" and "love". I think I missed class on those days. Some lessons are lessons that follow you around all your life. Do you know how many Pagans I've met who've been touched by Freya & Aphrodite & Venus & Eros & Pan & all those lovely, loving, horny deities, all the Voodoo websites dedicated to Erzulie, how many children of Oshun there are? Me, who do I get? The Barons. Anubis. Hecate. Hades & Persephone. The Dark Faces of the Gods & Goddesses, the chthonic deities, the tricksters & jokers, the wild cards, the wild ride. I try to do one lousy little lust spell, very specific, and I get insane giggles from my patrons.
Which brings to mind... last night I was watching "Wild Discovery" - it was about the world's cleverest animals. Someone in England has a raven they named Loki. And they've basically taught Loki how to beat a security system to steal the Crown Jewels. Right now, I can think of at least 3 separate deities who are laughing their asses off. (Bran, Odin & of course, Loki Himself) This brought numerous questions to my mind:
1) Why would you name a raven Loki?
2) Why would you go through all the trouble to teach a raven a security code?
3) Why would you teach a raven how to dial the telephone?
4) Why show a raven how to detect laser-beam motion detectors?
5) What are you gonna do when this raven actually does steal the Crown Jewels?
6) What are you gonna do when this raven teaches all his friends how to steal the Crown Jewels?